Hello, I want to put some culture and fine literature into this rag. So, here’s 101 of Karion’s Stupidly Weird Stories, which is another phase in my gradual plan to destroy, uh, I mean, change this pitiful blog.
Story #1: Bob went to the store. He bought marshmallows. He went home.
Story #2: Joe ate a garden hose. It turned him into a toad-eating mongoose.
Story #3: Syrika kept laughing at the word “mongoose.” I turned her into a mongoose. She’s laughing right now.
Story #4: Billybob-JoeMcStinkyPAnts’s name was embarrassing. He changed it to OhnoIjustwetmypants.
Story #5: The dod ate a bone. His owner had to get a new arm bone. Ouch.
Story #6: I ate hot dogs and pickles. I was happy. I burped.
Story #7: Tim’s pants were on fire. He couldn’t find a hose. To be continued…
Story #8: Tim found a large barrel. He dumped it over his body. It was liquid nitrogen. Poor Tim.
Story #9: Jim liked flowers. He sniffed one. A giant bee came out, and stung him repeatedly.
Story #10: Mary once ate 100 lemons in a row. Now, her face is stuck in a “Sour Face.”
Story #11: Bobby ate a bee. His insides were stung so much, that he started to swell up like a balloon. Then, he popped. The bees survived.
Story #12: Joe, Tim, and Igor all went to the new 3-D movie, Attack of the Teenager-Eating Slugs. Only some shoes and a pile of slime could be found.
Story #13: Dirk was a fireman. He was bad at his job. Once, he burned Kool-Aid at a water convention,and couldn’t find anything to use for putting out the fire.
Story #14: George was a reckless baby orangutang. He ran out into the street to see what would happen. Poor George.
Story #15: Agnes wanted to get rid of her pimples. Agnes used a flamethrower. As you can see, Agnes isn’t very bright.
Story #16: Bobby Joe wanted to eat a pineapple. So, Bobby Joe ate a pineapple. We’re still trying to get the thorns out of her.
Story #17: I ate a pretzel. I thought it was good. I ate another one.
Story #18: Michael’s pants were slowly being devoured. Michael should never have bought the wooden pants, underwear, shirt, and socks.
Story #19: Jimmy licked a monkey. The monkey ate him. Poor Jimmy, the zookeepers have warned him five times already about the dangers of licking monkeys.
Story #20: Zoe decided to swim in the local swimming pool. Unfortunately, she didn’t pay attention to the “Pool Being Drained” sign. She thought that it was a joke. Zoe isn’t very bright,either.