Zarion: Hello, everyone. We decided to hire Katy Perry to sing “Fireworks” as a tribute to Independence Day.
Tigerboy: The holiday, not the movie.
Zarion: However, we didn’t have the money to hire her. Introducing, Caty Parry, singing “Fireworks”. It’s a different version, because Katy Perry threatened to sue us. Hit it, Caty!
Caty Parry: Do you feel like celebrating
Cooking hot dogs and exploding things
Do you ever feel, feel, so patriotic
Well, you should, because it’s the Fourth of July!
Did you put up your American flag?
Check out the Google doodle, it’s really neat
If you didn’t, there’s still a chance for you
Just click this link: http://www.google.com
Just cook the food and visit the parades
Just own the night, BECAUSE IT’S THE FOURTH OF JULY!
Tigerboy: Drum solo time! (starts doing an awesome guitar solo)
Caty Parry: ‘Cause, baby, it’s the Fourth of July!
Come on, celebrate its worth!
Make the crowd go, “Ooh, ahhh, whoa!”
As they shoot across the sky!
Give everyone fireworks!
Let your patriotism burst!
Make them go, “Ooh, wow, cool!”
You’re gonna leave them clapping!
This holiday is not a waste of space!
The Declaration of Independence can not be replaced!
But it was amended….multiple times!
Zarion: Uh, Caty, this doesn’t really seem like a patriotic song parody anymore. Are you even following the tune?
Tigerboy: Like you do SOOOO much better with following the tune.
Zarion: Good point.
Caty Parry: Today, in his diary, King George the Third wrote
“Nothing of importance happened today!”
But, we all know, that’s a lie
The Declaration of Independence was signed!
You just gotta read your textbook
And learn about history
Cause, baby, you’re a historian!
Learning makes history come alive!
Da da da da LA LA LA
DA DA DA DA DA
Zarion: Now she’s just humming the tune.
Caty Parry: Happy Fourth of July, everyone! (leaves the studio)
Zarion: The song’s not even over yet.
Green Thumb: I’ll take care of that! Music! (Tigerboy plays the drums)
America, you’re a country
Not a wish or dream
Make us go, “Yeah! Woo-hoo!”
As we repay the National Debt!
Zarion: Green Thumb? I hate to interrupt, but that’s not quite what we’re looking for.
Cuddles: Hey, evewyone! Wemember me? I’m Cuddles, the baby ewephant!
Boom, boom, boom
Even bwighter than the moon, moon, moon
It’s always been inside of you, you, you
And now it’s time to wet it twough!
Zarion: That’s the real lyrics! Okay, I have an idea.
Zarion, Green Thumb, Tigerboy, Cuddles, Caty Parry: (singing) ‘Cause, baby, it’s a Fourth of July special edition!
Come on, show us what we’re worth!
Read this blog, blog, blog
As you subscribe- it’s free!
Baby, this is one- weird- blog!
Come on, do something that’s actually relevant!
Make us laugh, laugh, laugh
Instead of getting totally off-topic
Boom, boom, boom!
Even louder than construction!
Boom, boom, boom!
It’s fireworks, fireworks, fireworks!
Zarion: And that ends our song. We’re sorry that this has turned out to be completely off-topic, but our point got across. Essentially, it’s the Fourth of JUly! Go out, have fun, barbecue food, and watch fireworks. Just don’t set them off at the middle of the night. Please.