A Miscellaneous Soup Personality Quiz


Question 1: When were you born?

A: I was never born.

B: I am a ghost.

C: July 4, 1776.

D: Whenever you say I was

 E: Donkuary 189th. Planet Potter of the Harry time.

Question 2: How many fingers am I holding up? (Note: As Zarion is missing, I’m the person asking the first-person questions. -Tigerboy)

A: None

B: How can we tell what fingers you’re holding up?

C: I don’t want to know.

D: 1,000.

E: Two, and you’re mouthing the word “peace.” Nerd. 

Question 3: Who will win the Presidential Election of 2012 in Miscellaneous Soup, Inc.?

A: Mr. Ponypants

B: Bob the Eyeball

C: Woofles

D: A dead rat. Hey, he/she can’t be worse than Zarion!

E: Zarion. He’s the dictator. 

Question 4: In  a perfect world, what would you eat for breakfast?

A: The rotting corpses of everyone who didn’t survive.

B: My own rotting corpse, for I am a zombie.

C: Silly! Everyone knows that these answers don’t make sense!

D: Bananas

E: Pancakes from (NAME OF RESTAURANT DELETED TO AVOID PRODUCT PLACEMENT)

Question 5: What is Zarion’s first law if he gets reelected as the dictator of Miscellaneous Soup, Inc.?

A: I thought you said it was the Presidential Election of 2012!

B: “Give me pretzels or die.”

C: “Give me a copy of Nevermore: The Final Maximum Ride Adventure.”

D: “Let them eat pretzels!”

E: “Blah, blah, blah. Go have fun, and, LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!!!

Question 6: What would you rather eat?

A: A dog

B: A frog

C: A bog

D: An elf

E: A mongoose

Question 7: You have a weapon, and you are locked in a room with someone you hate. What do you do?

A: Kill them.

B: Force them to give me their lunch money.

C: Have a tea party.

D: Eat an elf.

E: Nothing. You are dreaming.

Question 8: What do elves taste like?

A: Chewy

B: Minty

C: Like a candy cane

D: You make me SICK!!!

E: Delicious

Final Question: Is this the final question?

A: No

B: Nada

C: Definitely not

D: Your breath smells like skunks and death

E: I hate you, Zarion

Question 10: Where is Zarion? No, really, we can’t find him.

A: I don’t know.

B: In New York’s sewers, writing messages for help  (Note to Self From Tigerboy: DO NOT put this in. It is false. DO NOT put this in.)

C: I am holding him hostage in exchange for money and a copy of Seinfeld Invades The Office, his famous unfinished novel.

D: What was the question?

E: TIGERBOY, YOU IDIOT! THE ANSWER IS “B”!!!!!! HELP ME!!!! THE RATS ARE GNAWING MY LIVER!!!!

Actual Final Question: Hooray! We have our first REAL, not related to the authors, subscriber! What is his/her username?

A: eof737

B: A is the right answer

C: See above

D: See above

E: New subscriber? FINALLY!!!

IF YOU ANSWERED….

 

*All A’s….You are not a Miscellaneous Soup reader. You only come here for Green Thumb’s column. 😦

*All B’s…. You browse through the blogs. 😦 😦

* All C’s….You are a partial expert.

*All D’s…You’re new here, aren’t you?

*All E’s….You found the hidden answers for what I would do!!!!! :0 YOU COULD WRITE THIS BLOG!!!! (Note from Tigerboy: This was Zarion’s blog. I only wrote the one question,after  he disappeared. Tigerboy out.)

Green Thumb’s Column: Happy Birthday, Charles Dickens! (And the Artful Dodger, Oliver Twist, etc.)


Well, that’s really all that can be said. I love your books, they are incredible well-written. You have engaging plots, interesting characters, and a brilliant way of using voice, word choice, and diction to reveal things about your characters. Of course, most authors do that, but you’re especially brilliant. I applaud you, good sir. You, Charles Dickens, make my cynical, cynical life better and sweeter. Oh, Oliver Twist! Ebenezer Scrooge! Bob Cratchit! Marley! Fezzewig! Wackford Squeers! Hooray, hooray, hooray. Now, I bid you a pleasant, “Good day.”

Weekend Update With Zarion Kreena


Zarion: No, I am not dead. I had an accident involving sewer rats, butter, Yakima, and potato ice cream. Suffice it to say that I am now working as a street mime in Colorado. Uncle Murray quit, so I’m writing the posts now. Zarion the transcript writer. (laughs nervously) Anyway, I’m trying to earn money to fly to the location of the Miscellaneous Soup headquarters. In the mean time, a song parody to earn cash.

Oh Oh Ohhhh Ohhhhh.
Oh Oh Ohhhh Ohhhhh.
Oh Oh Ohhhh Ohhhhh.Help me out,
I’m begging you.
For all the comedians,
I’m desperate.
When you’re a street mime.

 

(music stops)

Zarion: CUT!! Basically, I’m desperate for your help, you need to save my life. Uh, oh, I just remembered. (turns pale) It’s the Super Bowl, so no one’s listening! NOOOOOOOOO!!! Zarion out……