Braces, A Surprise Big Enough to Vaporize Your Sock Drawer, Green Thumb’s Column, and the Wild, Wild, West(Goodbye forever, chances of this blog having sophisticated humor!)Part 1

I am getting my braces. D-Day. Doomsday. Camp Ramah all over again. To prove it to you, here’s a list of the top ten bad things that have happened to me.

The Top Ten/10 Worst Things That Have Ever Happened To Me In My Entire Life 

1. Camp Ramah A.K.A. The Dreaded Sleep-Away Camp of No Pretzels(TDS-ACNP) AND Getting my teeth yanked out at the dentist.

2. Nearly drowning when I was taking a shower on vacation. (See “We Interrupt This Spoof For A Special Announcement”)

3. Karion taking over this blog.

4. Estimating things in math.

5. The anticipation of having to wait to find out if I’m going to have a good report card.

6. The anticipation of having to wait to see if I’m going to get on the “Honor Roll”.

7. The anticipation of having to wait to see if I’m finally the “Student of the Month”. I’ve never been the “Student of the Month” in seventh grade, so far. 

8. Coming home from Camp Ramah to find out that Momicon hasn’t gotten my books on hold at the library that she had time to get, but didn’t.

9. A new book was one of the previously mentioned books on hold.

10. Medicine for the dentist, which makes me “calm.”

Here’s a couplet about my dentist woes.

Do not make me go the orthodontist for braces

It’s worse than having your face freeze after you make funny faces.

I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING!! I’m trying to parody my earlier blog post by making a similar real-life thing about it. Is this making any sense? I just had my “loopy medicine.” Anyway, the operation where I had four teeth pulled was this month, last year. Wow.

SURPRISE!!!!! The parody of an earlier blog post was a parody of Phineas and Ferb‘s “Rollercoaster: The Musical” retelling “Rollercoaster.”

Green Thumb’s column is coming back tommore  uphf………………..loopy…medicine…..

Zarion………..out…….

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The Prologue to my Murder Mystery

Orangey Rickshaw’s Horrifying Tale

Prologue: Death?

It was a terrifying night to be outside, in the gloom. The air was filled with a musky scent, and the comic shop had an aura of despair coming from it. Yet, there was someone coming anyway. He was a small, rather-twitchy boy wearing a small, lime-green jacket, sweatpants,  and a sweat shirt with the brand name tackily stitched on the front.

“Hello?” he said, trying the door. “Is anyone there? The door’s locked. Hello? My name is Peter Smith, and I came to pick up the book I requested. The new Mega-Person comic?”

Mumbling to himself, he tried the door again, and it swung open as if it had been greased.

“That’s odd.” Peter whispered, even though he was seemingly the only one there. “It was locked before.”

As he slowly shuffled into the dank shop and turned on the light, a pair of eyes watched him, and closed the door, ever so quietly, so he wouldn’t hear it.

“Oh, here it is. Right on the counter.” Peter picked up the package.

Suddenly, the lights turned off!

“Hey, who’s there? I thought this place was empty! M-maybe the owner’s in the back room, p-playing a j-joke on me.” Peter stuttered.

“Oh, you’re not alone, Smith. Not anymore!” A raspy voice shrieked right next to his ear.

A long, drawn-out scream drowned out the rain splashing against the comic shop.

A minute later, the screaming abruptly stopped, light briefly flickered back on, and the “Closed” sign was put up.

 

Game Show Bloopers From Miscellaneous Soup’s Own Game Shows

Hi. I’m so happy that you could make it to this special event. I first posted a game show last Chanukah, in December. Now it’s 2011, January, and Chanukah is over.WHO CARES??!!! In my mind, it’s still the one year anniversary of Miscellaneous Soup’s game shows. There’s been many, many, many, MANY bloopers in our fairly wacky game shows, and now is the time to show them. Starting with, me re-posting the first game shows.

It’s Finally Here!!

Remember the BIG thing that I was hinting at? Well, here it is!! A game!!! I’m going to do many, many more game shows, so keep your eyes peeled and read my blog!! Now, it’s time for The Dynamite is Right!! I’m your host, Zarion Kreena, and get ready for this EXPLOSIVE new game show!! Here’s our first contestant, Joe Cool! Hello, Joe, and how are you today? I’m fine,Zarion, and I can’t wait to play! Um, what do I have to do?You simply have to spin the wheel made out of lit dynamite, pull one out, and pray that it won’t explode!! Then, if it doesn’t explode, then you have to jump into the ravenous piranha tank. Now, let’s play!! Okay, I’m picking out the TNT 2000, I hope it doesn’t-BOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!! Oh, that’s too bad! Hey, take Joe Cool to the nearest hospital. Also, it should preferably be one that specializes in the extraction of dynamite from the nose! Here’s our next contestant! He’s from another dimension, he’s a (fairly)competent superhero, and he also loves pretzels!! Meet Tigerboy! So, Tigerboy, I understand that you belong to the superhero organization known as the Superclub?Yes, I do. Is it also true that you believe that you have a definite chance of winning? Yes. Why? You see, I have a resistance to dynamite, lasers, and basically anything like that. You could say that it’s like the equivalent of Superman’s bullet-proofness. It is one of the advantages of being so tiny. Why are you so small? I’m so small, because-DING-A-LING!!! Oh, that’s all the time we have to chat, time for you to-BOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!! Ooh, you didn’t even take the stick of TNT out yet- Holy cow!! You’re not hurt! You just look a little dizzy!!! You do have invulnerability to things like that! Now, let’s see, we only have enough time left  in the show to do our Bonus Round!!!  For the Bonus Round, you just have to eat this eatable dynamite and survive. Munch!! Munch! MMM! Tastes like pretzels!! Yummy!Wow, the show is over, and we have extra time! So, why are you tiny?  You used to be a giant tiger. It’s because that was a different form. “Miniature Tiger” is my main form. Oh. Here’s my secret recipe for “Tigerboy’s Tasty Tacos”, if it makes you feel better. The secret ingredient is-

THE END

Now, the next post might scare you, because it’s a TEXTING DICTIONARY!!!! Those things are evil. Now, shoo, shoo. Read the next re-blogged post.

Zarion Kreena’s Way Cool Texting(And Other Things That I Through In Just For Fun) Dictionary

LOL: Laugh out Loud

ROTFL: Rolling on the floor laughing

OMG: Oh, my gosh.

Critical Mass Weight of Underwear in a Space Suit: You don’t need underwear in a space suit(I think. Man, where was my BIE? That stands for Blog Idea Engineer.)

FYI: For Your Information

Dude: A name that means a friend, or a greeting.

Murgleschmurgleburgle: I made this one up, just because I wanted to. Hey, it’s not as if people can change my posts. I’m the only person who-

Hello. I am Mr.Fancypants VanMurkenmickle, and I would like to introduce you to a new entry that I like to call Masterpiece Theater- The Bloggy Version as only I can do it. Poor Zarion is now running a hot-dog and hamburger stand in Miami. HEY, how did you get back here???!!! No, no! What are you doing with that piece of dynamite from that obnoxious game show entitled

The Dynamite is Right!!

Hello, folks. Zarion is back, and ready to host another game show!!! Our first contestant is our (only) champion dynamite-surviver, Tigerboy!!! Hey, I just realized something. (Sorry for this, creators of Garfield and Friends.) This is one of

Zarion’s Tales of Scary Stuff!!

Someone is watching me. Okay, I’m going to look behind me, and-OHHHH, YEAH!!!!! It’s the new game show!!!

To be continued………

I loved that post. Mr. Fancypants Van Murkenmickle is now locked up in the ‘Special Operations’ booth, because he tried to sneak back in for this celebration. I’m calling the police on him for breaking, entering, not wiping his shoes on the mat, bad breath, and eating too many pieces of beef jerky. Meat is not allowed here, unless it’s for a game show. Now, onto the next game show.

It’s time for another….

Game Show!!!

I’m your host, Zarion Kreena, and it’s time to play Question Commotion!!!! Our first contestant has miraculously survived “The Dynamite is Right”, and will be the Ultimate Zarion Kreena Gaming Champion, until he finally loses a game. And now… LET’S BEGIN!!!!!!! Okay, Tigerboy, your first question is: How do you say “My pants are on fire” in French. Uh, the answer is “Mispantalones estan el fuego.” Correct! Now, what color am I thinking of? Burnt sienna? That’s my final answer. by the way.Right again! Now, here’s your final question. If you get this wrong, you will be attacked by a pack of ravenous Chihuahuas. What is the capital of HFTYT(YAuodghiet0ij-ania? I don’t know.You are correct! The answer is “I Don’t Know”! You win……—Wait, the answer is really “We Don’t Know”. Okay, Chihuahuas… ATTACK!!!! AHHHHHH…. GET THEM OFF!!! I’M TICKLISH!!!

That always cracks me up. The chihuahuas are here, too. Happy is teaching them how to juggle sticks of dynamite. Wait, did I just say what I think I said? Get away, Happy!!! Back, back!!! Tigerboy, where are you? Right here-Hey, why do I have to get the magenta coloring?  Cuddles wanted the maroon. Anyway, we have a 201-66-4-4242-Code 99999$$$$POnypanter-Code Puce Delta. Timmy fell into the well again? Not a Code 99999$$$$POnypanter-Code Blechhhh, a Code 99999$$$$POnypanter-Code Puce. Oh. By the way, what’s the code for “Alfred E. Nueman just robbed us?” ALFRED E. NUEMAN JUST ROBBED US?????!!!! Forget the endangered chihuahuas. Lucky(cute, baby bunny; likes gardening, carrots, and helping people) can help them. LET’S GO GET OUR STUFF BACK!!! And the code, for future reference, is “What, Me Worry?” What about the blog? I didn’t want to have to do this…..Cuddles, you’re(gulp; shudder)in charge. YAHHHHHHHHOOOOOOO!!!!! Okay, Zarion and Tigerboy, I’ll do my bestest. New re-blogging, away!!!

Syrika’s Angry Rant About Tinkerbell(Post #2 by Syrika)

Razzin frazzin dingdong!!!!!!!!!! Zarionikinz didn’t let me make my own title, grumble grumble. Anyway, this is an angry rant- made INTO A GAME SHOW!!!!!!!!! This is called Nicknames for Numbskulls, and on the first show ever, we’re starring Tinkerbell!!!!! Our first contestant is some hobo we found in a garbage truck. His name is Some Hobo. So, Some, what nickname do you have in mind for our awful enemy?Uhhhh……….Snorksnorksnork Stiggerbell? Okay, Stinkerbell. A very traditional name, I will rate it 5/10. NOW GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!  So,our next contestant hopefully will be better than Some Hobo. Introducing…Vidia! So, Vidia, I understand you are also a Never Fairy? Why, yes. And I absolutely loathe Tinkerbell, like I loathe every other fairy in Neverland. So that’s why my nickname for her is Tinklebell.(Note: This is Zarion speaking. That’s creative, but it’s already been in a spoof. Oh well. Sorry.) Well, that is a name, but it’s quite boring…SECURITY! GET HER OUT OF HERE! THREE OUT TEN! THREE OUT OF TEN! Hey, hey, you can’t do this to meee……ARK!!! So, this is our last contestant. I know, I know only three contestants, but we’re tight on money here. Give a warm welcome to….. Evil Flame of Death!! (Note: He speaks in baby-talk/Cuddles-ese. BWA-HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!)Hewwo, efwybody. My name for da conteest ees Teenkerbelch!Tinkerbelch, did you say Tinkerbelch? Yes, Teenkerbelch!Tinkerbelch?! YES, TEENKERBELCH!!!!!!!! Tinkerbelch?TEENKERBELCH! TEENKERBELCH! TEENKERBELCH! WOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!! It’s…it’s TEN OUT TEN! TEN OUT OF TEN! WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!!!! And, for the grand finale we have Tinkerbell trapped in a little glass jar! Ahem.. I mean Tinkerbelch! So, Evil Flame of Death, you have the honors of crushing this little fairy that everyone hates! Okay, my pweasure. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Da-da-dah. Da-da-dahhh..Ah, who cares! HOORAY!!! And now, this game show is over!!! Shoo, shoo! Go talk to Zarion! Hey, why do I always say something like that when I end something I am writing on this blog?

Hooray!!! Don’t worry, Tinkerbelch survived. She’s currently locked up in a padded cell, raving things about “getting us back” and “everlasting doom upon us.” Nothing to worry about. Speaking of Syrika, where is she? She’s supposed to help me introduce some new posts. HELP!!! I HAVE A CRISIS!!! I’ll stall for time. Hi, Cuddes. SYRIKA???? No. Lucky. Didn’t Zarion and Tigerboy need my help? You know, chainsaws, dynamite, Chihuahuas? The Chihuahuas are fine; They’re actually trained to do this. I’m worried about Happy destroying the non-stolen things we have in the studio. Find some meaningless task for him to do. OOH! Tell him to count all of the grains of salt in this giant salt shaker. Okay. Let’s re-blog some more posts.

Goodbye forever, (fragmented) baby tooth!

Well, this is it. D-Day. Doomsday. One of the worst things that has ever happened to me in my entire life. Here’s a list, to rove it to you. (Also, this my special 275 post O’ Happiness!!) Beprepared to have lots of fun reading this, while I get a tooth forcibly yanked out of my mouth at the dentist.

The Top Ten/10 Worst Things That Have Ever Happened To Me In My Entire Life 

1. Camp Ramah A.K.A. The Dreaded Sleep-Away Camp of No Pretzels(TDS-ACNP) AND Getting my teeth yanked out at the dentist.

2. Nearly drowning when I was taking a shower on vacation. (See “We Interrupt This Spoof For A Special Announcement”)

3. Karion taking over this blog.

4. Estimating things in math.

5. The anticipation of having to wait to find out if I’m going to have a good report card.

6. The anticipation of having to wait to see if I’m going to get on the “Honor Roll”.

7. The anticipation of having to wait to see if I’m finally the “Student of the Month”. I’ve never been the “Student of the Month” in seventh grade, so far. 

8. Coming home from Camp Ramah to find out that Momicon hasn’t gotten my books on hold at the library that she had time to get, but didn’t.

9. A new book was one of the previously mentioned books on hold.

10. Medicine for the dentist, which makes me “calm.”
A Haiku About My Dentist Woes

Oh, no! The dentist!

I don’t want to lose my teeth!

Maybe I should run!!

I’m back. I had to drink that disgusting medicine. Technically, it was the “pain” medicine AND the “calm” medicine. So, in about an hour, I should be calm. Or, as Momicon calls it, loopy. This will most be likely be my last blog post of the day. Speaking of which, I won’t be doing a post on Saturdays until Shabbat ends. Now, onto the topic of this portion of the 275th blog post. Our science teacher thought that it would be fun to have a board game called “Zig Zag.” I don’t know his version of it, but here’s my version.(Note: This could be a game show on my blog, as well as a board game.) There’ll be a huge board with zig-zags all around it. One player will be the hunter, and the rest of the players will be deer. You have to “hide” on the board, and then you have to pick a card. If it says that the hunter finds you, too bad. Your game piece will be disqualified. The game piece who can hide the longest wins. Needless to say, this is some sort of warped hide-and-seek/hunting/any board game where you have to move game pieces combination.

The Structure of…What Happens in My Imagination When You Get A Tooth Taken Out(If you are scared of getting a tooth taken out, like me, do not read this next blog post.)

1.  The dentist locks you in a dungeon, and forces you to lie down. Then, he glues you to the floor.

2. Then, he takes a jackhammer/ pneumatic drill, and drills through your tooth.

3. He takes the tooth out. (In case you’re wondering, YES, I DID HAVE TROUBLE SLEEPING LAST NIGHT. Thank you for listening. Sorry if you have a dentist thing coming up soon.

Hey, Toothy! Oh, great. Karion’s here. You can’t do any more posts on this blog. Why? I still have at least 2 left. I haven’t been keeping track. For one thing, I want you to leave. I own this blog now. Also, you’re going to the dentist. I’m predicting that you’ll be so loopy from the medicine that you’ll forget about this blog which is now MINE!!!!!!! Drat. (S.E. Time!!!! <Sound Effects!!>Boot! Crash!!) That’s all for this post!!! Here’s the final comment, EVER, from Zarion. Oh, come on! Even Rat, from Pearls Before Swine is having a better day then me! Look! (His poor aunt.  )

Darn. The colors aren’t working. Oh well. YAY, Syrika! Let me get you up to date on what’s happening. Alfred E. Nueman just robbed us, Zarion and Tigerboy are getting our equipment back, and Lucky is stalling Happy from doing stupid things by making him count all of the grains of salt in this giant salt shaker. DONE! 9,000,000457,897,459,462,700. Hey, folks, it’s Syrika here, with another round of, “Nicknames for Numbskulls!” Actually, we’re still re-blogging old posts. You can wait for a minute or too.

“Pre-Made” Post: Illogical Math-CELEBRITY EDITION(as in, new people and old people being introduced, not celebrities.)Part 1

I have a special treat for you!!

ILLOGICAL MATH-CELEBRITY EDITION

Here’s our guests.

*Some Hobo (Gurgle. Hi. Burp. Snork.)

* Mrs. Valley Girl (I, like, love, this, like totally, cool, likelikelikelikelike, blog, like totally. Like.)

*Mr. Ponypants (I am a mad scientist! KABOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

*Mrs. Ponypants (Arnie, you take off that stupid suit and do the dishes!)

* Uncle Ponypants (I’m in this for the cash.)

*Cuddles (GIMME PEANUTS! Syrika knew that I was going to say that.)

* Mr. Ponypants Jr. (I wanna eat an ewephant.) (Cuddles says AAAAAAHHH in the third person!!!) That last statement was from Cuddles.

Anyway, here’s our show, well, Part 1 anyway. So, Mrs. Valley Girl. What’s pony-PONY!!!!!?? YYYYYAYYYYY!!!! Not now, Cuddles. As I was saying, what’s pony plus tomato minus frog?It’s. like, the, square, like, root, like, of, like, pi, like, also,-Times up! The answer was actually “lemon.” You’re out! Oh, by the way, if you get out, thwn you have to be teleported out by our technicians expert. Ready, Happy? Yup. (BBBBBZZZZZZTTTTTTTT!!!) Uh, Happy, that was the “Mars” button. You just sent Valley Girl to Mars. Who cares? Good point. Cuddles, your turn! Now, what’s pickle times eleventy-seven minus-SQUIRRELS!!!! You’re right, but I’m going to have to take off points for shouting out. Darn. Next!

To be continued……

Celebrity Game Show: Part 2

Hello, fans of the game show format! Here’s the next part of our wonderful game show! (In case you want to know why it’s a multi-parter, it’s because every time someone gets eliminated, I end it. I guess it’s sort of like Survivor, Total Drama World Tour,Total Drama Action, Total Drama Island, and commercials. (There. Are you happy, Syrika?)

Here’s the special challenge for this next section. We have to eat wacky foods. Wike an ewephant? No, Ponypants Jr. NOT like an elephant.  Anyway- -IF YOU TAKE ONE BITE OF ME, YOU DIE!!!Okay, that’s IT! Cuddles, put the flamethrower down. We can settle this peacefully. The first contestant is………………………………………….MMrs. Ponypants!!! Oh, why thank you. (Snort, snort. Boogers fall out, and slime oozes out.) Aw, shucks. What do I have to eat? Ground llama bits with essence of manure. WAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! YOU THINK THAT’S A CHALLENGE??!! I EAT THAT ALL THE TIME! She’s lying.Shut up, Junior. Gimme!! (Snorf, glarble, mobley rgrhglis g;ktwrgr, chomp.) Urp. Uh, I think that I-BBBBBLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Well, that’s it for this section. Come back for more Miscellaneous-ness! Bye!

100th Post Anniversary

3 Votes

Hey, peoples!!! (That’s a real word.) This is my hundredth blog post!!! Here’s some commentary from Syrika on this milestone. (Note: This isn’t the BIG thing. That’s coming later.:)) “YAHOOOOOOOO HUZZAHHHHHH!!! REJOICE!!!!!!!! I’M HUNGRY. No, really, I’m starving. GIMME FOOOOOOOOD!!!!! With love, from Syrika. Now go away. Talk to Zarion. FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!” Wow. That was….. interesting, to say the least.(No offense Syrika, go eat if you are hungry.) Now, here’s some commentary from Cuddles&Company.

Cuddles:Zary has a blog. Me wanna see it!! (Note: They are all babies, so you might hear some baby talk.) Oh, YOU MEAN I’M BEING QUOTED, AND EVERYONE CAN HEAR WHAT I’M SAYING RIGHT NOW? Oh, well in that case Zarion has his pajamas on inside out, and I LOVE peanuts.

Happy:EXTREME SPORTS WULE!!!!

Lucky: I’m on your bwog? WAHHH!!!!!!!! I’m scared!!! Also, I wike gah-dening. Googoo, go gaa. annana weewee.

Jeremy: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ(Note from Zarion:Wake up, Jeremy!!)

Now, here’s a story, that is based on a comic I once drew.

Ponies

Cuddles was walking in the park, sadly. “Sigh,” he thought,”I wish I could find apony to hug, love, and name George Finkleberry the Eleventy-Seventh of The Month of Ponyianscuddlesrules-Bobbyjoe.” Nearby, Happy was spying on Cuddles, and a prank formed in his cute little mind. Quickly, he gathered up Jeremy and Lucky, put them(and himself) into a pony costume. Cuddles saw the pony and SHRIEKED!! Now, even though this was an obvious pony costume, complete with patches, paint, and a tag that said “Happy’s Pony Costume” Cuddles, really wanted to hug the pony. Cuddles chased the “pony.” It ran. Cuddles chased. It ran. Cuddles chased. It ran. Cuddles caught up to Happy in the costume, and then Happy and Jeremy sensibly zipped open the pony costume. Lucky, on the other hand, didn’t use the zipper and simply ripped right through it. Cuddles yelled in terror when the costume opened up, and that’s, unfortunately, when the Animal Control officers came up. They took out a 50-foot long needle to tranquilize the 3 frightened still-in-costume babies. Obviously,another chase ensued. Cuddles, tried to help, but his “help” ended up with all four babies going to jail. As they were thrown into their cell, Cuddles said anxiously,”If you see Zawion, pwease tell him that I escaped from my bath, and locked the bathroom door.

The End

Ah, wasn’t that great? I think it was. Now, it’s time for a poem entitled Cuddles, which was, course, written by Cuddles himself.

Cuddles

I love peanuts! Oh, yes I do!!

I also love getting cuddled, it’s very true!!

Cuddles, cuddles, cuddles, cuddles, YEAH!

The End.

That was very, um, good,Cuddles. Well, now I’m not a philosopher, but I believe that reading a person’s blog can tell you about their mind. That means that I am TOTALLY INSANE!!!!!!!!!! MWU-HAH-HAH-HAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! To end this post here is a bunch of seemingly random words.

chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face Cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Genetics Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face monsters versus aliens garfield garfield and friends chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face Cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Genetics Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face monsters versus aliens garfield garfield and friends chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face Cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Genetics Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face Cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Genetics Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face monsters versus aliens garfield garfield and friends  Baby Sitters’ club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face monsters versus aliens garfield garfield and friends chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face Cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Genetics Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face monsters versus aliens garfield garfield and friends chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face Cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Genetics Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face monsters versus aliens garfield garfield and friends chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face Cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Genetics Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Read-my-blog ponies toilets Syrika Silicon

Finally. Anyway, as I was saying, here’s another round of “Nicknames for Numbskulls!” And the unlucky annoying thing in this round is……. Caillou!!!!!!!!! Right now, he is trapped in a giant glass pickle jar screaming for help in his annoying bratty baby lisp. Here are our lucky contestants:

Some Hobo: (wheeze, snurf) Hi. (haaaaack)

Mr. Enchilada: Hey, I’m new. Eat healthy and exercise! (He’s a health freak. Ironic, considering that enchiladas are not very  good for you.)

Li’l Miss Sunshine: I’m here to spread joy and happiness! Lalalalalalalallalalalalala

Uncle Ponypants: I’m in this for the cash. Gimme.

So, here we go! The first  contestant to think up a name for the dreaded Caillou is Some Hobo. Hi. (Snaaaark) By dabe fo Caillou (Hoork) is Pigstyou. (Whaarrk) Eww. Hairball. Look, (bLARK) it’s spongy. Pokie, pokie. Lick. Yummy. A little hairy. Wanna try? (Sneeze) I sdeezed od it. I hab a colb. Oooookay, interesting. Tell me why you chose the name “Pigstyou.” It was da only thig I could say without soudig fuddy. Fuddy? Sure why not. Next person-er, thing. Mr. Enchilada! Hi. My name was going to be Eat-Healthyyou, but I changed it to Caipoo. It’s a good thing you did-Uh, I mean- Nice name! I like it. Next! Just one more thing. Remember to-Yeah, we know. Eat healthy and  exercise. NEXT!!!!!! Li’l Miss Sunshine! Hi! My name is, “Nicey-nice lovable boy!” Yippee! WHAT!?! WHAT?!? WHAT!?! WHAT?!? Yep! Remember, be happy! To be quite frank, that was awful Even Pigstyyou is better. (snononooperjhfekhf) Hey! Who’s next? Ah, Uncle Ponypants. I’m not your uncle. Why does everyone call me that? Sheesh. Anyway, my name is Grimyou. Why not? He’s a grimy little wiener. It’s worthy of a cash prize. Really. Seriously, hand over that green stuff! Raaaah!!!!!!!!! Enough! You’ll get a prize if you win. Now, the judges will evaluate the winner. The judges are me, Caillou, The Grim Reaper Cookie, and Li’l Mutton. Now we will decide. (Crash. Whisper, whisper, Gross! How about _____?  Noo!!! I don’t want a winner. I want my mommy!!! Okay, let’s do_______ Agreed? Good. Unanimous!) Okay, the winner is…. Some Hobo!!!!

Really? (sneeze, snaaaarkkles) REALLY? Yeah,  I WOLKSDFK.GLBH WON! haaaaaaackhjlf Woooooo!  And the winner…. Does NOT get to hurt Caillou! WHAT? Yes! Instead, the winner gets to torture the incredibly annoying……… To be continued!

Cuddles is back. Those were the first two sections. “Old Game Shows”and “New Game Shows.” Cuddles’s  favorite part was when Some Hobo got scratched by an angry cat right before the show started. He’s mutating and he has a cold. Cuddles also likes speaking in the first person. Hi. I’m back. Our equipment is back, and MAD Magazine is apologizing for Alfred E. Nueman’s thievery. Ahem. Oh, right. And now, the bloopers! Awhile back, Miscellaneous Soup Inc. wanted to do a quiz show. We gathered up the people most likely to read this blog, and asked them if they wanted to see a game show. Our top Blog-reader-People Finder(a.k.a. Happy) randomly gathered up people from the street. Among those are…..Some Hobo, a wild dingo, twelve escaped criminals, three stooge-type people, Jughead Jones, Archie Andrews, an angry mob, Dora the Explorer, Mr. Ponypants, a duck, and a partridge in a pear tree. To put it bluntly, everybody thought it would be bad idea. So, we did it anwway!!! Here’s the stupid answers our lucky contestants gave in the Miscellaneous Soup Quiz Show! Or, to put it shortly, the MSQS.

Q: What is a pony?

A: A thing that barks.

Q: What is the  capital of Iowa?

A: France.

Q: Who is Zarion?

A: A tree.

….And  as I was saying, the person who Some Hobo the winner gets to torture is………Li’l Miss Sunshine!!!!!! What????? Noooo! Oh, yes!!! Hahahahahaha!!! The second winner gets to torture Caillou! And that would be……… You, Mr. Enchilada, of course! ‘Caipoo’ is genius, but ‘Pigstyou’ is even geniuser! Congrats! And now, Uncle Ponypants, as a consolation prize, you have the honors of reaching into The Bucket O’ Torture to find out what Li’l Miss Annoying here gets to do! Do I get paid to do it? No. Dang. And the torturement is…. You are locked in a padded cell with sad music playing and a minature raincloud pouring rain, snow, and

hail on you  wherever you try to go! Won’t that be fun? Noooooo!!!!!! The sadness1 I’m not supposed to be sad! I’m gonna… gonna…. BOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!! She spontaniously combusted. Wheee! While we call an ambulance to pick up the raining pieces of Li’l Miss Sunshine falling everywhere, Uncle Ponypants will choose what Mr. Enchilada gets to do to Caillou! Get me out of here! Uncle Ponypants, if you please….. Ah! Good punishment. And it is….. Getting his soul sucked out by The Grim Reaper Cookie! Mwahahahahahaha. I will finally have someone’s soul. AIEEEEEEEEEEEEE SJFKJNVGGH. Mwahahahahaha. I have no soul. What (snooork)  about me? I didn’t get to (hoooonk) do anything. LMS spontaniously combusted. You get to put her back together, tickle her to pieces with a Tickler 5000, put her together again, and THEN stuff her in a padded cell with a rain cloud, sad music, and as a bonus, Justin Bieber singing! Noo!!!!! Why me! Not Justin Bieber! What have I done to deserve this? All I’ve done was run around singing stupid songs! That’s your problem. Alright, join us next time, folks, for another episode of ‘Nicknames for Numbskulls!’ hosted by Syrika Kreena! See you later! Bye! Syrika out.

We’re back. I’m in a grey color this time, because I’m exhausted from singing “We’re Floating in a Ship; Rumpa, Rumpa, Rumpa.” I’m sorry, but Tigerboy can’t be here right now. He remembered that the transcript for the Phineas and  Ferb parody isn’t here yet. I’ll do it tomorrow, maybe. It’s time for an energy recharge.

Zarion out.

Lost and Found

Hello. Syrika speaking. Zarion is letting me do a post. This post is about something lost, and something found. First, I lost…… A TOOTH!!!!! Here is a picture of where my tooth used to be.

What a honker!

I’m weird, huh?  Anyway, on to the found part of this post.. In honor of Story Month, I’m telling you the story of what happened. Last night, we (My family and I) were at Red Robins, Zarion’s favorite restaurant. There was a gumball machine.I asked if I could have one. (A gumball, I mean.) Mom politely said, “NO!!!!!!” (Note: This story is slightly changed to make it funnier.) So, I started to look for loose change. First, I looked under an arcade claw machine. I found….. a pony. Just kidding. A QUARTER!!!!!!!!!! That’s how I got my white gumball. It wasn’t coconut, thankfully. It was a delicious fruity flavor. I’m not showing it to you, because a tooth-hole is gross enough, but a chewed-up piece of gum is going way over the limits. Oh, well.

Sensational Superclub #13: Mysterio’s House of Horrors!

Mysterio’s House of Horrors!

It all started with Tigerboy’s “Gadget Safety” lessons. Oops, I’m starting in the middle again. Well,  that’s par for the course. Sorry, here’s the beginning.

Part One: T.F.T. (Training For Tigerboy)It was a beautifully sunny day, and everything was perfect. That is, except for one thing. Tigerboy was pretending to be a mad scientist. This was incredibly bad, because, even though Electrickid had warned him not to mess around with any inventions, Tigerboy just wouldn’t listen. During the “Mad Scientist” game, Tigerboy basically went into Electrickid’s lab and tried to figure out how the inventions worked, and what they did. One day, he found a weird machine with a little lightning bolt on it, and a sign that said, “Do not touch, or you will risk serious harm.” Tigerboy did what any self-respecting, curious, peson would do. He touched it.

SSSZZZCRACKLE! Apparently, the machine was an electricity generator. Over the next few days, Tigerboy kept finding inventions like these everywhere in Dreamyland. The soft pretzel shop, the bookstore, Steve’s Balls O’ Yarn/Steve’s String Shop, and even the local comic book shop. Finally, Tigerboy decided to ask Electrickid why he was making these weird(and painful) inventions.

“It’s simple, really.” Electrickid said. “I’m trying to get you to stop fiddling around with my gadgets.”

“Well, isn’t there anyway that I can fond out how they work?” Tigerboy asked.

“Actually,” Electrickid replied. “There is. You can be my I.A. (Inventions Assistant!)”  And so, Tigerboy was cured of his tendency to fiddle around with inventions, and all was well. Or was it? You see, one of the inventions activated a teleportation device in the Marvel Universe. That, of course, led to consequences that no one, not even Electrickid could predict. Mysterio was coming to Dreamyland! (Cue lightning flashes, scary music, someone screaming, and a monkey eating a banana shaped like a mongoose.)

Part Two: The House In Dreamyland Is Neatly In The Street(and it’s not getting hit!) The next day, a distress call came over the Vidistress 5000. The Vidistress instantly showed a video of whatever was going on. Electrickid had made it, so the Superclub could stop crimes faster. Tigerboy was the first one to see it. “Hey, what’s this?” he said. Then, the rest of the Superclub saw it.

“This is unbelievable! Wow!” Boulderboy said. “There’s a giant house right in the middle of the street, and it’s not getting hit! The cars are just going right through it!”

“Let’s go investigate.” Switchboy replied.

When the Superclub got to the house, there was, well, nothing. No houses could be seen on the street at all. Then, a neon green light swept over the Superclub, and they vanished! The people in the cars could see that. What’s going on? (Be patient, Superclub fans. Soon, the action will begin!! ☺ ☺ ☹ ☺ )

The Superclub appeared in an ordinary-looking house. “What’s going on-AAAAAHHHHH!” Tigerboy’s sentence was cut off as twelve dozen spider popped up! Quickly, Tigerboy tried to run away, but as if by magic, five dozen spiders sprung up over there, too! After that, the spiders disappeared, but twenty-five ghosts surrounded the Superclub! Switchboy tried to turn one of the ghosts into something harmless, but the rainbow-colored beam evaporated! “Tigerboy!” Switchboy quickly said. “Plan Q!”

“Which one?” Tigerboy replied.

“Plan QQ!”

Quickly, Tigerboy pulled out the Magic Pencil, and started drawing a giant hole right underneath the Superclub. Then, they all fell down, into the dark abyss, so they could escape from the ghosts. “We should be safe down here.” Waterboy said.

“Uh, I think you should look at this.” Tigerboy said nervously.

“Hey, maybe we can somehow use the Portalrays.” Rubberboy said.

“I really think that you should look at this.” Tigerboy said.

“Well, no matter what,” Magmaboy said, “We should definitely be safe down here.”
“HEY!” Tigerboy said. “LOOK OVER HERE!!!” The rest of the Superclub looked. A bunch of eerie, green eyes were staring back at them. Da-da-DUM!!

Part Three: Finally.……Mysterio’s House of Horrors! While Tigerboy was slowly backing away from the neon green eyes, a trapdoor opened up, right underneath him! “Aaaaahhh!” he screamed. THUMP!! Tigerboy had landed in a long corridor lined with seemingly endless rows of identical brown doors. “Maybe one of these doors can help me find the rest of the Superclub. After all, if this is a fun house, then anything is possible.” HE picked the nearest door. HONK! HONK!!! CHUGGA-CHUGGA CHOO CHOO! Tigerboy quickly slammed the door shut, and backed away from the door just in case the train suddenly barreled out of it. “Hmm. I wonder what’s in this door.” Clash, bang, boom! CLATTER!!! “Oh, come on! A bunch of pots and pans?!” Suddenly, Tigerboy spotted a small pink door. “Oh, this door must be the right one. After all, it’s different from the other doors.” HONK, HONK!!! BOOM!!!!! “Why, me? Why, me?” Tigerboy moaned as he got out from under the ruined, passenger-less train. “Oh well. At least my special resistance saved me. At least the train didn’t have dynamite in it. That’s really annoying. Oh, yeah, bazookas are annoying, too. Especially sand-hammer bazookas.(See issue 3)” While Tigerboy was anxiously talking to himself, some very weird things were happening to the rest of the Superclub!

“It’s been at least five hours, but we still can’t find Tigerboy!” Rubberboy grumped. “This haunted house isn’t that big, is it?” Almost as if to answer his question, a map popped up. The map revealed…nothing. It was blank except for a message that said “This ‘haunted house’ is as big as infinity.”

“That was definitely weird. Do you think that this house is responding to our thoughts?” Rubberboy asked.

“Ha, ha, ha. Wherever did you get that ridiculous idea?” A piercing voice filled the room.

Quickly, the sensational Superclub tried to find the voices’s owner, but nobody was there. Then, the zombies came.

Part 3.5: Breaking The Fourth Wall 101- Taught by Professor Tigerboy Meanwhile, with the unfortunate Tigerboy.…… “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!” Tigerboy was being chased by an unusual assortment of creatures, including a snake with the head of a spider, a spider with the head of a bug, and a bug with the head of a snake. Did I mention that they were all 10 feet tall, at the minimum? Quickly, Tigerboy tried to run into a nearby sorridor, but it was a dead end! “Hey, did you have to say ‘dead’?” Tigerboy said, annoyed. WAIT!! STOP TALKING TO ME WHEN I’M NARRATING YOUR ADVENTURES! SHEESH, IT’S HARD ENOUGH WHEN I’M TRYING TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN FROM A VIDEO TRANSCRIPT! HOW DID YOU MAKE A VIDEO, ANYWAY? AND WHEN DID YOU LEARN HOW TO BREAK THE FOURTH WALL??!! ALSO, WHY AM I YELLING!!!!!!!??????

“Trade secret, doc. Can you hurry it up a little? I really want to get to the Dance Dance Revolution part-” STOP REVEALING THE PLOT!!!!!!!

Anyway, Tigerboy suddenly had Han idea.

“Hey, I know what to do! I’ll just draw a giant hole with my magic pencil and jump out of here!” Having said that, he quickly leapt into the giant, magical hole and landed.……right on top of the weird creatures that were chasing him earlier?

“I knew that I should have called in sick today.” Tigerboy muttered as the monsters tied him up.

Nearby, the rest of the Superclub suddenly fell into another secret trap-door, and finally met the person behind all of this seemingly magical mystery….Mysterio!

Part 4: Death By Dancing!!!! “Hello, Superclub. It is a sure sign of your lesser intellect that you didn’t realize that it was me earlier. I somehow came to Dreamyland when a strange contraption sent me through time and space.”

“I knew that there was one machine that I had forgotten to disable.” Electrickid said.

“Quiet, you foolish blooperhero. Now, I shall dispose of you as only Mysterio can!” Quickly, he pulled back a curtain to reveal some Dance Dance Revolution games and some headsets.

“Dance Dance Revolution?” Tigerboy said. “Isn’t that kind of, well, goofy? Judging from the Spider-Man comics, this isn’t your style at all.”

“Look, will you just get into the machines already? Do I really have to use the robots?” Mysterio pulled a nearby lever that was on the wall, and several “CaptureBots” forcibly dumped the Superclub into an unbreakable glass cage with the Dance Dance Revolution games.

“Oh, and in response to your insipid question-” Mysterio’s voice slowly turned into a sneer. “This is rather childish and stupid, because I borrowed from the Joker of Universe Z.M.K.S.’s Brillium Quantum Dance Contest of Death, otherwise know as the U.’s Z.M.K.S.’s B.Q.D.C.O.D. You will be forced to dance in these contraptions for however long you can last, and when the last person standing stops dancing- YOU WILL BE VAPORIZED!!! Mwuahahaha! Oh, and you will be shocked with energy blasts every 30 seconds. Now, dance!” And with that, he turned on the deadly invention!!!

Part 5: Death By Dancing(For Real This Time) Hurriedly, the sensational Superclub did every type of dance that they could think of-staying on the arrows, of course. By far, Rubberboy was the best dancer of them all, due to his amazing ability to stretch himself into different shapes. The second best dancer might be Tigerboy, but nobody’s sure about that. Hey, if you did an excellent robot dance while in Robot Tiger form, would it still count? Hmmm? Anyway, so far everyone has dropped out of the contest, except for Tigerboy and Rubberboy. Just then, a particularly fierce bolt of energy made Rubberboy stop dancing. (You would also stop dancing of a bolt of energy hit you in the head, don’t try to deny it!) Now, it was up to Tigerboy.

“Speed round!” Mysterio suddenly exclaimed. “And you’ll be eliminated if you turn into Speedy Tiger!” While in Robot Tiger form, Tigerboy started to dance as fast as he could in the aforementioned form! Sparks were flying, the machine was counting the points as fast as it could, more spark were flying, more numbers were being counted down, even more sparks were flying, even more numbers were being counted, a ridiculous amount of sparks were flying, a ridiculous amount of numbers were being counted, sparks, numbers, sparks, nparks, sumbers, parks, Hummers, ponies, pants, Miscellaneous, Soup’s, blog, by, Zarion, Kreena, is, good, (“Hey, hurry it up, Narrator!” Tigerboy shouted. “I think I’m starting to melt! Also, who put those words about someone’s blog in there?” Well, Tigerboy. It’s because Zarion Kreena is trying to put in a signal for help. His blog has been taken over by his evil duplicate, Karion. “Oh, Zarion! Hey, I’ve been a contestant on some of his game shows! The very first one, in fact. Okay, you can finish the tale now. I can’t stand one more page of melting and sparking!” Sheesh. I’m going as fast as I can. Okay, who wants me to slow down? <We do!!!!!!> Oh. Stupid editors.) Anyway, the dance machine suddenly exploded from the fleetness of Tigerboy’s dancing, a net sprang out, and Mysterio was captured. Then, because Mysterio was captured, the “haunted house” disappeared, and the Superclub found themselves in the same alley, Mysterio was sent back to the Marvel Comics universe, and all was well.

OR WAS IT???!!!

You see, the Superclub had forgotten to destroy the machine. Will it return, or will some other dastardly villain use it? Stay tuned! (Cough, cough! Issue 16!!! ☺ Cough, cough! Hack, hack! Giddyup, Little Slicer!! Hack, hack! ☺)

THE END

Wait, wait! This isn’t over yet! This tale is themed around an unimportant holiday that I call HALLOWEEN!!!!!!! Here’s three Halloween bonuses!

Appendix/Bonus 1: The Structure of.…… The Superclub’s Annual Halloween PArty

1. Find incredibly scary movie to watch.

2. Make popcorn. (A lot of it, because, well, I’ll explain it in an analogy. Electrickid is to popcorn as Tigerboy is to pretzels. To put in layman’s terms, Electrickid LOVES popcorn.)

3. Tell Tigerboy about the scary movie.

4. Try to catch Tigerboy, as he runs away screaming, “You’ll never take me alive, coppers!”

5. Lure Tigerboy out of his hiding spot with some pretzels and a giant fan.

6. With Tigerboy in a tiny(3 cm long) kitty cage(VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU HIDE THE KEY), watch the movie. *Note: Put a magic bag of pretzels in there, that will never run out, and earmuffs for the scary parts.

7. Turn the Superclub’s clubhouse into a scary, spooky, haunted house.

8. Repeat steps 3-6, only with the haunted house.

Appendix/Bonus 2: A message from Tigerboy. “HHHEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!! THERE’S MONSTERS IN THE MOVIE!!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME???!! IF ANYONE CAN HELP ME WITH THIS, I’LL BE ETERNALLY GRATEFUL!!!!!”

Appendix/Bonus 3: Another message from Tigerboy. “YYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! NOW THEY’RE DOING THE HAUNTED HOUSE!!! SAVE ME!!!!!”

THE END(for real this time)

Next Issue: Superclub, Super-Babies, Super Fun!! The Spectacular Super-Babies! Not the Superclub turned into babies, but apparently they are related to Zarion Kreena, who has escaped from his cage. But, I digress.  Basically, the Superclub and Super-Babies are teaming up to stop Mr. Mean-Macaroni and his sidekick-Rose Giant!  You DO NOT want to miss this issue!!!!

“Pre-Made” Post #2: The Adventures of Two Shoes In Love

A Pathetic Play, by Zarion Kreena.

Cast of Characters:

*Bobby Shoe

*Jane Sneaker

* Nike, the Usher

* Billybob the Person Who Performs The Marriage Ceremony

ACT ONE/1

Narrator: This is the beginning of our short tale.

Bobby Shoe: I love you, Jane Sneaker.

Jane Sneaker: I love you too, Bobby Sneaker. Let’s get married!

Bobby Shoe: Yay!

At the wedding chapel….

Bobby Shoe: Excuse me, Mr. Usher. We’re the bride and groom.

Nike the Usher: Oh, sorry. I thought you were gatecrashers. My name is Nike, by the way.

Billybob the Person Who Performs The Wedding Ceremony: I now pronounce you shoe and sneaker!

Everyone: Hooray!

What Happened Next: Mr. (Bobby) Shoe took his shoe, and stepped on the glass, but, alas, the glass broke. What a joke, and, alas, instead of laughing we all heard “Boo-Hoo.”

Narrator: And they all lived happily ever after in their little shoe house which is built by the Adidas shoe construction company. (Note: The house was soon bought by a little old lady with a lot of kids.)

Credits:

Nouns “Shoes” and “Love” made by The Rating Gorilla

Plot by Zarion Kreena

K.F.L. (Karion’s Fine Literature) Part 2 “Now, they’re 100% more half-baked!!”

21. Bob ate a giant hoagie (sandwich). Bob had stomach troubles. Bob now has diarrhea.

22. I ate a Kit-Kat bar. It was good.

23. Julia Child is a famous chef. Even though she eats a lot of butter, she has lived to the ripe age of 93.

24. Purim is fun. There’s a lot of costumes.

25. Joey once stuck his face into a blender, just to see what would happen. Now, Joey is in room 3856 of the Hospital for Stupid People. (Note: If you find this disgusting,  sue Zarion. Please.

26. Mr. Ponypants  is weird. Cool.

27. Hi.

28. Joe was a fireman. He once accidentally set a house on fire, instead of putting another house’s fire out. By the way, this is the same person from #13. He changed his name.

29. Two more people went to the movie with teenager-eating slugs. The police went to search for them. They couldn’t be found  either.

30. Thee writre forre thisssw3 storieeee ise aa bahdde spllr. Hee ise inkreddibleey hoorribel. I shud hav himme firedde.

31. I ate a walrus. The tusks hurt.

32. Jimmy was lazy. He didn’t do his homework, and spent his time blogging about cheese, ponies, and how Zarion Kreena is stupid.(Note: Jimmy is Karion’s third uncle on his mother’s side twenty-times removed.) Jimmy was eaten by a hyperactive dodo bird for this. Remember, kids, don’t act like Jimmy.

33. I like ponies.

34.

35. In the earlier story, I had writer’s block/

36.

37.

38.

39.

40. I hate writer’s block.

This is for Syrika,who’s sick with a bad fever. I hope this cheers you up!!

The Mongoose Story

Mongoose mongoose mongoose mongoose mongoose mongoose mongoose mongoose mongoose mongoose mongoose mongoose mongoose mongoose mongoose mongoose mongoose mongooses mongooses mongooses mongooses mongooses mongooses mongooses mongooses mongooses mongooses mongooses mongooses mongooses mongooses mongooses mongooses mongooses mongooses mongooses mongooses mongeese mongeese mongeese mongeese mongeese mongeese mongeese mongeese mongeese mongeese mongeese mongeese mongeese mongeese mongeese mongeese mongeese mongeese mongeese mongeese mongeeses mongeeses mongeeses mongeeses mongeeses mongeeses mongeeses mongeeses mongeeses mongeeses mongeeses mongeeses mongeeses mongeeses mongeeses mongeeses mongeeses mongeeses mongeeses mongeeses

And a bonus… monpoodle!

Karion’s Fine Literature (K.F.L.) Part 1

Hello, I want to put some culture and fine literature into this rag. So, here’s 101 of Karion’s Stupidly Weird Stories, which is another phase in my gradual plan to destroy, uh, I mean, change this pitiful blog.

Story #1: Bob went to the store. He bought marshmallows. He went home.

Story #2: Joe ate a garden hose. It turned him into a toad-eating mongoose.

Story #3: Syrika kept laughing at the word “mongoose.” I turned her into a mongoose. She’s laughing right now.

Story #4: Billybob-JoeMcStinkyPAnts’s name was embarrassing. He changed it to OhnoIjustwetmypants.

Story #5: The dod ate a bone. His owner had to get a new arm bone. Ouch.

Story #6: I ate hot dogs and pickles. I was happy. I burped.

Story #7: Tim’s pants were on fire. He couldn’t find a hose. To be continued…

Story #8: Tim found a large barrel. He dumped it over his body. It was liquid nitrogen. Poor Tim.

Story #9: Jim liked flowers. He sniffed one. A giant bee came out, and stung him repeatedly.

Story #10: Mary once ate 100 lemons in a row. Now, her face is stuck in a “Sour Face.”

Story #11: Bobby ate a bee. His insides were stung so much, that he started to swell up like a balloon. Then, he popped. The bees survived.

Story #12: Joe, Tim, and Igor all went to the new 3-D movie, Attack of the Teenager-Eating Slugs. Only some shoes and a pile of slime could be found.

Story #13: Dirk was a fireman. He was bad at his job. Once, he burned Kool-Aid at a water convention,and couldn’t find anything to use for putting out the fire.

Story #14: George was a reckless baby orangutang. He ran out into the street to see what would happen. Poor George.

Story #15:  Agnes wanted to get rid of her pimples. Agnes used a flamethrower. As you can see, Agnes isn’t very bright.

Story #16: Bobby Joe wanted to eat a pineapple. So, Bobby Joe ate a pineapple. We’re still trying to get the thorns out of her.

Story #17: I ate a pretzel. I thought it was good. I ate another one.

Story #18: Michael’s pants were slowly being devoured. Michael should never have bought the wooden pants, underwear, shirt, and socks.

Story  #19: Jimmy licked a monkey. The monkey ate him. Poor Jimmy, the zookeepers have warned him five times already about the dangers of licking monkeys.

Story #20: Zoe decided to swim in the local swimming pool. Unfortunately, she didn’t pay attention to the “Pool Being Drained” sign. She thought that it was a joke. Zoe isn’t very bright,either.

Hey, it’s me, Zarion! I managed to escape from my cage using a paperclip! Here’s the next Superclub story!!

Attack of the….Dust Bunnies?

“It was a bright and sunny afternoon. Everything was perfect. The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, squirrels were frolicking everywhere, and giant dust bunnies with a crazy-looking man were attacking Dreamyland. Wait, they were attacking Dreamyland? This looks like a job for the sensational Superclub-” Tigerboy’s voice trailed off. “Tigerboy, will you please stop narrating this mission?!?” Switchboy asked. “It’s getting kind of annoying, and Mr. Evilfeet is getting away! Also, the chicken suit is really distracting.” Quickly, the Superclub tried to catch up with Mr. Evilfeet, but it tends to be hard when the person you’re chasing is riding a giant dust bunny, especially when, like Tigerboy, you have allergies to wool, dust, and other assorted things. “Wachoo!” See? I told you! Okay, back to our fine tale! Mr. Evilfeet quickly whispered a secret command into a dust bunny’s ear. The Superclub gasped in shock when they saw what happened next. The dust bunnies had sprouted jet packs, and were flying away!!! But wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. Why is Mr. Evilfeet attacking Dreamyland with giant dust bunnies? Why is Tigerboy narrating in a chicken suit? And, who, for Zarion’s sake, is Mr. Evilfeet anyway? To find out the answer to at least two of those marvelous questions, we must take a trip back in time. Five months should do the trick.

Five years ago, in Dreamyland’s Geranium Falls Laboratory… Mr. Velfet was sitting in a chair, conducting a very complicated and convoluted experiment. He was fervently pressing buttons on a typewriter, and scribbling notes. “Yes! Yes! I finally have the perfect formula that will allow brains to grow bigger. Now, I shall test it out!” He walked over to an odd machine with a number of levers and buttons. Mr. Velfet quickly puts the helmet on his head, pushed a green button… and screamed!!!!!!! The helmet was literally molding his brain! “Hahaha.” he giggled madly. “Now, I shall be known as Mr. Evilfeet!”

Back in present time… Mr. Evilfeet suddenly whips around and throws a net grenade at the Superclub, instantly tangling them up. “Ha, ha!” he cried. “Now, I’ve got you!” Then, he made another dust bunny get morph into a jet pack, and take the Superclub to his lair!!

In the abandoned “Sam’s Sweet Sweets/Larry’s Chocolate Emporium O’ Goodness.” Instantly, a bright light glared down onto the Superclub. They were tied onto a conveyer belt that, by the look of it, had gone into disrepair. Old chocolate stains, rust, and little bits of styrofoam were everywhere.  “Hello, Superclub.” Mr. Evilfeet said calmly. “As you can see, there is no hope of escape for any of you. The binds are incredibly thick, I doubt that even the Hulk would be able to escape! As soon as I flick this switch, the conveyer belt will make sure that you are turned into some very delicious chocolate. While your bodies are going through that chemical change(which can neutralize all of your insipid powers), I shall finally unleash my plan for world domination!!!The bomb will explode you, and Dreamyland! Yay!! You seem to be bright people, except for the striped one, so you shall undoubtably realize that my giant dust bunnies were a ruse. They are simply there to distract people with endless sneezes, while my nuclear bombs turn Dreamyland into a wasteland! Now, hasta la vista, Superflub! Hahahaha!” Quickly, he put on a jet pack and raced out of the building, setting off the nuclear bombs!

Quickly, the Superclub went into action! The bombs were timed, so they might be able to make it out! Switchboy quickly put Operation: Nuclear Chocolate into effect! Rubberboy strained to get one of his arms out of the binds! When he succeeded, he took one of the bombs and threw it into the conveyer belt’s path, thereby turning the bombs into harmless chocolate! Then, Tigerboy quickly turned into Robot Tiger, and pushed the “Self Destruct” button! He exploded, landing on top of the second nuclear bomb and making all of the binds fly of off the Superclub! Then, he began to reform slowly, not noticing that the second(and final)nuclear bomb was about to go off! Switchboy quickly tried to turn the bomb into a different object, but it was too late! The bomb exploded with a ferocious blast! Electrickid had thrown a force field over the rest of the Superclub, but it was too late for Tigerboy. Or was it? A small robot quickly scrambled out of the rubble, saying, “Never again. I think that my bomb/TNT/miscellaneous other things resistance might not survive another blast!” Then, he turned into Miniature Tiger(his regular form)and got out of the building with the rest of the Superclub! “What?!” Mr. Evilfeet exclaimed. “How did you get out of the trap? Well, it doesn’t matter now! You’re toast!” He quickly made all of the dust bunnies morph into one huge laser! “Sayanora, Superclub!” The laser suddenly sent out a huge cloud of…dust? “NO!!” Mr. Evilfeet wailed. “My dust bunnies failed me! I should have set the nuclear bombs to explode right after I left instead of waiting! NO!!!”

Now, dear readers, I must tell you why Tigerboy was narrating. It all started with a bet he had made with Magmaboy just five minutes before Mr. Evilfeet’s rampage began. Magmaboy was making his famous “X-tra Spicy Chili Peppers of Spiciness!!!”, and Tigerboy said, “Hey, Magmaboy, what would happen if you ate 4 tiny cups of you extra spicy chili  sauce?”

Magmaboy replied, “I would be able to eat them easily, because of my fire power.”

Tigerboy said, “What about my resistance? That should help me.  I’ll make a bet with you. If I can eat 4 extra-large cups of chili, and not stop, then you have to wear a clown suit for the next 3 weeks. And if you win, I’ll wear the clown suit for the next three weeks.”

“No way.”Magmaboy said. “You actually like wearing that clown suit. How about this? You’ll have to narrate everything for the next five weeks in a chicken suit, and not eat pretzels for five and a half weeks. Deal?”

“Deal!” Tigerboy said, confident that he could pull it off. He quickly ate some salsa…and stopped suddenly. Quickly, he tried to finish the rest of it, but it was too late. BBBBBOOOOOOOMMM-FOOOSSSHHHHH!!! With a deafening bang, he turned into a miniature volcano! “HOTHOTHOTHOTHOT!!!! AAAAAYYYYYIIIIIIIIII!!! HOTHOTHOTHOT!!!!” Tigerboy yelled. “Okay. You win. Oh, ow! Still hot!! YYYAAAHHH!!!”

THE END

Superclub Story #11

It’s a Bird…It’s a Plane.… It’s …Huh? The Supermenagerie?

Dreamyland quickly gasps in horror when the Anti-Superclub turns the Superclub into animals! Well, that’s technically not true, I guess. Tigerboy is simply trapped in Miniature Tiger form. Oh well, you still don’t want to miss this latest episode in the lives of the Superclub that will drive you zooey! (Pun intended.)

The Anti-Superclub members were leading the Superclub members on a wild chase! “YOU’ll NEVER CATCH US!” they shouted! Quickly, Anti-Waterboy tossed another sack of money out of Anti-Switchboy.(He had turned into a helicopter.) Then, Waterboy’s evil duplicate drenched them with a wave worthy of a tsunami! Switchboy quickly retaliated by turning into a super-sized hose!(With a special helicopter attachment so the rest of the Superclub wouldn’t fall down onto the cold, hard, cement, rock-solid ground!) Their best efforts weren’t enough to stop the villains, though. With a sonic-powered turbo-thruster-boost/rocket powered laser beam blast, the Anti-Superclub zoomed away, while zapping our heroes in an eerie, rainbow-ish light!

“Oh,”Tigerboy groaned as he regained consciousness. “Hey! Why am I in an alleyway, with a bunch of animals? As far as I know, Animalboy wasn’t here! Of course, he can’t turn other people into animals. Wait, that weird ray! It must have turned the rest of the Superclub  into animals!!!”

WE INTERRUPT THIS SUPERCLUB STORY FOR A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT. Here’s the new Superclub members.

*Tigerboy(He’s already a Miniature Tiger. Specifically, he’s only six inches.)

*Electricbunny

*Switchdeer

*Boulderduck

*Waterchicken

*Magmapony

*Glueplatypus(Platypuses are funny.)

*Rubbercow

WE NOW RETURN TO THE REGULARLY SCHEDULED STORY!

Tigerboy rushed over to the various assortment of animals, formerly known as the Superclub. “Are you okay?” The responses were various quacks, moos, growls, and other assorted things. Also, Tigerboy had to run away from Magmapony and Switchdeer for fear of being trampled! “Oh, no!” he thought to himself. “They must have gained the animals’ personalities! They don’t recognize me or their powers!! It must not have affected me, because I’m already an animal! I guess that I’ll be going solo, tonight!” Tigerboy quickly used the Portalray to get himself and the animals back to their house. Then, he quickly grabbed a secret weapon(while avoiding Waterchicken’s beak after accidentally getting pecked once or twice)and started to find the Anti-Superclub’s lair!

Tigerboy’s plan was simple. He would disguise himself as a lamb using the Switchray(because if the Anti-Superclub saw him. they would just assume that he was one of the Superclub members who had aimlessly drifted over their)and find the invention that would change the rest of the Superclub to normal! Then, he would use the secret weapon he brought to make sure that the Anti-Superclub would not be able to get revenge on them…at least for a couple of days!

When Tigerboy finally found the Anti-Superclub’s fortress, it took practically all of his willpower not to gasp in horror! It was a huge building, made out of metal, and robot guards with laser cannons were patrolling every area, and if he so much as took one step closer, KFT(Kentucky Fried Tigerboy)would be on the dinner menu! Quickly, Tigerboy grabbed his weapon, pulled out the pin, and speedily turned into Speedy Tiger(a tiger with super speed)and ran away! BOOM!!! Instantly, all of the robots were covered with bubble gum and short-circuiting! “So far,” Tigerboy thought. “my plan has been a success. Sure, I’ve completely blown my cover, and will probably be vaporized by more robots, most likely in the thousands, but my plan is still a success. Hmm, maybe I should re-think that.” Tigerboy burrowed through the ground, and popped up in a room filled with all sorts of inventions, test tubes, beakers, chemicals, and giant robots coming toward him with laser beams the size of a large tree trunk. “Wait, what was that last thing?” Tigerboy thought, but it was too late. The robots had already fired!

As the laser beams came toward Tigerboy, he(still in Speedy Tiger form)quickly grabbed another G.G.(Gum Grenade) and tossed it at the laser beams, while dodging the already fired blasts! The robots’ weapons suddenly swell to the size of overgrown boulders, and exploded with a huge popping noise, spattering gum everywhere, also, unfortunately, on Tigerboy.

Anti-Rubberboy quickly rushed into the destroyed inventions room. “What’s all that noise? Has that stupid, weird Anti-Tigerboy been playing with the nuclear firecrackers AGAIN!!!???” As you can see, certain members of the Anti-Superclub were on horrible terms. Suddenly, his eyes found Tigerboy. “Well, well, well, well, well, well-” One of the robots whacked him. (Some of the duplicates have minor functioning errors, such as continuously repeating a word.) “Sorry, robots. As I was saying, well, well, well. What have we here? A little nuisance spy.” He leaned closer to Tigerboy. “Do you know what we’re going to have to do with you?” Tigerboy responded, “Mmmph, grh w iyue yy momuble, mumble, mmmph.”

“No, you little runt! We are not going to give you pretzels! Stop being sarcastic!”

“Mmmph, pmmppf-mpph.”

“Oh, there you go again. Being sarcastic! Get your miniscule mind off of pretzels!!! Anyways, we are going to turn you into an animal, using our new weapon. It can turn animals into other animals! And if you say that it’s redundant somehow, I will personally tear that gum of off you. Painfully.” Tigerboy didn’t want to get the gum viciously torn off, so he stayed quiet and tried to think of a plan.

The testing room was dark, wet, and smelled as if one thousand clones of Cuddles had tooted in there, made “Stinky Gumbo Surprise”(a smellier version of a disgusting recipe called Gumbo Surprise), and then died in there. Actually, Tigerboy wouldn’t be surprised if that was true. Cuddles, a superhero who he had teamed up with before(see the upcoming issue 14), was reckless, silly, and weird. Basically, like himself, except in baby elephant form. The rotten door creaked open and Anti-Electrickid walked in, smirking. “I see that Anti-Rubberboy has used the chainsaw to get that gum off. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Such a shame, I could have used it for a new torture device to test out on you. Sadly, though, we can’t always get what we want in life. And by that, I mean that I can get what I want in life, but you can’t. I am really looking forward to using this on you. What shall I turn you into? A pig-bear, maybe? No, nothing threatening. A platypus-squirrel would be nice.” While Anti-Electrickid chattered on (seemingly)obliviously, Tigerboy attempted to escape from the giant bullseye that he was strapped to, Anti-Electrickid suddenly whipped around and shouted, “Come on, that’s pathetic. You really thought that you could escape if I’m not looking. I have eyes everywhere.” He showed Tigerboy the eerie-looking camera that that was strapped to the back of his head. “Heh, heh. I have eyes in the back of my head! Even if you did manage to escape, you wouldn’t make it out of here alive. I have hidden booby-traps, tricks, ans surprises everywhere! Now, I’m going to use this weapon on you!!”

Just as he was about to turn Tigerboy into a hideous monster, Tigerboy quickly flew out of the trap! “How did you do that?!” the evil duplicate hissed angrily. “You didn’t turn into that stupid Flying Tiger(not a typo), did you?” Then, he realized that Tigerboy had morphed into Robot Tiger!! Quick as a flash, Robot Tiger used a hidden laser to burn through the door and escape! Unfortunately, he ha forgotten that the door was rotten, moldy, and ,above all, flammable. The door exploded, and an immense fireball flew up! Anti-Electrickid quickly changed himself into electricity to escape the fire. Tigerboy said, aloud, “Okay, so I know that the entire Anti-Superclub is probably after me now. I also know that the machine is behind one of these doors. Let’s see. This is going to take the most complicated guessing/picking procedure I’ve ever done in my entire life. One potato, two potato, three potato, four potato, eeny, meeny, miney, mo-Alright, this is taking to long! I’ll just go through the middle door!” Fortunately, the animal machine really was in that room! In a flash, Tigerboy grabbed the machine, and headed out of the door, not noticing the members of the Anti-Superclub, following him in an energy bubble, like Electrickid’s!

As soon as Tigerboy raced back into the alleyway(unnoticed), he changed the Superclub back to normal! “What happened?” they all asked, after the last bits of animal DNA(Deoxy riboNucleic Acid) had gone away, Tigerboy told them everything that had happened while they were animals.  Tigerboy looked confused at that point, because everyone was looking at him with a worried expression. “What’s going on? The story wasn’t that scary.” he asked them, before realizing that they were looking behind him. Slowly, he looked around…and saw the Anti-Superclub, with angry expressions etched into their faces. “You destroyed our fortress, you wrecked our latest plan to destroy you, and you RUINED OUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!” The  Anti-Superclub started to leap at the Superclub, but, sadly, they weren’t looking where they were going. They collided straight into their machine, causing it to short-circuit, and turn them into animals! “You know, it’s sort of ironic.” Rubberboy said when he finally stopped laughing at Anti-Rubber-Chipmunk. “The machine that the Anti-Superclub tried to destroy us with, ended up saving our lives. But, I just have one more question. Why do I have a craving for dandelions and flowers?”

THE END

Last night, I declared that today would be Superclub day!!!

Superclub #8

Colds Are A Super-Villain’s Best Friend!!

I’m pleased to announce that many, many more stories have been planned. Bye.

“Wachhoo!” Switchboy said! “I hade codes.(Translation: Watchhoo! I hate colds!) The borst, pard is, id’s affectig our powers. Let’s hope that is geds better. (The worst part is, it’s affecting our powers.)” “Don’t worry.” Electrickid said. “I’ve invented special medicine that can make your nose be un-congested, so at least we don’t have to use translating-earphones.” Suddenly, the  emergency signal started flashing! “Oh, great.” Tigerboy moaned. “It’s the Anti-Superclub, robbing another bank.” The Superclub quickly raced to the bank, but Electrickid accidentally sneezed and made an impenetrable force field pop up. “Uh, oh. Sorry!” The Anti-Superclub laughed at them meanly. “You losers are so incompetent, that a mere COLD can stop you! Hahahahahaha!” And with that, that ran away, still laughing.

When the Superclub got back to their house(after accidentally getting wet, shocked, slightly burned, and tied up by Rubberboy’s malfunctioning powers)they knew what to do.

“My new invention,” Electrickid said, “is sure to help us with our ”power problem. These new costumes are illness-absorbent. They will temporarily render our cold gone.”

“Well, I hope it works.” Tigerboy said glumly. “They’re robbing the Museum of Rare Jewels.”

When the Superclub got to the museum, the Anti-Superclub members were escaping. The fleeing felons quickly threw a net ove them, haphazardly, and were shocked to discover that they were able to dodge it! “Hey, I thought your powers were gone for good!!” Anti-Switchboy growled. He quickly threw some smoke bombs at the Superclub, but their plan failed. Tigerboy, in Speedy Tiger form, zoomed to the smoke bombs and put them in his head’s secret compartment! Then, Switchboy threw a net at them, and captured the villains! “It looks like we were able to stop you after all.” Rubberboy said. “Now, you can go to jail.”

In jail… “Achoo! Wachoo! Hatchoo! Ughhh.” the Anti-Superclub groaned. “Ooh, I guess we should have stolen those special costumes after all. Our contact was right. ”

Who is the Anti-Superclub’s contact? How did they know about the costumes? What adventures will the Superclub have next? Find out in  upcoming Sensational Superclub titles.
THE END

Superclub #9

Again, it was accidentally deleted, so it’s short summary time! Tigerboy accidentally bought a magic book. He started to read it during “Reading Time”, and it sucked him into a strange world filled with evil people from other stories that he has read previously. He managed to escape by finding the magic book again.

After he got back, the Superclub said, “Why were you acting so scared? You were only reading.” Tigerboy then put the book in his room, and started reading a new book. Inside his room, the book was still glowing.

THE END?

Superclub #10

Villains Unite!

Prologue: In a room in a seemingly abandoned house, a very special meeting is going on. the members are all villains who have strived to defeat the Superclub and other heroes many times before. The leader, a shadowy figure at the head of the table, said, “Phase One of our plan is going into effect. Soon, we shall have infiltrated the world’s most heavily guarded facilities, and we shall soon finally have our much needed revenge.” The rest of the crooks  and villains cheered, while the shadowy and mysterious figure sat back down. “Soon, revenge will be ours.”

Part One

While the sinister meeting ended, a different type of evil was going on. Specifically, a bank robbery was going on! Slicer had broken out of prison, so he could “chop the heroes up and eat sushi”. Well, that wasn’t what was going on. in fact, the Slicer was furiously slicing and chopping at a force field. “Let me out! Grrr! Once I break free of here, I’m gonna slice all of you into tiny chunks!” As the police took him away, another villain was robbing the bank, using an android army! It was the Mad Thinker! Electrickid tried to overload the machines with electricity, but they were electric-resistant! “Electrickid! Weatherboy! Tigerboy! Initiate plan 283-34-454834-3.14!”Swichboy called out as he was trying to switch a robot into a feather.(The robots were remarkably agile.) The plan was put into effect immediately. Weatherboy quickly made some rain fall onto the robots, hoping to short-circuit them, while Electrickid made a force field fall over them! Then, Tigerboy burrowed directly underneath them, causing a minor(but contained)cave-in! Then, Rubberboy quickly stretched around the lead robot, making it fall down and blow up.(Nobody was harmed.) After that, it only took a force field to contain Mad Thinker. “Hey, I just thought of something.” Rubberboy said. “Where’s Portalboy? He should have been back from his solo mission by now. Oh well it’s probably nothing.

When the Superclub finally made it back to their house, the emergency screen was flashing, and there was a message on the video screen. Tigerboy clicked on it. “Hi, this is Reed Richards a.k.a. Mr.Fantastic of the Fantastic Four, and we need your help. A bunch of Skrulls are attacking Baxter Building, and there’s too many for us and Spider-Man to handle on our own. Please hurry when you get-” There was an explosion, and the screen dissolved into static. Quickly, the Superclub hopped into their dimension-transporter, and raced to the Baxter Building!

At the Baxter Building, there was complete and utter chaos. Skrulls were destroying the building and turning it into piles of rubble. Switchboy quickly said, “Okay, Electrickid, you get the rubble out of the way, and Tigerboy? Go crazy.” With a shriek of happiness, Tigerboy pulled some NTNT(Bombs that, when they explode, make nets come out, trapping the villains)and started hurling them in the general direction of the Skrulls. It was extremely hard to trap the Skrulls in a net, because of their shapeshifting abilities, but Electrickid found out that with one force field, it could trap rubble and Skrulls! It was still difficult, though. Even with the combined efforts of the Superclub, Spider-Man, and the Fantastic Four, the Skrulls kept on coming. Just then, the mighty Avengers came, and started to help them! As soon as the Skrulls saw the Avengers, they turned and fled. Those who were still trapped were taken to a special jail.

When the Superclub went back to their fortress, they were extremely confused. “Why did they run away like that?” Electrickid mused. At that very moment, the portable emergency screen started signaling that there was another emergency! The Lizard, Doctor Octopus, Chameleon, Vulture, Electro, Rhino, Green Goblin, Kraven the Hunter, Kingpin, Mysterio, Molten Man, and Mysterio were attacking the World Day parade! For the second time, they used the transporter to go back to the Marvel universe! When they got there, Iron Man and Daredevil were already there! “Hi! Can you help us? There’s too many villains to stop alone!” Iron Man asked as he shot a repulsor beam. There was no need for an answer. All of the heroes tried to stop the villains, but were paralyzed with a mysterious transporter beam! With a flash, all of the heroes had disappeared!

Meanwhile… all of the other heroes were being taken to that same mysterious place. But, where was it? Where?

Part Two

When the Superclub, Iron Man, and Daredevil regained consciousness, they found themselves inside of a spacious, colorful fun-house like building, with heroes from the Marvel dimension, and the DC universe. Batman was the first to speak. “I recognize this place.” he said. “It’s the Joker’s hideout! But how could he do this? He doesn’t have the available recourses!” “Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong, Batsy!” The Joker cried, on a nearby podium. Everyone gasped! How could Joker have gotten over there so quickly? “Hello, heroes!” Joker said with a snarl and grimace. “I brought some friends along to play!” All of the villains from the Superclub’s dimension were there, along with some from DC and Marvel. Lex Luthor came up onto the podium. “Yes, we get over here so quickly? It is all part of our accomplice’s plan. He had this brilliant scheme in mind, and he also told the Anti-Superclub about your cold-absorbing costumes.(See Colds Are a Super-Villain’s Best Friend) Why don’t you come up here?” Lex Luthor stepped down from the podium to reveal the special accomplice/guest. Tigerboy gasped in shock! It couldn’t be him! He had just put him in jail two days ago! (Issue 9) “Yes, it’s me.” Lil’ Pooky Bear snarled. “I had the master plan to get Parasite to steal Professor X’s mind-reading powers! Also, ” Lil’ Pooky Bear pulled someone, bound and gagged, to the podium. “It helped that Parasite was also able to take a tiny bit of Portalboy’s powers and give it to us. You see, we all have a little bit of Portalboy’s and Professor X’s powers!” “Yeah, but you forgot one thing!” Superman yelled. “You didn’t bother to trap us, you were so confident!” All of the superheroes quickly (and easily, because the stolen powers wore off at that moment) subdued the villains. Unfortunately, for everyone, Lil’ Pooky Bear got away, along with Slicer and the Anti-Superclub, but it didn’t matter. The nefarious scheme was over, and everyone was safe. The stolen items were given back, Portalboy was freed, and everything was safe. “I get it now.” Tigerboy said. “The plan was for only certain superheroes to be weakened at certain times. That’s why the Skrulls ran away when the Avengers came.” And with that final mystery solved, everything was finally completed. Except for the next mission, that is!

THE END

Yet Another Superclub Tale

Hey hey, hey! It’s me again!! Here’s another story that’s sure to make you happy!!!

There is a villain, whose powers are so great, so destructive, that he might actually be able to terminate the Superclub. His name is the Slicer, or just Slicer. Fortunately for the Superclub, he is one of the most incompetent super-villains in the world. Sadly though, that  might change, because he recently went to P.O.O.-F.O.R.-B.R.A.I.N.S. University. Now, he’s.… Doctor Slicer. Not much of a change, I know, but he has more self-confidence now. And, he wants revenge. Da-da-da-dum(b villain who is a lunkheaded imbecile)!!!

Meanwhile, the Superclub was at a special seminar on how to stop half-witted, bumbling morons who-Okay, I can’t take the insults any more. I’m the author, and I’m going to list all of his stupid qualities, so we can stop saying that he’s lame-brained. I have a schedule. Anyways, read this list.

A LIST OF HIS STUPID-NESS THINGIES

*idiot

*half-wit

*simpleton

*lame-brained

*incompetent

*stupid

*dumb

*dim

*dense

*obtuse

*cretin

*moron

*dumbell

*cheese-brain

*Patrick(from Spongebob)type moron

*dimwit

*doofus

*hard-headed

*a few fries short of a Happy Meal

*lunk-head

*imbecile

*smartness-challenged

*Cuddles when you throw peanuts in a volcano

*Zarion Kreena-type idiot

*Karion Zreena(DEFINITELY)

*ding-dong

*his elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top

Okay, there’s just too many. I could do an ent-I’ve got it!! Later, read a post all about Doctor Slicer’s stupidness. Back to the story.

Anyway, the Superclub was at the convention*, when a special news report saying that the Slicer is on the loose. (Also, the Slicer is like the Rhino. Dim, but incredible brute strength.)

Suddenly, Dr.Slicer crashed through the wall, and started slicing anything he could get his “hands” on! “I’m going to get you runts!” he howled as he turned the table to dust with a chainsaw.  The Superclub quickly went into action, and initiated Operation: Slash the Chainsaw!! First, Tigerboy used the Magic Pencil(whatever it draws can come to life, and holes can make people fall in, well, holes.)to draw a hole to trap Dr.Slicer. Next, Switchboy made the broken table into the type of cage that the Vulture used on them(first issue in the trilogy.). Dr.Slicer quickly chainsawed against the steel. To his absolute horror, it didn’t break. Suddenly, he grinned and pulled out a remote. “Heh, heh heh. The Anti-Superclub gave me this specialized remote that can turn Tigerboy into different tigers.” He turned Tigerboy into Robot Tiger, then made him smash open the cage using the magnet! “Now I’m free, and you shall perish!!!” And with that, he started to slice Robot Tiger!

As soon as the blade came near Tigerboy, he quickly used the jetpack to fly away, unharmed. “Hey! Why you…” Doctor Slicer’s voice trailed off as he realized that a tiny sparking bomb was flying on top of his head. Electrickid had built it(it is called MasterShocker 5000), and it was designed to short out Slice-oops, I mean Doctor Slicer’s mechanical capabilities. BOOM!!! The bomb exploded with such force, that the mechanical chainsaw and other various slicing things completely shorted out. “No!” Doctor Slicer screamed as the police, who had been discreetly called by the person giving the lecture on Tricking Dumb Super-Villains. Finally, as the police tied him up, (and put him in the van that was taking him to a jail specifically designed for super-villains)he moaned, “I’m going back to ‘Slicer.’”
THE END

*They were the only ones there.

Another Superclub tale :)

Recap: The Superclub and Spider-Man escaped from the trap using a bomb, and went to stop the Vulture. They discovered him robbing a childrens’ hospital. After that, they chased after him, and finally caught him at the beach. Then, Vulture revealed that Sandman was his partner, and then Sandman lunged at them and attacked.

Electrickid sent up a force field that Sandman slammed into, then Spider-Man swirled webbing after webbing glob onto him. It wasn’t enough, though. Just then, Tigerboy came back. “I return ed the money. Where were you.……Uh, oh.” Then, Sandman hit Tigerboy with a sand anvil. “Ha-hey, why aren’t you dead!? It must be that stupid resistance! Fortunately, on tipsforstupidvillains.com, it says what to do about this. Smash harder!!!!” Sandman smashed. Nothing happened. Sandman smashed harder. Nothing happened. Sandman howled with fury, and smashed even harder. Nothing happened. Sandman made a combination sand hammer-bazooka that would smash on impact. There was an explosion, and Tigerboy turned into a (still-living)tiny pile of ashes. “Ow.”was his only comment, and then he waited until he recovered. Waterboy had the brilliant idea of spraying him with water. He turned into a pile of mud. “Hey, what are ou doing? No…glubmrpp.’ And with that, he was taken to jail and the Superclub went back to their home.

THE END

Did you like it? Oh well, coming up soon, is my review of Spider-Man!!!

Here’s a special treat-the fourth and fifth Sensational Superclub stories!!!!!(Also, it shows the Superclub’s response to my “voice mail” request.

Story 4

Hey, ho! I’m here to tell you that this is the very first super-hero crossover in this comic! Way cool!! So, sit back, and watch the sensational Superclub team up with the amazing Spider-Man!!!

“Hey, come look at this!” Rubberboy said. “Someone’s left a voice recording message. Hmm. It’s some nut who says that he needs help with a paintball machine  and someone named Karion. He also says that he needs help building his dimension-transporter, and he’s only gotten the voice recording thing ready. It’s probably just a prank call.” So the Superclub deleted the alleged crank call, and went to go out on patrol. When they got back, however, a new message was on the screen, and they could hear someone saying, “Come on, pick up. This is an emergency.” “Uh, if this is another prank call, then-” When Switchboy was about to finish his sentence, he got interrupted. “Finally! Hey, it’s Spider-Man.(Told you he’d be in the story!)I need your help with something. I’ll tell you in my world.” “It’s Spider-Man. Why did call, though? He can usually handle things-” “Hurry, up!”Tigerboy yelled. “The Dimension-Hopper 10000 is all warmed up!” Spider-Man was Tigerboy’s favorite superhero, and he was always glad to see him. And with that, the Superclub went to New York.

In New York by the train station, Spidey was already there. “I’m happy you’re here. The Vulture has been doing all sorts of crimes, and I can’t catch him in the act! That’s why I need your help. Will you help me?” “Sure!” Tigerboy said. “Good. I asked Louie the Stoolie, and he says that Vulture is going to rob the art museum next.” “Well, then what are we waiting for?” Switchboy said. “Let’s go!” When they got to the roof of the museum using Portal Rays, (rays that can make portals to almost anywhere and any-when)the Vulture was already breaking in! “What are you doing here?! Oh, well, you’ll never catch me with my new, powered-up mechanical wings!” When he flew away cackling, Spider-Man instantly leapt onto a telephone pole, and said, “That’ll never happen, Vultchie!” The chase was on!

With the rest of the Superclub turned into birds, (courtesy of Switchboy)and Tigerboy turned into Flying Tiger (but still miniature), they flew, web-slinged, and leapt after the Vulture! “This is strange.” Tigerboy thought. “It’s almost like he’s purposely leading us this way, so we’ll be-” “Trapped! I’ve finally caught all of you, you accursed fiends!” As soon as the Vulture said these words, a large glass-steel combo fell upon the heroes. “Hahaha! And the best part is, this cage dampens your powers!” the Vulture excitedly yelled.

To be continued.……

Story 5

Recap:In our last issue, the Vulture trapped our heroes in a cage. But, what is the actual trap part? Find out in this issue!!!!

“And now,” Vulture cried in happiness, “I shall eliminate all my greatest enemies at once!!! You see, soon this trap will toss you into an active volcano. Then, you will be turned into powder by the spinning, crushing gears that are at the bottom. Finally, your remains/partially living bodies will be vaporize by this Vaporizer 10,000!!! This cannot possibly fail!” Then, he activated the trap, and left to, no doubt, commit more crimes. “Oh, no!” Spider-Man said. “My side strength doesn’t work here!” “I have an idea!” Tigerboy yelled. “As soon as we’re about to fall onto the gears, I’ll drop a bomb on it.” Switchboy nervously said, “Um, I think you should do it now, because we’re about to fall in!” Everyone screamed in terror, but there was no need, because Tigerboy’s plan actually worked!!! “Everyone, follow me, because I know where he’s heading!” Spiderman said hurriedly. Everyone followed him, and(after searching fro almost a whole hour)they found him, robbing a hospital for children. “Wow, I know you were low, Vultchie, but I didn’t know that you were this low!” Spider-Man yelled as he kicked the mechanical part of the Vulture’s wings. “You can’t stop me!” the Vulture cried as he flew to the beach. While Tigerboy returned the money, the rest of the heroes trailed Vulture to the beach. “Hah, you’ll never catch me here, for I have the advantage!” “What is he talking about?” Electrickid said, before they were pushed aside by Spidey! “Get down! I know who-AFLUMP!!!” The Vulture’s new partner, Sandman billowed around him, forming a cage. “You’re dead meat.” he growled, before lunging at them.

To be concluded.….

Searching for a website on the dimension-transporter.

While I’m searching for a website on my invention, I’m going to give you the third Sensational Superclub story. Happy reading!

I’m your friendly, neighborhood introduction-ist-thingy, so let’s get started with this rocking an rolling scientifically proven to be good (by me), story!!!!

“The bank’s lights were flashing with red and blue lights, remarkably similar to a police car, and Mr. Regal, the notorious cat burglar, was climbing up the rope of his helicopter to get away from the scene of the crime! Suddenly, sticks of TNT came flying down from the air! It was Switchboy who had switched into a jumbo jet, which Tigerboy was operating(He’s a registered pilot)and simultaneously dropping bombs. Not enough to make him lose his grip, but just enough to unsettle him, and to make his finges almost slip off the rope. Then, Electrickid put a force field(he recently became able to generate force fields and energy bolts)and snared the dastardly crook. That was two years ago. Now, he’s in a maximum-security prison. And he’s still in it right now, so who’s robbing all of the houses, stores, and restaurants in Dreamyland?”  As Electrickid concluded the slide show, everyone was still confused. “Hmm. There’s still no clues that can show he escaped from jail.” Switchboy mused. “Oh! Maybe the person committing the criem is an android that has flying rocket boots, a laser beam that can turn a human to dust, and an automatic pretzel making machine.” Tigerboy suggested. Everyone stared at him for a moment, puzzled. “Hey, you did say that anything could be useful. I’m just trying to help.” “I know!” Boulderboy exclaimed. “Let’s pay a little visit to Dr. Rutabaga. Maybe he knows something about what’s going on around here.”

When the Superclub got to the laboratory, it was, as usual, a hustling and bustling hive of frenetic and frantic energy. Unfortunately, when they found Dr. Rutaga as he was working with some metals, their search was fruitless. “I am sorry, but I have not heard of this ‘Mr. Regal’ character, and I do not wish to. Goodbye.” “Well, that was useful.” Tigerboy complained. Just then, their portable emergency locator started beeping without stop. “It must be Mr. Regal! Come on!” The Superclub quickly rushed to the Museum of Rare and Priceless Jewels. At the museum, they found Dr. Rutabaga stealing the Klopman Diamond. “You can’t stop me now, Super-brats! I have a special metal suit that can resist any superpower! You will be helpless against my stunning ray!” “That may be true, but it can be penetrated by good, old fashioned TNT!” Tigerboy then shoved some dynamite inside of the suit, and instantaneously it exploded with a sonic boom! The Superclub went to check on Mr. Regal, and made a shocking discovery! He was an exact clone of him, except it was made out of metal! “He…made me..to commit crimes(zzzt)with(crackle, pop. zzzt)help. A(ZZZZTTT! SNAP! CRACKLE POP! CRICK-ZZZZT!!!)scientist. His.. (zzzt) name…(zzt) was-” BOOM!!!!!! Just before Mr. Regal’s android clone could say the name, he exploded. Every bit of him, every metal shard, was turned into dust with the explosion, and the stunning ray. “Come on.” Magmaboy exclaimed. “I know exactly who his partner-in-crime is!

Before you could say, “He did it!” the Superclub arrived at the laboratory to arrest none other than.……..Doctor Rutabaga? “It’s true! I did it!” the (not so)good doctor/scientist confessed as he was led into the police van. “He promised me that I would get some of the reward, and what with my job wages being so low and all, I gave in to temptation!” The story’s not over yet, though. Mr. Regal(the one who had been in jail all this time)had 18 more years added on to his 30-year sentence. But, in the Superclub’s home, Tigerboy had one last thing to say. “I called it. I said that he was an android, and I was right. Except for the flying rockets, lazer beams, and pretzel maker, I was right.”

THE END

(Sorry,it’s short. anyway, here’s the second Superclub story!) The Sensational Superclub #2: The Origin of the Anti-Superclub

The Origin of the Anti-Superclub

Hello, it’s me again! I’m here to tell you about the Anti-Superclub. They are incredibly evil, and long to finally destroy the Superclub, but they haven’t succeeded yet.  What? You’re asking how the Anti-Superclub came to be? Well, just sit down, relax, and take a load off! You’re going to hear the story now! Actually, I’m just going to tell you the shortened version.

Tigerboy was really sick, so the Superclub made clones of themselves to literally take the illness out of his body. They entered through his nose, while Electrickid stayed bck to operate the machinery. Suddenly, the machine made an insame, crazed clone of Tigerboy, just as the Superclub’s clones  came out of the original Tigerboy’s nose, declared that they would attempt to destroy the Superclub forever as the evil Anti-Superclub, and left.

THE END

(Note: The Superclub was attacked by the Anti-Superclub at every turn, but the villains always failed. Also, the Superclub had placed Tigerboy’s illness into a jar and vaporized it, and it was never seen again.)

(Another Note: I had a really long and detailed description of this, but it was deleted. Sorry.)

The Very First Superclub Story…. and Info. on Our Lovely Contest

“Operation: Destroy Dreamyland”

Welcome to the Vault of Adventures, where every superhero story ever made is stored! You’ve heard of Batman, Superman, and the Fantastic Four, but this brand-new superhero team is like nothing you’ve ever seen before. Meet…the sensational Superclub! We shall begin our tale in a seemingly normal neighborhood in Dreamyland, a veritable Utopia, except,  of course, for the evil villains that the Superclub had to stop from destroying Dreamyland.  Do you see that house over there? The one with the orange roof, tan walls, and a plain brown door and the green doorknob? Good. That is the secret residence of the Superclub. No one knows about it, except for the Superclub themselves. It’s a crime-stopping laboratory, clubhouse, house, and much more all rolled into one. Needless to say, it’s much bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. Now, I can read you the fascinating tale of the sensational Superclub!

“Yahoo!”Tigerboy shouted. He quickly turned into Robot Tiger, one of his many forms, and leaped into a seemingly normal brown paper bag. After that, a giant spring rocketed him out and sent him into a bouncy, rainbow-striped  pit filled with scrumptious looking pretzels. “The Pretzel-Bouncer 4000 is the best!” Meanwhile, the rest of the Superclub raced into the invention room. Who are the members of the Superclub, you ask? I’ll tell you! First, there’s Switchboy. He’s the leader of the Superclub, and has the unique ability to turn himself, anyone, and/or anything into, well anything. Next, there’s Electrickid, who has the power to turn himself into electricity, and make electricity(static or otherwise)come out of his eyes or hands. Also, Boulderboy can control boulders, and Plantboy can control plants and other types of vegetation. Finally, there’s Rubberboy and Tigerboy. Tigerboy can turn himself into a weird assortment of tigers, including the aforementioned Robot Tiger. Strangely enough, his “normal” form is Miniature Tiger, a tiger that is so tiny, someone could trap him in a pickle jar. In fact, that actually happened one day, but that’s another story. No one knows why that’s his normal form. Tigerboy didn’t choose it, but maybe we’ll find out…. eventually. Rubberboy has incredible stretching powers, which involves twisting his body into ordinary things, except that they’re made of rubber. That’s rather like Plastic Man, who’s a friend of Batman. Maybe they are related. Oh, well, it doesn’t pertain to the story, so let’s continue! Suddenly, Tigerboy started shouting something excitedly. “Hey, guys! I’m in the kitchen, and I want to show you something that I think is really cool.” Using his Switchray(a ray that has the same powers as Switchboy, which is used for emergencies)he turned a disgusting, slimy, green piece of bread into a cash register, and dumped some pretzels inside of it. After that, he put it in a drawer. “Hey, Tigerboy,” Switchboy said nervously, “this isn’t going to make anything explode, like the “Rocket Pretzel” experiment, is it?”

“Only twenty car alarms were set off from the explosion.” Tigerboy replied.

“Actually, you’re forgetting the truck, ice cream vehicle, giant hot dog trucks, hamburger trucks-“

“Okay, okay, so maybe that was a little dangerous, but this is completely safe.” As Tigerboy was saying this, he morphed into Flying Tiger, flew approximately eighteen feet into the air, and turned back into non-flying, Miniature Tiger. “Tigerboy, what are you doing?” Rubberboy asked, half amused, half frightened. “I thought you said this was safe!” “It is.” Tigerboy assured him. And with that, he hit the table, causing the drawer to spit out the cash register, in turn making the pretzels come flying out. “Hey, that’s cool!” Boulderboy exclaimed. “Can we have some?” Just then, an alarm clock started ringing, but where was it coming from? The answer was revealed as Tigerboy pulled open a secret compartment in his head, and pulled out a purple, orange, and green alarm clock that was flashing the message “EMERGENCY MEETING AT THE SUPERHERO SCHOOL” over and over again. “Uh, oh. We don’t have time to snack. There’s an emergency meeting at the superhero school.” Switchboy exclaimed. The Superclub quickly opened a trapdoor in the kitchen and leapt through it! On the sidewalk near the school, another trapdoor opened and the Superclub zoomed out! As they walked into the building, they never saw the line of spiders, creeping along the field, heading into a tiny hole in the ground, and transforming into the giant spiders(and other things)that made up Council of Scaryannia. Inside the school, a loudspeaker was blaring an important message for all of the students. “Attention all students. Go to the auditorium.” Suddenly, a there was a loud scream! “AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!” Tigerboy screamed in pure, absolute terror. “There’s a spider in my locker!!!” Tigerboy’s worst fears(and weaknesses)were spiders, snakes, and bugs, not in necessarily in that order. “Ha, ha, ha!” A new person appeared. It was Shrinky, a bully who relished playing pranks on Tigerboy, including putting rubber spiders in Tigerboy’s locker. His friend and “henchperson/lackey” Lava Lamp snickered, and then they both walked away.

Later, in the auditorium, Principal Smith quieted everyone down to begin the emergency assembly. “Attention, students. I’ve called you here today to tell you that report cards are coming soon. Be careful, and study hard.” Everyone left the auditorium, and the Superclub returned home to find the emergency signal going off. “Oh, no!” Switchboy exclaimed. “The Council of Scaryannia is robbing the jewelry store!” In an instant, the sensational Superclub raced to the scene of the crime! Oddly, when they got there, the spiders, snakes, and bugs that made up the Council of Scaryannia was nowhere to be found. Suddenly, the Superclub(except for Tigerboy who had leapt into the bushes as soon as he heard a rustling noise)had been captured!!!

When Tigerboy finally made it back to the Superclub’s home, his heart was racing with 100% terror. “What should I do?!? I’m terrified of Scaryannia!!! Hmmm. I’ve got it!”

Meanwhile, as Tigerboy was making plans, the Scaryannia Council had placed the Suoerclub in a vicious trap. They had been put in a box-shaped rocky cavern laced with TNT, with was placed in a cave! “Hahahahahaha!”the Council hissed. “You will be terminated! After that, no one will be  able to stop us from transforming the entire human race into spiders with this lazer beam. And the best part is, it’s powered by the explosion that will destroy you! Oh, the cleverness of us!” Meanwhile, a small figure tunneled into their kitchen. “I KNEW that I had gotten that map wrong!” Tigerboy moaned. Just then, a hairy, greasy, dreadlocked spider dripping with venom crawled into the room. Tigerboy squeaked nervously, and tried to hide in a broom closet, but it was too little, too late. The spider grabbed Tigerboy, and led him to his doom!

As Tigerboy sat in his prison cell waiting to be turned into a spider, he suddenly remembered something. “I can just tunnel straight through the ground! Why didn’t I think of that before?!” Quick as a flash, he started to burrow!

When  he got to the room with the Superclub in it, it was time for Operation :HUGE HIGH DIVE to begin! Tigerboy transformed into a ginormous tiger, leapt into the air, and fell onto the huge slab of rock containing the Superclub! The impact dislodged the second slab of stoen, thereby releasing the Superclub and deactivating the doomsday plan and trap! Then, Rubberboy stretched himself into a netlike form, and then they captured the Council of Scaryannia. “No! You can’t do this to us! We’re nor ordinary, human criminals! Nooo.….” they wailed as the police van carted them away. “Hey, Tigerboy.” Switchboy said. “I just have one more question. How did you get that great idea on how to destroy the trap?” “It was simple.”  Tigerboy replied. “I just did the Pretzel Experiment from before, but on a larger scale.” And with that, another successful mission in the career of the sensational Superclub!

The End

And now, here’s the info. For one thing, this is not, I repeat is not one of the contest entries. I made this, purely on my own. Speaking of the contest entries, three have come in. A pet turning into um, a… a thing, mutant frog toys that want to take over the world, and Super Monkey. I will be continuing my versions of the stories, but I thought it would be fun to have a  contest , and see what other people could come up with. Bye, for now!!!

3/5

Part 3:*

After Mr.ChickenPotPie was sent back, the Ghost of KFC Present appeared. He smelled musty, wore a cloak made of a thousand screaming souls, carried a bloody whip with oozing brains on it, and Hello Kitty slippers. “I have come to show you what your voracious chicken-eating has done.” Once again the chicken twirled through time/space and fell into a trash heap. “WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!” a poor chicken cried. “I have no income or home, ever since my husband, Freddy-Joe-BobBilly was sent to the chicken factory.” “So what, loser?”Mr.ChickenPotPie snarled.”Bah, humchicken!”(Due to certain factors, sueing me for one, I could not say ,”Bah, humbug!” Oops.) then, the woman chicken slapped him numerously and called him some things that I can not repeat in polite company. After that, he was sent home.

To be continued…

*I’m not doing anymore recaps.

Part 2 of 5

Recap:The chicken ate glazed, lemony, chicken and didn’t share. Then, the pizza boy(and personal food getter and deliverer)left for his play where his character has-Hurry up!! Okay, first ghost. Sheesh. Then, the messenger ghost told Mr.ChickenPotPie that 3 ghosts would come and make him stop eating Kentucky Fried Chicken. Mr.Chicken(shortened version of his name, either this or “Chicken”)screamed.

Act Two

Mr.Chicken was still screaming, even though he fainted. Creepy. He woke up, and gasped!!!!! The first ghost had arrived! He was dressed in a Papa Mom’s pizza delivery outfit, and HE WAS A CHICKEN! “I have come for you. I am the ghost of KFC Past.” “Why are you being so abrupt?”Mr.Chicken inquired. “Well,” he replied,”this is the only spot where I’m in the story, and I want to sound my best. Now, let us take a little walk down Memory Lane.”

Act 2:Part 2

The chicken and ghost swirled and whirled through time and space, until they came to rest in a KFC store. “Mr.ChickenPotPie,”the ghost groaned,”you were stupid and evil here.” “You mean this was the place where I ordered KFC for the first time, and became infatuated with it?”Mr.Chicken asked. “Actually, no. This was the place where you teased the owner. The bad-tempered person who eats and cooks chickens who annoy him. You lost some feathers here. Now, I shall send you back, in the hopes that you have learnt your lesson. And if you have not, then you will be immediately visited by the Ghost of KFC Present.” Then, Mr.Chicken was sent back.

To Be Continued…..

100th Post Anniversary

Hey, peoples!!! (That’s a real word.) This is my hundredth blog post!!! Here’s some commentary from Syrika on this milestone. (Note: This isn’t the BIG thing. That’s coming later.:)) “YAHOOOOOOOO HUZZAHHHHHH!!! REJOICE!!!!!!!! I’M HUNGRY. No, really, I’m starving. GIMME FOOOOOOOOD!!!!! With love, from Syrika. Now go away. Talk to Zarion. FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!” Wow. That was….. interesting, to say the least.(No offense Syrika, go eat if you are hungry.) Now, here’s some commentary from Cuddles&Company.

Cuddles:Zary has a blog. Me wanna see it!! (Note: They are all babies, so you might hear some baby talk.) Oh, YOU MEAN I’M BEING QUOTED, AND EVERYONE CAN HEAR WHAT I’M SAYING RIGHT NOW? Oh, well in that case Zarion has his pajamas on inside out, and I LOVE peanuts.

Happy:EXTREME SPORTS WULE!!!!

Lucky: I’m on your bwog? WAHHH!!!!!!!! I’m scared!!! Also, I wike gah-dening. Googoo, go gaa. annana weewee.

Jeremy: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ(Note from Zarion:Wake up, Jeremy!!)

Now, here’s a story, that is based on a comic I once drew.

Ponies

Cuddles was walking in the park, sadly. “Sigh,” he thought,”I wish I could find apony to hug, love, and name George Finkleberry the Eleventy-Seventh of The Month of Ponyianscuddlesrules-Bobbyjoe.” Nearby, Happy was spying on Cuddles, and a prank formed in his cute little mind. Quickly, he gathered up Jeremy and Lucky, put them(and himself) into a pony costume. Cuddles saw the pony and SHRIEKED!! Now, even though this was an obvious pony costume, complete with patches, paint, and a tag that said “Happy’s Pony Costume” Cuddles, really wanted to hug the pony. Cuddles chased the “pony.” It ran. Cuddles chased. It ran. Cuddles chased. It ran. Cuddles caught up to Happy in the costume, and then Happy and Jeremy sensibly zipped open the pony costume. Lucky, on the other hand, didn’t use the zipper and simply ripped right through it. Cuddles yelled in terror when the costume opened up, and that’s, unfortunately, when the Animal Control officers came up. They took out a 50-foot long needle to tranquilize the 3 frightened still-in-costume babies. Obviously,another chase ensued. Cuddles, tried to help, but his “help” ended up with all four babies going to jail. As they were thrown into their cell, Cuddles said anxiously,”If you see Zawion, pwease tell him that I escaped from my bath, and locked the bathroom door.

The End

Ah, wasn’t that great? I think it was. Now, it’s time for a poem entitled Cuddles, which was, course, written by Cuddles himself.

Cuddles

I love peanuts! Oh, yes I do!!

I also love getting cuddled, it’s very true!!

Cuddles, cuddles, cuddles, cuddles, YEAH!

The End.

That was very, um, good,Cuddles. Well, now I’m not a philosopher, but I believe that reading a person’s blog can tell you about their mind. That means that I am TOTALLY INSANE!!!!!!!!!! MWU-HAH-HAH-HAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! To end this post here is a bunch of seemingly random words.

chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face Cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Genetics Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face monsters versus aliens garfield garfield and friends chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face Cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Genetics Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face monsters versus aliens garfield garfield and friends chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face Cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Genetics Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face Cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Genetics Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face monsters versus aliens garfield garfield and friends  Baby Sitters’ club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face monsters versus aliens garfield garfield and friends chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face Cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Genetics Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face monsters versus aliens garfield garfield and friends chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face Cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Genetics Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face monsters versus aliens garfield garfield and friends chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face Cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Genetics Genetics Epigenetics Science Pie-in-the-face chicken potato pie Harry Potter Cuddles cuddles Baby Sitters’ Club books fine dining Pokemon Ash Ketchum Heredity Genetics Epigenetics Read-my-blog ponies toilets Syrika Silicon

Chapter 2 of Book 1 of Alien Chronicles!(Book 1 is called The Invasion Begins)

Chapter two

Mr. Chang’s secret

The bottom part of the spaceship looked like a bloated pancake, and the top was similar to a giant bowl. There was a door in the top, and with a hiss, the door slid open. The boys froze, but the only thing that came out was a ramp. The ramp puffed up and became a staircase.

“Told you they were spaceship marks.” Matt muttered.

Pete had to admit he was right. The ‘legs’ of the spaceship started as one piece, but halfway down, the legs split in half. At the end of the legs there was a sharp, barbed knob that rooted the ship from space to the ground, and it also made the eight craters. The barbs were right inside the holes.

Jake had not made a remark yet. Pete looked at him and shrieked. “MATT! Jake is out cold!” Jake’s head had banged against a rock because of the earthquake.

After a little bit of  screaming in Jake’s ear, Jake finally stirred. “ Huh? What happ- HOLY COW! Is that a spaceship?” THUMP. Jake fainted again.

Five minutes later,  Jake opened his eyes weakly. “Huh?”

“You fainted twice,” Matt told Jake. “No more fainty, Jakey.”

Jake stared at the spaceship. “Is that what I fainted about?”

“ Yup.”

“We have to tell someone about this,” Pete said.

Matt shook his head. “No one is going to believe us. Would you believe it?”

“No,” Jake admitted. “But we could show Pete’s dad. Doesn’t he hang out in the woods sometimes?”

Pete nodded. “He showed me this clearing.”

“So what are we waiting for?” asked Matt as he ran out of the clearing. “Let’s go tell him!”

Halfway home, the boys almost bumped into Mr. Chang, Pete’s dad.  Before anyone could stop him, Pete cried, “Dad! Remember the clearing you showed me? Well, a spaceship landed in there,-”

“I know,” said Mr. Chang. Pete stared. Jake got ready to faint again.

“It’s okay,” Matt said. “I’ve read about this in horror books. Something scary happens to some kids. The kids tell their parents or friends, and they say they believe it, but then they start laughing. He’s kidding, guys.

“No, I’m not,” insisted Mr. Chang. “And I’m glad you three found out.  I need a new alien-fighting partner. Five years ago, my old partner…” He broke off.

Pete couldn’t believe it. “ You don’t mean…”

“Yes.” nodded Mr. Chang. “Mary.” Matt and Jake looked at him like he was crazy.

“That’s my mom.” Pete said breathlessly. Matt gasped. Jake’s mouth fell open.

Mary Chang had disappeared when Pete was one. He didn’t miss her, but as he got older, Pete started asking his dad how she disappeared. But whenever he asked, Mr. Chang only replied, “I’d rather not talk about it, Petey. Now go play.”

“ My boss said I needed new partners, but after Mary disappeared,  I retired.

I could never forget about her, though, so every day I went to the AL clearing-that’s the glade I showed you, Pete- to see if if a lookout spaceship had arrived.” Mr. Chang smiled. “I see you boys have found it before me. So- I’m asking you;”  Now Mr. Chang looked dead serious, “would you like to go on a space mission?”

The three friends looked at one another for a minute.

Then, at long last, Matt spoke up. “You bet we would.”

Intro. to Syrika’s Story part 1

My sister, Syrika, has written a cute story that relates to her pet Boompacay, Bumpy. in fact, Pounce isBumpy’s great-great-great-great

The Every Category Post

I will now put every category onto this post. Why, you ask? Well,  I feel a sense of obligation to use all of my categories, as there’s some that I haven’t used yet.

Monkeys

Angry yaks stole Edna’s soap! Papa angrily yanked “Dude’s Soap”. Pineapple Ernest told dramas secretly. Yvette egged Damion’s sofa. Also, Owen nicked Damion’s soup. Papa ate Ernest’s souffle. Sadly, Yvette stole May’s yam. Monkeys stole Edna’s “Starry Yeast-Yeep” painting. Granny yelled “Damian! Never rip pants!” “So?!” Owen screamed. Drake egged Sarah. “Yahhhhh!” House yowled. “Dan nicked Dude’s Soap.” Perry yawned.

THE ( Safe) END

My Math Curse! By Zarion Kreena!

It all started when out teacher read us The Math Curse. As soon as she read it, my head spun, and I felt dizzy and faint. Then, something strange happened to me: Everything felt like a math problem! Just then, I started to feel slightly hungry. My mind started drifting off. “Uh,oh.…….” That was my last thought before things started getting even weirder. “Yumm.” I thought in my head. “Pretzels and pickles are in my lunch. What would 1 pretzel times 2 pickles equal? Hey it’s time for lunch! Why isn’t anyone getting up? Is the clock wrong, or is another clock wrong? Are all the clocks wrong?”Everything went downhill from there. When I started wondering about my book order form, a strange math problem popped into my head. 1 book order form + 2 book order books minus 2 random books + a boat= What? What was going on? Just then, my math teacher told me to go. “Um,it’s time to go?” I thankfully hurried off to the gym for lunch. As soon as I had gotten my milk, I sat down by my science teacher’s class’s table. Everything was perfect. Except for one thing. Another math problem had waltzed into my head. “If I had 1.5 pretzels in my lunch, then what would that be in fraction form?” I babbled. “Arggghhhh!” I burst out!(in my head) “When will this Math Curse stop!??!” After an even more terrifying lunch involving gallons, pickle juice, and milk, I went over to Language Arts. “Hopefully, math can’t follow me here.” I muttered to myself. I was wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong. In L.A., a paper that was due later this month. While she was talking, I silently hoped to myself, that break would come soon. Gratefully, it did. As the teacher said the we would talk more about it after break, I zoomed to the bathroom. I really needed to use the toilet. As I got there, I realized that more math problems awaited me there! There’s 5 people in the bathroom, and only 3 stalls. How many irritated sighs will I make while waiting? Will a half-empty toilet paper roll last for everyone? Will I make it to class on time?

39 minutes later.….

Now our teacher says that the essay is worth 60% of our grade! Oh well, no time to think about it now, I have to get to history class! We have been learning about continents. Urpp.… Not again…I feel queasy.. 7 continents + 5 bored kids minus 2 who have planner signatures from not paying attention = ?????.

1 hour later…

Let’s see. What should I put in my backpack for homework? 1 math project a certain book which I forgot the title+ 2 L.A. assignments+ 3 technology projects equals.. I don’t know, I’ll just put all of it in my backpack.

At Bedtime.….

I can’t believe it! My math curse wore off! Yes! Finally! Then, there was a knock on my door, and my mom came in. “I heard about your My Math Curse project, and I got something from the library that may help you. Here you go.” As soon as I looked at it, I knew it was going to be trouble. It was a copy of The Math Curse 2: The Algebra Strikes Back! “NOOOO!!!!!!!!” I shouted, My curse had come back! If the Math Curse doubles its power every 5 times, then how many years will it stay with me, if the equation has a factor of double the sum, then if I added if to 1 and three quarters, then what will the equilabric function of the splaterrigidivisor be if you added it to the quadritic equation of a chicken leg? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     This is horrible! HELLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

You are marginally closer to the secret you find. Now, you must find the very first time Lucky the baby bunny appeared.

The Silly Story Continues Part 2!!!!!

The hideous Lucky-Beast fell back to Earth! It was so extremely disgusting! The monster had purple skin, looked like a dinosaur, and- wait a minute! Lucky turned into a clone of Barney! The Apocalypse is upon us! No!!!! I’m sorry,readers, but this is too distressing. I can’t continue. I’m sorry. It’s just that Barney is so horrible! I mean come on! I love you, you love me we’re a happy- BLAH,BLAH,BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyone who hates Barney should read this. In fact, I’m going to do a post of it. Just a second.

Okay, I’m done with my rant. I’ll post it after this. So, Lucky has turned into a Barney(shudder wince) clone. Now, he’s back on Earth, and people are terrified. “AAAAHHHH! A Barney monster is saying that he wants carrots and trying to hug people! HEELLPPPP!” So, Lucky was feared all his life and was hunted until the day he died.

THE END!

What? Why are you still reading the story? It’s over! Scram! Beat it! Okay, fine, I’ll give Lucky a happy ending, just stop bothering me!!!!

Bumpy toddled up to Lucky, ate ten magicberries, and wished that Lucky was back to normal. Then, it happened. Whew! I finished.So,

The End!  (For real this time!)

A Silly Story: Cuddles and Company! Part 1

First of all, you should know that the characters in Cuddles and Company are babies. Cuddles, the baby elephant, who is good at finger-painting, bad at cooking and belly-dancing. Also, he is cute. Well, mostly cute. Next, there is Lucky. He is a sweet baby bunny who can usually be found gardening, and,well, that’s it, really. Happy, the baby monkey, is crazed about extreme sports, inventions, and pranks. Finally, there is Jeremy. Jeremy is a baby frog. Yes, I said frog. Not tadpole, frog. Weird, I know, but I love him all the same. Jeremy loves playing with Lucky, eating crackers, and being adorable and helpful. Oh, Syrika just told me that I can add Bumpy now. Bumpy is the Boompacay I told you about in my last post. she is the cutest (alien) puppy in the world. Nothing, I repeat nothing, can change that. Now, the introduction is over, time for the tale to begin!

The Chew Toy of Evil!!!!!!!

Cuddles is having a ball in the park! He gave 12 people his (deadly/disgusting) Gumbo Surprise, maimed 3 mean dogs, and ate peanuts from nice old ladies. Also, he got maimed by 5 gentle kittens. Meanwhile,in space, a strange meteor was coming down to Earth. Nobody knew that the meteor would cause crazy chaos to come to Grand Rapids. Duh-duh-dum! Now, Cuddles is playing with Lucky on the seesaw. “Whee!” Lucky yelled. ‘Whee! Whee-AHHHHHH!” Cuddles had jumped a teensy bit too hard on the seesaw, and sent Lucky flying into the air! He flew into space and saw a weird meteor. “Hey! What’s that?” Lucky squealed with delight (“Marble! Yahoo!”) and took the shiny, glowing, “marble.” Suddenly, Lucky began to morph into a hideous monster! “ROARRR!” Then, all was silent as the Lucky-like creature fell back to Earth.

To Be Continued……