Zarion: Howdy! It’s time for the world’s MOST DANGEROUS game show- Modeo! The object is to mow lawn and stay on your bull. The bulls have knives attached to their feet, so the lawn is mowed. All three contestants are in their own separate lawns. You have to mow your lawn perfectly and NOT get killed. Seriously. The sponsors tend to get skittish when that happens. Our unlucky contestants are Tigerboy, Green Thumb, and Bob the Eyeball. Any last words before you start, contestants?
Tigerboy: I hate you.
Green Thumb: The next person who says, “Gee, Green Thumb, you’ll do great in this! After all, your name IS Green Thumb” gets a wedgie/noogie hybrid called a nedgie. That’s stereotyping based on names!
Bob The Eyeball: I can’t hold onto the bull. I have no arms.
Zarion: (fires a paintball gun into the sky) And they’re off! (paintball falls on Bob the Eyeball)
(Green Thumb’s bull tries to buck him off, but he clings on. Tigerboy slips slightly, and gets his tail nipped by a blade. Bob the Eyeball, blinded from the paintball, instantly falls into the blades.)
Zarion: And we have our first elimination! That ends this round. Tigerboy’s lawn has zig-zags all over it, and Green thumb’s is half shaved. Green Thumb, you win Round 1! Now, to take a commercial break.
Announcer: Do you like pie? Well, TOO BAD. You can’t have some. What about cake? Well, you can’t have any of that, either! NO FOOD FOR YOU! NO (CENSORED) FOOD FOR YOU! IF I CAN’T EAT, YOU CAN’T EITHER! I’m Jim, and I am a proud user of Gentle Billy’s Dieting System, perfectly created to make you happy.
Zarion: And we’re back! The next challenge is to repair Bob’s broken, injured body. Use any materials!
Green Thumb: (pastes band-aids over Bob)
Tigerboy: (creates a healing machine)
Zarion: Green Thumb wins!
Tigerboy: WHAT?????? I HEALED HIM COMPLETELY! Green Thumb just sloppily pasted band-aids on Bob! Some of them are covered in spit, and potentially toxic. What factor could have POSSIBLY influenced your decision?
Zarion: Better bed-side treatment. This has been Modeo! I’m Zarion, and have a great night!