Sugary Song Parody: “No Pie” (sung to the tune of “Bad Boys”)


“No Pie”

by Zarion Kreena

*Sing to the tune of “Bad Boys”

Dessert time! Coming straight from the bakery!
Banana cream pie!
I’m getting out the plates! And we’re looking for the food! No pie, no pie, whatcha gonna eat?
Whatcha gonna eat when the pie is missing??
No pie, no pie, whatcha gonna eat?
Whatcha gonna eat when the pie is missing??
No pie, no pie, whatcha gonna eat?
Whatcha gonna eat when the pie is missing??
No pie, no pie whatcha gonna eat?
Whatcha gonna eat when the pie is missing??
I got hungry people at the table and they’re asking me
Who ate the pie, how are going to get a new one?
They’re gettin’ crazy, it’s hard to calm them all down
How should I tell them that I don’t know who did it?
You see, I’m under suspicion, I also like pie
I won a pie eating contest in under three minutes.
Groaning at the table and I’m getting panicked; What to do when the silverware starts flying?
Finding the person or get stabbed with a spork.
I’m getting really antsy

A fork whizzes past my ear, I say, “Technical difficulties!”
“And tell me, did any one of you eat the pie?”
They start to scream and raise up a fuss
I’m searching for the nearest bus!
Everyone is rioting
Tempers are getting high.
I run to the store to get another pie
I’m searching frantically, screaming, “Where’s the coconut cream?”

The cashiers gave me weird looks and I almost cry
Groceries can’t stop the pie cravings, I keep on trying!
Bakeries can’t solve my problems, I get an angry phone call from home!
Ice cream shoppes laugh at me, My family’s getting desperate!
I want to tear out my hair, but I keep on trucking! Onwards, to a gas station!
I’m screaming, “Why don’t you have pie when?” when I get a call from home
From my house, a voice screams, “COCONUT CREAM!!”
When I beg them for pie, they call me a moron
WhenI offer all  my cash, they steal my credit cards!
In the city with no pie, I’m driving through the night
Every time I pass a store, I see a sign that says, “No pie!”
Getting out my cell phone, I prepare to call home
Dreading the response I get when they pick up
They say that they forgive me, I should come home
When I see a store with pie in the windows, I simply ignore it
Confident that my family has forgiven me
going into the kitchen.
Seeing something that shocks me
My family is chowing down on pie
They lied to me!
They hid the pie, then ate it when I left
Eating the crust, savoring the cream, I didn’t get any pie! ! Waahhhhhhhhhhhh…….

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