Happy Purim!


Hello, blog readers. I, Karion, have just discovered that at Zarion’s Hebrew school class, they’re celebrating Purim! Also,  a famous improvisation comedy team is going to be there! I keep forgetting their name, sadly. “Crawl Something Something”, no wait! That’s it! “Crawl Space Eviction!” I’ve figured out the perfect way to gate crash, and  see the comedy club. First, I’ll dress up as Zarion. Then, I’ll dress up as Webhead a.k.a. Spider-Man! By the way, Zarion has a silly-looking new pet. Here’s a glimpse of it.

Announcing...Lil'(/Little) Mutton!!!

 

 

 

Congratulations!!!!!! You have found the story!!!

Orangey Rickshaw’s Horrifying Tale

Prologue: Death?

Big Rapids is dark, and sometimes terrifying at night. It was an especially terrifying night to be outside, in the gloom. The air was filled with a musky scent, and the comic shop had an aura of despair coming from it. Yet, there was someone coming anyway. He was a small, rather-twitchy boy wearing a small, lime-green jacket, sweatpants,  and a sweat shirt with the brand name tackily stitched on the front.

“Hello?” he said, trying the door. “Is anyone there? The door’s locked. Hello? My name is Peter Smith, and I came to pick up the book I requested. The new Mega-Person comic?”

Mumbling to himself, he tried the door again, and it swung open as if it had been greased.

“That’s odd.” Peter whispered, even though he was seemingly the only one there. “It was locked before.”

As he slowly shuffled into the dank shop and turned on the light, a pair of eyes watched him, and closed the door, ever so quietly, so he wouldn’t hear it.

“Oh, here it is. Right on the counter.” Peter picked up the package.

Suddenly, the lights turned off!

“Hey, who’s there? I thought this place was empty! M-maybe the owner’s in the back room, p-playing a j-joke on me.” Peter stuttered.

“Oh, you’re not alone, Smith. Not anymore!” A raspy voice shrieked right next to his ear.

A long, drawn-out scream drowned out the rain splashing against the comic shop.

A minute later, the screaming abruptly stopped, the lights briefly flickered back on, and the “Closed” sign was put up.

Chapter One: Dangerous Games

Tzoom! Tzoom! Pasta Palace, the local hangout for the students of Pastis Middle School, was packed with kids. The alien invader arcade ganes were being played with excessively loud “Tzooms!”, Pac-Man was being mobbed by a group of classic video game lovers, and absolutely no food was eaten. Even so, the owner, Steve Blinsky, didn’t mind.

Whenever a customer would ask him why he tolerated this, he good-naturedly replied, “I don’t mind. These kids are my best customers. Anyway, they always end up getting some food. Either way, through quarters or food money, I maintain a steady business.”

Sure enough,  everyone was gravitating to the tables. Everyone, that is, except, for one person. Josh Peterson always stayed to chat with Steve, because they were friends, Steve always had the latest news on what’s going on in the town, and Steve was his grandfather.

“So, Grandpa, do you have any news for me?” Josh asked as he slid into one of the red, comfortable booths.

“Just the one today, I’m afraid.” Grandpa Steve said. “Did you hear about the murder last night? Some kid went to Kerry the Kangaroo’s Komic Shop to pick up a new comic book he put on  hold and never came back.”

“Then how do you know that he was murdered?” Josh queried.

“The screams. Mrs. Prezianto heard someone screaming. But, let’s talk about something more cheerful. I just invented a new recipe!”

Steve was famous for his concoctions. Every time a new pizza, juice, or miscellaneous fruit combination appeared on the ever-changing menu, people mobbed the shop in order to be the first customers. They were so eager, in fact, that the new recipe usually sold out within the first five minutes. Fortunately, Grandpa Steve had already appointed Josh the Official Food Tester, so he usually got to be the first person to test the new recipe.

 

Goodbye forever, (fragmented) baby tooth!


Well, this is it. D-Day. Doomsday. One of the worst things that has ever happened to me in my entire life. Here’s a list, to rove it to you. (Also, this my special 275 post O’ Happiness!!) Be prepared to have lots of fun reading this, while I get a tooth forcibly yanked out of my mouth at the dentist.

The Top Ten/10 Worst Things That Have Ever Happened To Me In My Entire Life 😦

1. Camp Ramah A.K.A. The Dreaded Sleep-Away Camp of No Pretzels(TDS-ACNP) AND Getting my teeth yanked out at the dentist.

2. Nearly drowning when I was taking a shower on vacation. (See “We Interrupt This Spoof For A Special Announcement”)

3. Karion taking over this blog.

4. Estimating things in math.

5. The anticipation of having to wait to find out if I’m going to have a good report card.

6. The anticipation of having to wait to see if I’m going to get on the “Honor Roll”.

7. The anticipation of having to wait to see if I’m finally the “Student of the Month”. I’ve never been the “Student of the Month” in seventh grade, so far. 😦

8. Coming home from Camp Ramah to find out that Momicon hasn’t gotten my books on hold at the library that she had time to get, but didn’t.

9. A new book was one of the previously mentioned books on hold.

10. Medicine for the dentist, which makes me “calm.”
A Haiku About My Dentist Woes 

Oh, no! The dentist!

I don’t want to lose my teeth!

Maybe I should run!!

I’m back. I had to drink that disgusting medicine. Technically, it was the “pain” medicine AND the “calm” medicine. So, in about an hour, I should be calm. Or, as Momicon calls it, loopy. This will most be likely be my last blog post of the day. Speaking of which, I won’t be doing a post on Saturdays until Shabbat ends. Now, onto the topic of this portion of the 275th blog post. Our science teacher thought that it would be fun to have a board game called “Zig Zag.” I don’t know his version of it, but here’s my version.(Note: This could be a game show on my blog, as well as a board game.) There’ll be a huge board with zig-zags all around it. One player will be the hunter, and the rest of the players will be deer. You have to “hide” on the board, and then you have to pick a card. If it says that the hunter finds you, too bad. Your game piece will be disqualified. The game piece who can hide the longest wins. Needless to say, this is some sort of warped hide-and-seek/hunting/any board game where you have to move game pieces combination.

The Structure of…What Happens in My Imagination When You Get A Tooth Taken Out(If you are scared of getting a tooth taken out, like me, do not read this next blog post.)

1.  The dentist locks you in a dungeon, and forces you to lie down. Then, he glues you to the floor.

2. Then, he takes a jackhammer/ pneumatic drill, and drills through your tooth.

3. He takes the tooth out. (In case you’re wondering, YES, I DID HAVE TROUBLE SLEEPING LAST NIGHT. Thank you for listening. Sorry if you have a dentist thing coming up soon.

Hey, Toothy! Oh, great. Karion’s here. You can’t do any more posts on this blog. Why? I still have at least 2 left. I haven’t been keeping track. For one thing, I want you to leave. I own this blog now. Also, you’re going to the dentist. I’m predicting that you’ll be so loopy from the medicine that you’ll forget about this blog which is now MINE!!!!!!! Drat. (S.E. Time!!!! <Sound Effects!!> Boot! Crash!!) That’s all for this post!!! Here’s the final comment, EVER, from Zarion. Oh, come on! Even Rat, from Pearls Before Swine is having a better day then me! Look! (His poor aunt. 😦 )

Karion’s Theory of Relativity


Hello.  I talked about myself in the third(or is it first?)person in the title. Here’s my three laws for it.

Rule #1: Other people are boring*(especially Zarion), so all conversations will be about me.

Rule #2: The earth is akin to the greatest force in history, so naturally it should revolve around me!!!! ME, ME, ME, ME, ME!!!!! Other people are unfit to have the Earth revolve around them.**

Rule #3: You will only read this blog, that is, after I finally get Zarion to leave this blog. Maybe the Tickler 6000 could do the trick.***

*All of Karion’s views are not the views of other bloggers. So, you can sue the other bloggers even if they haven’t done anything wrong, but you can’t sue Karion. Written by Karion’s lawyer.

**Actually, he’s right. Some people just don’t have the right to have the world revolve around them. Again, see first footnote. Written by Karion’s lawyer.

***Help me! It’s me, Zarion! I’m masquerading as the third asterisk/footnote. Save me! I hope that Karion doesn’t find out about this, and count as one of my five posts of the for the decade.

To quote Garfield, I hate Mondays.


Hello. Karion changed the theme again, and I kind of like it. It actually shows you where to subscribe. Anyway, here’s why I hate Mondays. (Or at least today.)

1) I went to the dentist, which is an entire entry in itself.

2) I didn’t have any cavities again( 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 ), but I do have three little baby teeth that won’t come out. So, I’ll have to get one out this Friday, and the other two out on March 12th. ( 😦 😦 😦 😦 )

3) The first time some kids were throwing around an ice pack at my table, it knocked my milk over, and spilled onto some of my precious books. (They are completely okay now. )

4) The second time it happened, my books and lunch bag were practically knocked off of the lunch table.

5) THE DANGITY-DANG THIRD TIME IT HAPPENED, IT HIT ME IN THE KNEE!! MY KNEE IS STILL HURTING, AND IT THROBS WHEN I STAND UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Which is ironic, because ice packs are supposed to help people, not injure them. At least I’m not having garbage put on me, like this poor, little unicorn.

I am a genius.


Zarion must have told you about my special rule. Because of that ruile, I am going to change this blog’s theme until I find it satisfactory. Right now, I greatly enjoy it. It’s perfect for my evil plan! Uh, I mean, it’s perfect for my “Fine Literature” plan. More stupid stories coming up soon!