Green Thumb’s Column: Valentine’s Day


As you know, I have started up my new and improved column again. Send me your questions/topics, and I will answer them as clearly as I can. For now, I shall offer my opinion on the red heart holiday.

I love it!

This year, a secret admirer gave me 20,000 valentines, a rose, and a can of liquid pretzels to ward off Tigerboy. He’s still mad at me for insulting him. For more on that, see the most recent blog post.  You do realize that you sent those valentines to yourself last year, you stole the  rose from someone’s trash, and the bug spray actually is a real valentine. Try it. Okay. (PPPPSSSSHHHHHHHH-ZZZZAAAAPPPPPP!) Liquid electricity. How clever. You, Tigerboy, are the master of tricks, but I WILL get you back! I’ll believe that when Uncle Ponypants gets a job. Hey,  everybody, guess what? I got a job at the local car wash! I’m the Chief Executive Assistant of Guarding the Parking Lot. That’s just a trick to get you to pay them money. It’s in your contract. Hey! Are you forgetting who’s column this is? Are you? Get out of here! I’m running out of time! Zarion gave me a limited amount of time to do this blog! I need to at least end with an inspiring-

TIME IS UP.

Automatic: Zarion out.

Braces, A Surprise Big Enough to Vaporize Your Sock Drawer, Green Thumb’s Column, and the Wild, Wild, West(Goodbye forever, chances of this blog having sophisticated humor!)Part 3(and the final part)


So, I covered the braces, the surprise that turned out to be the Phineas and Ferb parody, but I still need to cover- Green Thumb’s here! Hello, my adoring audience. Ahem. Sorry. Anyway, Green Thumb’s column will continue to run, because he finally paid the money. Those pesky bills from the Zarion Blogging Corporation. Also, here’s a little more information on the- Zarion? You already mentioned it. Yeah, for once, I agree with the smelly hairball.  Hey! Wait, wait, wait. When exactly did I mention it? Right here.

COMING SOON:

Rate This

I have done the Phineas and Ferb parody, and the mentions of Green Thumb and the wild, wild, west was a teaser for an incredible event. It. Will. Be.

Big.

Don’t miss this story-fantasabala, coming tomorrow.

Hint: Zarion Kreena. Sensational Superclub+Wild, Wild West=Wizard of Oz+Harry Potter= A crossover SO BIG it’ll take 9,000 or more words to complete it. I guarentee it.

Zarion out.

P.S. Loopy medicine=gone

I forgot. Maybe it was because Nathan came over. The movie was fun. It’s ALMOST complete. You’re forgetting something. No, he’s not. Yes, he is. NO. YES. No. Yes. Yes. Oh, so we agree. Oh, come on. That trick works for a stupid rabbit, but not for an intelligent monkey? What were you saying about rabbits? Oh, heh,  I didn’t see you there, Lucky. Rabbits are wonderful, see? I’m wearing a rabbit suit right now! Now, I’ve got you, you wascally wabbit! AAAIIIIEEEE!!! Eh, what’s up, doc? Thanks for inviting me over, Zarion. You’re welcome, and Tigerboy’s right. Does anyone remember “The Gauntlet?” That Spider-Man storyline? Well, yesterday at the library, I found book one.

Hooray! Moose pajamas, and a book!

 

Zarion-Oh, wait, another thing. See you in The Looney Tunes Show, Bugs. Bye.

Zarion out.