Going to a Wedding, Part One: Of Convenience Stores and Baby Looney Tunes OR Convenience Store Science


“Convenience” is, in my opinion, an overused word. Also, why are convenience stores convenient if they’re just gas stations with a fancy name? It’s not that I don’t like convenience stores, but whycan’t they just be called “gas station restuarants/supermarkets/ice cream shop/Krispy Kreme(not a typo)places/emergency bathroomss? It has a ring to it, right? Also, I did a scientific study in a “convenience store” and my results were not g0od. Here’s what I did:

My Hypothesis: Convenience stores never have good kids movies.

Research: I  looked through a box full of movies.

Result: I found horrible m0vies that would give me nightmares(such as Psycho 3 and something that looked like Barney or Teletubbies or even (shudder) Comfy Couch. Comfy Couch and Reading Rainbow are the only shows that I hate more than Barney. Why would zi hate Reading Rainbow? Simple. No Harry Potter books were mentioned, as far as I know.

I had mentioned Baby Looney Tunes, right? Here’s the scoop on thay. I was at a wonderful convenience store which smelled like freshly baked soft pretzels, and in one of th0se money wasting, use-a-claw-to-hrab-a-toy things, I saw cute toys. Specifically, Ziggy(from the copmic strip), Baby Road Runner(Meep, meep! It’s the classic Looney Tunes character), Baby Bugs Bunny(Eh, what’s up, doc?), Baby Marvin the Martian(Where is the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shaking kaboom!), and other cute stuffed animals. I am the proud owner of…….exactly none of them, because those games are money wasters. Sorry if there’s any typos, and that this monologu of my trip will have to be finished when I’m home again.

Zarion out.

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