Snowwife: (laughs) Grunt!!!!

Snowdad: Grunt out.

Tigerboy: (in mime costume, mimes walking against the wind)

Zarion: Yeah, I saw that coming. Anyway, I hope the snowpeople aren’t polluting the Miscellaneous Soup studio with trash and bodily function jokes. See you next time, peoples, Zarion out. If we don’t respond tomorrow, then either we have fired Uncle Murray, or we have died. According to my calculations, the Abominable Snowpeople’s post should be up right after this.

Tigerboy: Y-yeah. I’m building a teleportation machine to transport us to Iowa. The land of potatoes, and, hopefully, ways to help us with our “Abominable” problem.

Uncle Murray: Grrrrrr….

Zarion: Sorry. (turns to Tigerboy) I told you it was a bad idea to bribe Uncle Murray into being the new transcript writer. Zarion out.

TIgerboy: If you don’t know what that is, read it backwards.

Zarion: So, it doesn’t look like today is unlucky.

(clump of snow lands on Tigerboy, Abominable Snowman, Abominable Snowwoman, Abominable Snow Kids One, Two And Three, and Slightly More Abominable Lazy Uncle Murray Snowman moves in.)

Zarion: Curses…pun intended. Okay, I’m lying. Now we’ve resorted to puns!! HELP!!!!

All the Snowpeople: ZARION, OUT!!!!

(they throw Zarion and Tigerboy out into the snow)

All the Snowpeople: This is our new house!

4. Not annoying enough

3. Not annoying enough

2. Not annoying enough

1. Not annoying enough

Zarion out.

I was horrified to see

an ominous tear in my backpack,

a rip in my lunch box,

confusion with my science binder,

an annoying locker,

a locker neighbor who sprays perfume, and it stinks,

tests are coming soon,

my lunchbox still smells like pickle juice,

Math in general worries me,

a disgusting yogurt spill on the ground,

more annoying perfume,

Science also worries me,

and a ‘Happy Holidays’ to you all!

(far away)

Zarion: What?? I can’t hear you! The rehearsal of the next skit is starting in ‘Post Transcript Room 3.’

(machine explodes)

Zarion: Oh. That’s what you were saying.

Tigerboy: (charred) Owwww……..

Tigerboy: Well, I was celebrating my 1,000th mission with the Superclub. Short notice.

Zarion: Anyway, it needs to be fueled with words. Random words. Send in random comments with poems relating to winter. The best will be the Snow Maker 7000′s fuel. Zarion out, contest in.

Tigerboy: Hello, everybody! Today, I will interview the famous escaped convict!

Mad WHUMPer: (grinning evilly) Hi, Mr. Tiger. It’s nice to meet you here. In a room with a blog being turned into a transcript live. And a fake studio audience…

Tigerboy: Hey, that was a secret! Anyway, they call you the Mad WHUMPer because you kill people with poisoned snowballs. Your catchphrase is “With each WHUMP, more people dump.” Not very creative, and it sounds misleading.

Mad WHUMPer: No witnesses…(pulls out snowball, throws it at Tigerboy)

Tigerboy: (gets hit with snowball; no WHUMPH) Did you really think that could kill me? Anyway, let me introduce you to a little friend. Ladies and gentlemen, Morty the Sound Effects Removal Guy. Also, the Miscellaneous Soup police force. Goodnight, everyone!

Mad WHUMPer:  Curse you, Morty the Sound Effects Removal Guy!

Happy Chanukah!

Tigerboy: It combines social commentary and parodies. What more could you ask for?

Zarion: Chocolate pie?

Tigerboy: Okay, enough host/co-host introduction banter. Start the song!

Why is everyone so paranoid
About nuclear radiation
And the deadly effects it could have?
Because, radiation is deadly.
Extinction could happen
And bunkers can’t help you hide!
So we’ve been told and stupid people chose to
put crazy rumors on the Internet
But I know they’ll get deleted….wait and  see.

Tigerboy: CUT!!! This is getting too depressing. It reminds me of the time a villain made me eat a nuclear bomb…(pauses)…the explosion didn’t hurt, actually.

Zarion: Okay, that’s just weird. Goodnight! Hopefully we’ll be funnier later!

Zarion out.