Update: This is my 700th post.
Zarion: Hi. I’m Zarion, and it’s time for another wonderful Saturday Night Live! As always, Tigerboy, my cohost, will give a brief description of the sketch.
Tigerboy: Enjoy. For once, they appear directly after the sketch, musical guests not included.
Host: Christina Applegate.
Why She’s Hosting: Possibly the NBC show Up All Night, which I have never watched.
Musical Guest: Passion Pit (Note from Tigerboy: Sounds like the name of a fruit-themed spa.) (Note from Zarion: Stop making comments in the information section. Save it for when we talk about the SNL episode.) (Note from Tigerboy: But you just wrote it.) (Note from Zarion:….I hate you.)
Why They’re Playing: No idea.
Cold Opening- “Vice Presidential Debate”- This looks excellent. The moderator is funny. Paul and Joe are funny, off the bat. “Your performance is extremely unlikely to affect the election.” Biden’s rudeness is hilarious. It’s just what the websites excpected. “This is a bunch of malarky!” I really like this. “Hey, do I sound like Jim Lear? And do I look like Jim Lear? Then don’t try and (censored) with me like I’m Jim Lear.” The moderator is hilarious. Paul Ryan’s smirk is hilarious. Yup, he’s drinking water obnoxiously, just like the articles’ (multiple articles) predictions. The real Paul Ryan AND the Fake Paul Ryan’s voice makes me laugh. Not to say that the real one appeared. He hasn’t appeared. “You don’t scare me, shark eyes!” Ah, Jason Suidekis. Funny. Swear word. Bad. (I’m allowing the swear word from the moderator. It was bleeped.) “No. But I can be more specific, with hand gestures.” Paul Ryan, being asked if he could elaborate. Ha! Small children are scared of his face. Why are they talking about sports? Oh, wait, talking about abortion. “We also nicknamed our second and third children ‘Bean.'” This is hilarious. Hey, is that mild character breaking from Taram Killam, as Paul Ryan? Nope. Darn. Oh, well. Huh? Cameo? Uh…Wikipedia, wikipedia. Oh. Usain Bolt, a runner in the London Olympics. Funny. JOE BIDEN RUBBED HIS SPITTY HAND ON PAUL RYAN’S HEAD! HAHAHAHA! A.
-Tigerboy’s Description: The vice-presidential debate is lampooned.
Monologue: Huh? I don’t understand sports. WOw. She was ten years old. Reference to Chris Farley as Matt Foley. Nice tribute. I sense a song. I hear music. “And not every single thing tastes like pumpkin.” Funny. She’s a good singer. “…..until Thanksgiving “heck”..” (I censored it.) Funny! The Fruppets! YAY! Kermit the Toad, Gronzo, (weird sick little rat thing.) and Fonzie the Goat. Jason Suidekis as Swedish Chef..or maybe not. He seems racist. Points down. This is simple and sweet, as in the ‘nice’ sense of the word. I really like this. “It’s a good thing you’ll be drunk.” Then Jason Suidekis comes. Funny. I really like this. This could be my dream episode. B+
-Tigerboy’s Description: Christina Applegate sings about the holidays, or lack thereof.
Proglide Style Razor: Huh? I’m confused. Are they mocking the fact that it looks like it’s endorsed by the Penn state person? Ohhhh, criminals, maybe? I’m not sure, to be honest. But it is funny that weird people are endorsing it. B-.
-Tigerboy’s Description: A confusing commercial involving a criminal.
The Californians: YES!!!!! And, they’re making up an excuse for Kristen Wiig’s absense. This is hilarious. I like their accents. Taran Killam and Bill Hader are funny. Every time I try to imitate the accents, I fail miserably. This is funny. “Ehhh, whad are yu doing here?” (Spelled wrong on purpose.) I wish this was a real soap opera. I would actually watch it. I predict that Kristen Wiig will make a cameo. I like Jason Suidekis’s Californian accent. “I have a shopping addiction.” Why are they so obsessed with directions???? Last time, in the season finale with Mick Jagger, Steve Martin made a cameo. Think it’ll happen again? I like the weird faces they make, especially Bill Hader and Kenan Thompson’s popped out eyes. Yay! Bobby Moynihan! The music is dramatically eerie. I like it. Usain Bolt made a second cameo! COOL!!!!!! B.
-Tigerboy’s Description: Wedding bells are in the air!
-Tigerboy’s Description: iPhone 5s are insulted, until guilt-inspiring actions occur.
Give Us All Our Daughters Back: This is funny. I like Jay Pharoah is Denzel Washington. Offensive joke from Mel Gibson…BAD. Urma Thurman is funny. “I’m dressed as a taxi cab.” “*talking on the phone, it crashes* Verizon.” Arnold Scwarxenegger (Bill Hader) is funny. Ewww….nudity. Side Note: The announcer sounds like Alec Baldwin. Just something I noticed. B-
-Tigerboy’s Parody: MOvie parody with funny impressions. Not much else to say.
**Side Note: HOLY PONYPANTS! IS THIS A PARODY??? NO, IT’S REAL. THIS IS A CAMPAIGN VIDEO ATTACKING ROMNEY FOR INSULTING BIG BIRD, AND IT CALLS HIM AN ‘EVIL GENIUS.’ THAT’S IT, I’M FINDING A LINK. FOUND IT. CLICK THE LINK TO SEE IT. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/09/obama-ad-mitt-romney-big-bird_n_1949942.htm
Musical Performance No. 1: Okay, I like the music. The drums are really spectacular. I can type to the beat. Well, I would, but it would be too slow, and this post would never be published. Let’s see…Passion Pit is playing “Take a Walk.” Now that I can hear the lyrics, I can tell that the phrase “take a walk” is the refrain. I like the lyrics….Hey. I just realized something. Reviewing all these songs has made me appreciate music. Hooray. That is not sarcasm, by the way. B+
Weekend Update: Okay. I have high hopes. Stefon, please…… Yup, jokes about the debate. “I think Joe Biden prepared by (unintelligible) Red Bull and watching Yosemite Sam cartoons.” “‘A bunch of stuff’ is Mitt Romney’s ecomic plan.” Cool! The founder of the Huffington Post! That website reviews SNL, by the way. Nasim Pedrad is funny. I’m guessing that it’s her. Is she saying a rude word? I’m not sure. “Oh, Sethly, my little potato pancake.” Eww….dirty word. STOP SAYING THE DIRTY WORD. Points taken off. Dirty word….Excuse me, readers, I’m a prude. Swear word. Bad. Yay! Comic-Con! “2014….that’s probably the future, man.” Yup. MOcking of Lance Armstrong’s drugs scandal. Jean K. Jean is appearing. Hooray for Kenan Thompson! I’m confused. Why is he dancing? Another Red Bull joke. “Red Bull’s original flavor…salty dishwasher.’ Funny joke about Big Bird and a campaign ad- HEY, that was the one I just linked! Cool! Wait…Weekend Update is over. No Stefon…Darn. Maybeb next time. Come on, Bill Hader! We need you to act as Stefon to make us laugh! B-
-Tigerboy’s Description: Seth Meyers makes fun of current news issues, and talks with the founder of Huffington Post and Jean K. Jean!
Odysseus’s Final Peril: Yes, I knew that they would parody the Sirens. This is actually slightly creepy. Jason Suedekis is funny. Wait…they’re singing real songs. Prediction: Passion Pit will make a cameo. “Hey, hey, dummy. Untie me now!” Wait…they’re singing about the sailor’s doom with song parodies, I believe. This is excellent. “Uh, captain. I took my wax out. This is definitely a song for girls.’ If they are singing real songs, this definitely won’t be on Hulu. This is a great post.
-Tigerboy’s Description: Like normal, Odysseus is seduced by the sirens. The twist? They sing songs for teenage girls.
Booker T. Washington High: Yay! THis sketch is always funny. Eww..dirty joke. Funny joke about literacy and the Halloween sign. Is it just me, or does the librarian sound like Tina Fey? Bad joke about the KKK. Hey, the name Mr. Burns.. I know someone who has that name. Ha….the baboon was a student in a costume. This is funny. “There is no Halloween character by the name of Crackula.” Ah, drug use. Making light of bad things. Eww…Dirty joke. H0oray, Kenan Thompson! Eww…dirty joke. Eww…dirty joke about a Mufasa costume. Why is it making me laugh?? THE HORROR! “The thing you saw on the dance floor was two students getting it on, it was not a lion having a seizure.” B-
-Tigerboy’s Description: The principal at Booker T. Washington High is having his usual problems. This time, it’s at a Halloween party.
Musical Performance No. 2: Good job, so far. I like the flashing lights. The drums are excellent. Wait, the person singing is male??? He sounds like a girl! I haven’t been paying attention to the people. Must..not..laugh…..Okay, they are playing “Carried Away.” and the lyrics are appropiate. Hooray for Google! I like the playing. The keyboardist is doing a good job. A
Dance Studio: I’m confused. The person playing the teacher reminds me of Kristen Wiig. Did she say something dirty? I don’t really like this sketch. I’m reminded too much of the old “Liza MInneli Tries To Turn On A Lamp” sketch with Kristen Wiig last season, when Jonah Hill hosted. Ewww….dirty joke. I really don’t like this sketch. The record is funny. Kenan Thompson is funny. Okay…now they understand. Huh?? F-
-Tigerboy’s Description: A dance teacher has trouble giving instructions.
Goodnights: Did she say “Pat Suzanne” or “Pakistan?” Oh, wait, PASSION PIT. Okay. I understand. Okay. Wikipedia was right. Ussain Bolt made a cameo. She seems really happy.
Best Sketch: Everything, except for the “Gillipete’s Razors” commercial and the “Dance Studio” sketch.
Worst Sketch: Tie between “Gillipete’s Razors” and “Dance Studio.”
Closing Comments: No Stefon. No Anchorman references. No Will Ferrell. Oh, well, Still good. Closer to my goal of seeing the best Saturday Night Live episode, in which I like everything. For this, I was only off by two. Next time. Have a great night/day, everyone!