Happy 600th Post, Miscellaneous Soup!!!THE


Zarion: I can’t believe I made it to 600 posts. Wow. Anyway, it’s time for a celebration! Tigerboy?

Tigerboy: (pulls back curtain) Announcing…fan mail! The one drawback is, we don’t have any fans, so it’s just mail! Letter 1:

Dear Zarion,

Your blog stinks.

Sincerely,

Bob

Zarion: Well, that isn’t very nice. Tsk. tsk. Next letter. I’ll read it, this time.

Dear The PIIIIIIIG,

Please run for president! I hate Zarion 😉

Tigerboy: (laughing) Hooray! Hooray! We love you, anonymous person!

Zarion:…..I hate you.  Next letter.

Dear Tigerboy,

Why do you put up with Zarion? He sounds like a jerk with bad breath!

From,

Bobo the Talking Charcoal Patty

Zarion: I THOUGHT WE WERE CENSORING THESE LETTERS! Who did I put in charge of that?

(camera cuts to Cuddles)

Cuddles: (stares at all the letters, looks at them….licks them) Appwooved!

(camera cuts to Zarion)

Zarion: Okay…..next letter.

Dear Zarion,

Why do Cuddles, Lucky, Jeremy, and Happy work for you? Isn’t that child/baby abuse?

Sincerely,

Concerned Person

P.S. Insult my name and perish.

Tigerboy: I’m going to run away now……POLICE! HE KIDNAPPED ME AND FORCED ME TO DO THIS!!!! I HAVE NEVER EVEN USED HIS TOOTHBRUSH! Well, maybe that one time. I had a bad itch on my-

Zarion: TIGERBOY!

Tigerboy: My tail. A Chihuahua was stuck to it.

Zarion: Come on, can’t I get even one polite letter? Okay, final one. I’ll read it.

Dear Miscellaneous Soup,

I think this  blog is wonderful! I love it!

Sincerely,

Bubbal

Zarion: Yay!@ Zarion out!

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Sugary Song Parody: “No Pie” (sung to the tune of “Bad Boys”)


“No Pie”

by Zarion Kreena

*Sing to the tune of “Bad Boys”

Dessert time! Coming straight from the bakery!
Banana cream pie!
I’m getting out the plates! And we’re looking for the food! No pie, no pie, whatcha gonna eat?
Whatcha gonna eat when the pie is missing??
No pie, no pie, whatcha gonna eat?
Whatcha gonna eat when the pie is missing??
No pie, no pie, whatcha gonna eat?
Whatcha gonna eat when the pie is missing??
No pie, no pie whatcha gonna eat?
Whatcha gonna eat when the pie is missing??
I got hungry people at the table and they’re asking me
Who ate the pie, how are going to get a new one?
They’re gettin’ crazy, it’s hard to calm them all down
How should I tell them that I don’t know who did it?
You see, I’m under suspicion, I also like pie
I won a pie eating contest in under three minutes.
Groaning at the table and I’m getting panicked; What to do when the silverware starts flying?
Finding the person or get stabbed with a spork.
I’m getting really antsy

A fork whizzes past my ear, I say, “Technical difficulties!”
“And tell me, did any one of you eat the pie?”
They start to scream and raise up a fuss
I’m searching for the nearest bus!
Everyone is rioting
Tempers are getting high.
I run to the store to get another pie
I’m searching frantically, screaming, “Where’s the coconut cream?”

The cashiers gave me weird looks and I almost cry
Groceries can’t stop the pie cravings, I keep on trying!
Bakeries can’t solve my problems, I get an angry phone call from home!
Ice cream shoppes laugh at me, My family’s getting desperate!
I want to tear out my hair, but I keep on trucking! Onwards, to a gas station!
I’m screaming, “Why don’t you have pie when?” when I get a call from home
From my house, a voice screams, “COCONUT CREAM!!”
When I beg them for pie, they call me a moron
WhenI offer all  my cash, they steal my credit cards!
In the city with no pie, I’m driving through the night
Every time I pass a store, I see a sign that says, “No pie!”
Getting out my cell phone, I prepare to call home
Dreading the response I get when they pick up
They say that they forgive me, I should come home
When I see a store with pie in the windows, I simply ignore it
Confident that my family has forgiven me
going into the kitchen.
Seeing something that shocks me
My family is chowing down on pie
They lied to me!
They hid the pie, then ate it when I left
Eating the crust, savoring the cream, I didn’t get any pie! ! Waahhhhhhhhhhhh…….

Game Show: Truth or Pie


Zarion: Hey-ho, people! It’s time for a brand new game show where I ask Tigerboy uncomfortable questions, and if he fails to answer, he gets a pie in the noggin! Any comments, friend?

Tigerboy: I am not signed on for this.

Zarion: There’s that trooper spirit that comes from being a superhero! Speaking of that, why don’t you ever speak about your superhero life?

Tigerboy: (annoyed) I like to keep things personal.

Zarion: You told me your embarrassing “Chihuahua Enchilada” secret.

Tigerboy: That’s different! I never meant to turn on that teleporter!

Zarion: I have a pie right here…(waves pie menacingly) Tick, tock.

Tigerboy: (zips lips)…

Zarion: EHHHRRR!!!! (hits Tigerboy with pie) Out of time!

Tigerboy: Yum…(licks some off nose) Banana cream.

Zarion: Next question. I have heard certain…rumors about you and another Superclub member being seen at a comedy club. Her name has not been released by my spies. Details?

Tigerboy: Didn’t I tell you that I found my long lost sister?

Zarion: That person didn’t look anything like her. Pie time! (hits Tigerboy with another pie)

Tigerboy: (stony silence….ringing noise) Oh, bye. I have a call. (listens, whispers) No, no, I’m helping Zarion with a blog post. His spies have already seen you! Sorry. (listens) See you later.

Zarion: New question: Were you talking to the same mysterious person?

Tigerboy: No comment.

Zarion: Final question. Is her name Kate?

(Tigerboy’s eyes widen)

Zarion: My spies are very effective.

Tigerboy: Just hit me with the pie.

Zarion: (hits Tigerboy with a pie) That’s our show! Goodnight, and happy Pi Day!

 

Green Thumb’s Column: Pi Day


This is the one “holiday” that I really enjoy. As a math, pie, and pun lover, this day satisfies all of my requirements for a holiday. Education, dessert, and bad jokes. Not Silicon’s, though. But, I digress. Anyway, here’s some background on Pi Day. 3.14 is approximately the first three digits of pi. March 14th is 3/14. Therefore, we eat pie as a celebration, and a good excuse to eat pie. Some people believe that in three year, it will be Ultimate Pi Day (my affectionate term for it), because the date will be 3-14-15, otherwise known as 3.1415. Well, whatever you believe, just have fun eating pie, either today, or this weekend! Cheers!

A Happy Holidays From Miscellaneous Soup


Zarion: Hi, esteemed colleagues. Courtesy of an Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader, I learned that today is National Panic Day. As a gift to you all, here’s a reason to panic.

(Tigerboy jumps into view)

Tigerboy: I’VE HAD SUGAR!!!!!!! AHA!

Zarion: Oops, wrong thing. HAPPY, WHERE ARE YOU?

(Cuddles pops up)

Cuddles: I’ve been cooking!

Zarion: Uh, oh. That’s all the time we have, bye! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

(Giant wall of ooze slams into camera, camera person runs away)