Zarion:It’s Saturday night, and it’s time to party! Welcome to Miscellaneous Soup, where the SNL review can be rambling, but descriptive!
Tigerboy: Remember me? I’m the cohost of Miscellaneous Soup! Anyway, Zarion received some feedback from the crew here. The main complaint was that the descriptions were good for warning of dirty jokes, but bad for actually giving the plots. So, after Zarion describes the sketches, I will say what they were about, and I’ll try my best to avoid spoilers. For the musical guest, I’ll say what song the band (in this case, Mumford & Sons) played.
Zarion: And I’ll do what I usually do. Ramble, and help alert about dirty jokes. So, let’s enjoy the party and have some fun watching Saturday Night Live!
Host: Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Why he’s hosting: A movie called Looper
Musical Guest: Mumford & Sons
Why they are playing: Reason unknow (S0rry!)
Cold Opening: “Live With Kelly and Michael” Jay Pharoah is hilarous. “I just can’t believe this is a job!” “It’s like I’m living the life of a rich bear!” Hooray for Vanessa Bayer! “That’s why I stopped blinking!” HILARIOUS picture! Great! A Twilight parody! Bill Hader is Robert Patterson! I miss the sketches with Amy Poehler playing Kelly Ripa, but oh well. “When I’m down in the dumps, which happened twice. ” Ha! Bill Hader, sometimes I’m like this *sad face* and sometimes I’m like this *sad face*. Jay Pharoah! “We’re getting paid to do this??” It;s over? Could have been longer. C+
Monologue: Yep. Looper and The Dark Knight Rises were mentioned. Okay, weird dancing, smoke machines, and lights. What’s going on? What’s Magic Mike? I’m assuming that it’s a movie. Okay, this is getting dirty. This must have been in the movie. Why is this funny? Okay. Pieces of paper. It’s over????? F
Undecided Voter: HA! “What are the names of the two people voting?” “Who’s President right now?” “Can women vote?” This is hilarious! Stupid voters! “Just what is oil?” “If you burp, fart, and sneeze at the same time, will you die?” This is great. A
Caricacture Detective: Bill Hader is funny. Okay, this is starting out looking like a normal parody. Joseph sounds like Plankton from Spongebob. Ha! The photos are caricatures! That’s funny! “Guilty as charged..” Ewww….Dirty caricature. That’s a funny drawing of a monster…Wait, it’s over? TOO SHORT! C
Son of The Most Interesting Man In The World: “When he tips, he puts a negative amount.” “He has multiple parody Twitter accounts.” Ha! His father sees him! Again, really? This was mildly good the first time. Okay, swearing. Bad words. I don’t like this. More swearing. D-
Tommy Berganon, Hypnotist: This seems good. “You, sir! The gentleman avoiding my gaze!” Still seems good…HA! The nam is behind him, mocking him! I love this! Best. Sketch. So. Far. That’s a funny dinosaur impression! Ewww…..Okay, two sketches with this…YAY! Dinosaur impression again! Okay…mating impression…Hey, that’s Aidy Bryant! FEMALE DINOSAUR IMITATION!! HAHAHAHAHAH! Yay for Kenan Thompson! Now he really gets hypnotized! “I’m cheating on my wife with my sister!” HAHAHA! Now the man and his wife are mocking him! Okay, some dirtiness. Eh. Still relatively good. B-
GOP T******: Eww…..Dirty sketch. I’m assuming that it’s dirty. Please, make this stop. I’m just going to edit out the word, even though it’s not a swear word. This is a dirty sketch that would be better suited for Seth McFarlane! EWWW! Oh, good, it;s over. F- – –
Musical Performance #1: I think I hear the banjo! No, wait, it’s the banjo. I like the banjo. Music is good. I can’t really hear the lyrics, but I’ll look them up to see if they’re dirty. Hooray for the banjo! Read the lyrics…I enjoyed that. The song was sad, but good. A
Weekend Update: Funny joke.”He claimed 47% of Americans as dependents…” Ha! Ewww…”Hey, who likes soup?” Yeah! A new segment! “What are you doing?” “Hey, everybody, remember my campaign slogan? Yeah….I can’t do that.” Joe Biden betting his life savings…Seth Meyers is funny! “Look, if you make a Facebook page, we’ll like it! That’s the least we can do! It’s also the most we can do!” New Jersey insult. The two best friends segment again….Mildy funny at best. Let’s hope it gets better this time. Okay, this is funny. Ha! “Seth, it’s sort of like you feel about the new cast members!” What?? Someone who dresses up as Elmo? “A hundred rats working together…” “Wow, I can’t wait to read that, said 1998.” Cool! Ann Romney! Is it the real person? I doubt it. This is funny. Who’s playing her?? Racist joke. Bad. Oh, it’s Kate McKinnon playing her. Yay! She’s funny. YAAAYYYY! Bill Hader plays Rick Perry in a surprise appearance! Wait, that means no Stefon….Oh, well. She’s singing…This is funny! Great…more news from Paris Hilton. She is a horrible person. A cat that steals underwear? I like these stories. DId they just make a racist joke about Brad Pitt’s kids? Old man wrestling an alligator? Weird…YAY! Jay Pharoah as Steven A. Smith! “Seth, I love you, but you’re a joke.” “My mustache isn’t receding, it’s running away from my mouth.” “I know God, and he’s a dear, dear, friend of mine.” Okay, this segment is over. C+
Song Memories: Ew..dirty joke. That band looks like The Beatles. Wait, this is the “Song Memories” sketch. And Mumford & Sons make an appearance. This isn’t funny. Sad joke about Bill Hader’s character. And Joseph’s character. What song is the band playing??? It’s annoying. Now they’re dancing by the audience…and it’s over. Oh, they were a Beatles tribute band. That explains a lot. F
The Finer Things: Hooray! Kenan Thompson and Jay Pharoah! Ha! The song names are funny. I’m confused. Hey, Anne Hathaway was mentioned. I think she hosted. Oh! CAMEO! Who is it??? “Scardigan..” That’s a funny name. They keep saying “The Finer Things.” That reminds me of a cheap version of Wayne’s World. Sketch is over. Was that a cameo? Hmmm…F
Musical Performance #2: I like the piano playing, as well as the guitar. I like this. Once again, I’m going to look up the lyrics. Okay….I really like their playing. OKay. I don’t understand the lyrics this time, but they seem sad. There’s no banjo this time. 😦 B+
Presenting Evelyn: HAHAHHA! Joseph is cross-dressing as a girl! That’s funny! Did they just make a dirty joke? Okay…the people are performing…WOw, they are really desperate for someone to date and marry Evelyn. This is funny. I like the music. They’re good singers…Yodeling! Yay! I’m not sure, but I think Tom Robinson is playing either Evelyn or Tom. HA! They’re firing him! Surprise twist. Good for a final sketch. B-
Powers & Powers Real Estate: Okay, apparently, THIS is the final sketch. Ewww…..This is dirty. They’re talking about crude billboard defations. I hate this. Seth McFarlane, you have defaced Saturday Night Live and make it permanently dirty! Hopefully, the next one with Daniel Craig will be better. This is really dirty. I don’t like it. F x 1,000
Good-Nights: Okay, this confirmed what I knew. No cameos. Good nights get cut off.
Best Sketch: Really, almost all of the sketches were bad, “Live with Kelly and Michael”, I guess, because it had NO DIRTY JOKES. Presenting Evelyn gets an honorable mention, because it was relatively good. Maybe part of Tommy Bergman, Hypnotist, or Caricature Detective.
Worst Sketch: Powers & Powers Real Estate, because it was dirty, unlike The Finer Things and Song Memories, which were just awful and not funny.
Best Commercial Parody: “Undecided Voter” was hilarious.
Worst Commercial Parody: Either “The Son Of The Most Interesting Man In The World” or “GOP T******”. Ugghhhhh…..
Closing Comments: I was wrong about the cameos. Powers & Powers Real Estate
Tigerboy: Now, here’s my description of the sketches. Spoilers NOT included.
Live With Kelly and Michael: Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan talk with Robert Patterson and banter.
Monologue: Joseph Gordon-Levitt performs unusual dance moves.
Undecided Voter: Questions to help undecided voters vote.
Caricature Detective: A detective spies on people in an unusual manner.
Son Of The Most Interesting Man In The World: This guy is creepy and disturbing.
Tommy Bergman, Hypnotist: Is he really hypnotized?
GOP T******: An unusual health product.
Musical Performance #1: Mumford & Sons play “Waiting For You.”
Weekend Update: As well as covering a wide range of news stories, Seth Meyers asks Barack Obama ‘What Are You Doing?”, interviews Stephen A. Smith, and Ann Romney.
Song Memories: A group of men recall their weird pasts while listening to a band.
The Finer Things: Kenan Thompson. Jay Pharoah. Weird fashion.
Musical Performance #2: “Below My Feet” was played.
**Note: I forgot to put this, but another “Son of the Most Interesting Man In The World” commercial played. I give it an F.
Presenting Evelyn: Parents really want Tom to date Evelyn.
Power and Power Real Estate: Defaced billboards. Honestly, I’m trying to make these sound good, but it’s really hard.