‘Ms. Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children’ Trailer Review


I watched the trailer and had some thoughts. Might as well write them down, right? Continue reading

Futuristic Execution


Futuristic Execution

by Zachary Krishef

 

You enter the control room, filled with flashing lights, whirring fans, and blaring buzzers. Above the panel, there is a cloudy glass wall, smeared with stains. Inside, your subject slumbers in a completely white room, perfectly empty except for a wooden chair. Stretching your hands, you settle down in the thick easy chair, making sure to get comfortable before you begin your work.

 

A small green button near the right corner of the panel sends three low blasts into the room. They are unearthly, like the sounds of the undead, roasting in the lowest pits of Hell itself, groaning and grunting. BRING…BRING…BRING. With a start, your prisoner awakes, looking around the room in confusion. Shrieking, he leaps off the chair and runs at the panel, bashing it once, twice, three times! Each time, he slides off, leaving rivulets of blood oozing down.

 

You smile and deliberately turn a crank in the center of the panel, savoring the way it immediately responds to the gentlest of motions. At first, nothing appears to be happening. The man simply continues to whimper and moan, scanning the area for some means of escape. Suddenly, he began to sweat. A flash of mortal terror flashes across his face as he realizes what is going on.

 

You continue looping the crank, beaming as the temperature soars. Before long, the man is no longer running. Weak from the torridity, he is curled up, gasping for air. Sweat soaks his entire frame, collecting on the ground in a fetid pool. Showing no pity, you continue.

 

After two agonizing minutes, the edges of his ill-fitting orange jumpsuit begin to spark. The boiling air burns away the pool of perspiration in enormous clouds. His skin begins to melt away, leaving only a charred skeleton. Soon enough, even that becomes ashes. A maroon button near the upper portion of your panel sends a miniature robot out, vacuuming up the dusty remains.

 

With an air of relief, you bounce out of your chair and leave the room, briskly making your way through the hallway. As you exit the building and head into the outside world, you toss your stolen key away. Freedom is yours, once again.

A/N: Don’t read scary stories before bedtime, kids. You’ll wake up and write stuff like this.

Book Musings- Joyride by Anna Banks


It has been an incredibly long time ever since my last post and my last book review in general. This is due in part to simple laziness, school work, ending high school, beginning college, forgetting ideas for posts, and simply getting distracted by other things. However, one book that I recently finished has given me some food for thought. I do not know if I will continue to make book review posts in the future, but it is a possibility. As long as a book gives me plenty of things to write about, I would like to discuss it.

Joyride by Anna Banks:

Goodread’s description:

“A popular guy and a shy girl with a secret become unlikely accomplices for midnight pranking, and are soon in over their heads—with the law and with each other—in this sparkling standalone from NYT-bestselling author Anna Banks.

It’s been years since Carly Vega’s parents were deported. She lives with her brother, studies hard, and works at a convenience store to contribute to getting her parents back from Mexico.

Arden Moss used to be the star quarterback at school. He dated popular blondes and had fun with his older sister, Amber. But now Amber’s dead, and Arden blames his father, the town sheriff who wouldn’t acknowledge Amber’s mental illness. Arden refuses to fulfill whatever his conservative father expects.

All Carly wants is to stay under the radar and do what her family expects. All Arden wants is to NOT do what his family expects. When their paths cross, they each realize they’ve been living according to others. Carly and Arden’s journey toward their true hearts—and one another—is funny, romantic, and sometimes harsh.” 

Joyride first came out in July. It is the fourth book by Anna Banks, and her first standalone novel. At the time of this writing, I do not believe that a sequel has been announced. You may recognize the author’s name from the crew of the How To Train Your Dragon film series.

I was pleasantly surprised by Joyride. Initially, the description made me leery, as it sounded like a typical story where two teenagers from different backgrounds fall in love, despite clashing cultures and personalities. I admit, I am growing very tired of those types of realistic fiction books, as they tend to be, for lack of a better term, boring. Joyride is anything but boring. Right from the second sentence, Mrs. Banks demonstrates a knack for writing humorous dialogue and thought processes, as well as a compelling protagonist. In addition, several important topics for teenagers are addressed throughout the book, such as illegal immigration, racism, white privilege, and low-income families. Additionally, it is nice to read a YA book that features a female protagonist who is a person of color.

On the negative side, the book is told from a dual perspective. Alternating chapters will feature Carly’s point of view in the first person, and then Arden’s point of view in the third person. The difference in literary angles is mostly likely meant to avoid confusing Arden and Carly’s speaking styles, but that problem could be solved by having their names above the chapter, as commonly shown in other books. This difference in outlook also makes Arden’s chapters seem more stilted in comparison, although that could be attributed to his character.

Secondly, I am not entirely convinced that the pair would fall in love, based on several of Arden’s actions. To name a fraction of his exploits, he holds up a convenience store at gunpoint, stalks several characters, forcibly grabs Arden, and insults Carly in front of multiple people, albeit accidentally. He seems like a more likable and kindhearted character after they inevitably get together, but this could stem from Carly’s chapters now being written from the altered point of view of being attracted to him.

Lastly, some of the stereotypical gender roles in the novel irk me. At one point, Carly observes that Arden’s coffeemaker is mostly likely owned by his mother, as it’s not appropriate for someone as “manly” as him. Granted, given an earlier comment about the alleged manliness of drinking only black coffee, that may have been intended as humorous, but it still annoyed me.

Overally, I would recommend Joyride. The good points just barely outweigh the flaws, owing to the relevant social issues, humor, and diversity.

Sources: “Joyride.” Goodreads. Goodreads Inc, n.d. Web. 02 Nov. 2015. <https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22718685-joyride&gt;.

Banks, Anna. Joyride. New York: Feiwel & Friends, 2015. Print.

STORY: The Legend Of World Book Day!


NOTE: This was original published on a different website. I’m posting it here so more people can enjoy it.

A/N: It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Hooray, huzzah, callooh, callay, oh frabjous day! It’s World Book Day, so I thought I would tell you about all of the traditions associated with this most hallowed of national days.

 

The Legend Of World Book Day!

by MiscellaneousSoup

 

Beginnings: Every celebration of World Book Day begins when Skively Wellington, an extremely pompous old man, prances down the street, hurtling books at everyone! He is usually dressed in a fancy suit, complete with a top hat, monocle, and cane. Basically, imagine a taller version of Rich Uncle Pennybags, otherwise known as that guy on the Monopoly game!

 

If you don’t like the book, please tell him that you don’t like it. Use the phrase “Sir, I am afraid that I do not desire this publication! Might I please exchange it?” He will continue to throw books at you, increasing in length and weight, until you find one you like! If he throws a thesaurus at you, it means that you don’t know the proper phrasing! If he throws a bar of soap at you, it means that he has extra bars of soap and he doesn’t know what to do with them.

 

How To Celebrate: To celebrate World Book Day, any person can write a book in the following three hundred and sixty-four days of the year! Then, bind up a book and make multiple copies. After that, dress up as a giant book, complete with the appropriate binding and ink. Tie yourself to a wheelbarrow, stocked with all of the copies of your novel. Then, get a friend to shove you down the highway before they get into their costume. As you plummet down the interstate, scream “HAPPY WORLD BOOK DAY, EVERYONE!”

 

After that, you should get medical attention. By that, I don’t mean going to a hospital. No, that would be absolutely preposterous! You don’t get help from other people on World Book Day, you get help from books on World Book Day! Drag your injured person to the library and start reading every medical textbook they have. Once you are well-versed in that field, make like a  physician and heal thyself!

 

Origins: This tradition began in jolly old prehistoric times where the dinosaurs would scribble down the best places to find food on pieces of leaves, then bind them together with tar. Coincidentally, this also began the tradition of restaurant menus. However, if you want to see the first human instance, then look no further! Here is the story of Brog.

 

Brog: Brog was a caveman, as well as a dolt. He would ruin everyone’s food and trample everyone’s living space. On no more than seventeen occasions, he nearly killed the entirety of the Neanderthal population! Yes, even the ones in a different location! One day, everyone got tired with Brog, so they decided to form a task force. The task force decided to create a manuscript to knock some sense into Brog. Unfortunately, beating him in the cranium didn’t work. One Neanderthal came up with the clever idea of forcing him to read and comprehend the manuscript. It didn’t work, he grunted and threw in the tar pit. After that, things started to change, but we don’t need to get into that now.

 

Modern Traditions: Bookworms around the world have come up with a definitive list of celebration tactics!

  1. Hugging your local library.
  2. Kissing your local library.
  3. Marrying your local library.
  4. Marrying two libraries together.
  5. Marrying three or more libraries together.
  6. Building a new library.
  7. Find a factory that makes Kindles and Nooks and BURN IT TO THE GROUND!
  8. Go find a person who has a Kindle or Nook. Slap them in the face, then kick them until they pass out. Call the police to get them arrested for crimes against paper-based materials.
  9. Support independent bookstores and libraries! (This one is not a joke. I’m actually being serious, please do it. Amazon has been up to some shady things.)
  10. Put on your best Skively Wellington cosplay!
  11. Go to SkivelyCon, a convention for all things Skively Wellington! See the best cosplay and the best recreation of his birth! (He was born when the first library was created. He burst out of the reference desk with a halo-ish glow! Several people fainted, while others started bowing down to him on the spot.)
  12. Make up your own traditions and send them to me at the WordPress blog, Miscellaneous Soup.
  13. Share this comprehensive guide with your friends, family, acquaintances, and enemies!


Got any other special days that you want me to talk about? Leave ‘em in the reviews! Have a wonderful day, my friends!