Zarion: No time for witty banter!
Tigerb0y: We didn’t prewrite this intro! Four minutes to go! I give basic descriptions, and Zarion rates and judges them on their appropriateness!
Host: Anne Hathaway
Why She’s Hosting: The Dark Knight Rises/Les Miserables
Musical Guest: RIhanna
Why She’s Playing: A new album called Unapolegetic
Cold Opening- “Mitt Romney’s House”: This looks good so far. Kate McKinnon is funny as Ann Romney. What’s he doing? Oh, drinking milk straight from the carton. “I love you America, but you’ve hurt me very, very much.” Taram Killam is funny. “I’d like to punch America in the face!” Why doesn’t Mitt Romney know how maissonaise is made? Ha! Mitt Romney can’t tell his sons apart. Insult to his performance in Wisconsin! “Have you been drinking? You smell like a dairy!” Carl Rove still thinks he can win Ohio….Funny. What just happened to Carl? Is that Tom Robinson? Weird joke about Donald Trump. Willard Mitt? Aww..a cartoon heat. It’s over? THat was good, but it could have been better. (Deja vu. Have I said that before?) B+
-Tigerboy’s Description: Mitt Romney is drinking away his sorrows….with milk.
Monologue: Wow, the third time. Yes, a Les Miserables reference. Jason Seidekis is funny. Why is he singing? Oh, they can relax on Sunday. Taran KIllam is funny. ‘I’ll sleep until noon and eat chili.” I want to see Wreck-It-Ralph. Why do they keep mentioning chili? HAHAHA! “If they let me play Stefon!” I would like to see Anne Hathaway play Stefon. Kenan Thompson is a good singer. He didn’t vote????? Hey, Aidy Bryant! Now all of them are singing in a Les Miserables parody. Wait……NOT all of them. Come on, Seth! We need you to appear in a sketch! SOmeone tell me if he’s here, I can’t find him. Good monologue. B+
-Tigerboy’s Description: On Sunday, they can relax.
Girlfriends Talk Show: Yeah! A return to the classic talk show sketches! Yay, Aidy Bryant! I sense a recurring character. “Yeah, how many best friends do you have, Keira?” Hey! I don’t like sports! Aidy Bryant is really funny. “Yeah, looks like clothes DEAD WOMEN are found in.” Aidy Bryant plays Morgan, Anne plays Keira…Okay, I don;t know their names. “You have a basement?” Aidy is hilarious. Poor Morgan. “But, I could tell by the way that he put his hand on my face, and pushed me back, that he still has a thing for me.” Aww..it’s over. A
-Tigerboy’s Description: Poor Morgan. She keeps getting excluded from the talk show.
The Legend of Mokiki And The Sloppy Swish: Kenan Thompson is funny. Who are they searching for? That person in the weird clothing is funny! Is that Tim Robinson? People are hiding from him…”He does not respect personal space.” “He;s most likely carrying diseases.” THis is really funny. Wait, that might be Taran Killam. Is it just me, or does he look like a Merryville Brother?” HAHHHA! He spit acid! WOw, he’s contagious! ‘It’s a really stupid dance invented by a crazy person.” A
-Tigerboy’s Description: Don’t go near Mokiki. He will infect you.
Kari Interrogates?: He has a good surfer voice. He sounds like Andy Samberg’s impression of Nicholas Cage. Sexist joke. Bad. The supposedly crazy person looks like Kristen Wiig. She’s funny. “David, no no! David, no no! David, no no! David, no no!” ‘David, she’s only let me down every time I’ve trusted her.” Dana’s voice sounds like the Californians. Aww..they’re a family. I do not understand what’s happening right now. “Her eyes seem to be looking in five minutes at once.” Ewwww….dirty joke. Ewwww…..I’m confused. C
-Tigerboy’s Description: Can Kari interrogate the suspect?
McDonald’s Meeting: I like McDonald’s parodies. Yay, Seinfeld reference! Bobby Moynihan and Anne Hathaway are funny. Swear word. Bad. “Punch that fool Brian until he dies.” Funny. Ewww…dirty joke, I think. “Andrew, I’m pretty sure you’re a serial killer.” Swear word. If they’re weren’t going to be fired before, they’re going to be fired now. She likes a married person? Huh? Swear word. Yeah, I was thinking that his name sounded like Seth Rogen. Wow…..that is really mean. Combining the McDonald’s jingle with telling someone to kill theirself…..I am extremely conflicted. Stop swearing! I am conflicted on what to grade this. THey’re not getting fired? Okay….now Carl is getting fired. Poor Carl. WOw, the two workers are HUGE hypocrites. ….What do grade this?? I like McDonald’s parodies…..BUt there was the ‘b word.’ C-
Musical Performance #1: Okay, I like the green screen and lighting. Okay, the beat is good. The music is good, the piano, especially. I’m beginning to think that the title is “Diamonds in the Sky.” Sort of like “Diamonds in The Sky With Lucy”, the song that was playing when archeologists discovered a missing link. Okay, the song is called “Diamonds.” The lyrics are pretty clean. As far as I know, Rihanna is a good singer. B+
Weekend Update: “Four more years…of gridlock.” This is funny. Hahha…..Ewww..weird biography jokes. I suspect they are dirty. Funny video game joke about the death of Osama Bin Laden. YAY! Jay Pharoah, as Barack Obama. I wished it was the real person. Oh, well. “I even gave you a one debate head start.” Racist joke. Bad. Please let the real Barack Obama appear…We need a good cameo. No offense, Chris Parnell. “The military, GONE!” He wants to thank Mitt Romney….HAHAHHAHAHHAH! “Watching you run for president was like watching someone on roller-skates try to climb stairs.” “Mainly, that this is a terrible job and I hate it.” Hooray for Jay Pharoah! HAHAHHA! Cool! Baby clothes with mops on the legs! Okay, a gay c0uple from Maine. Seeing that this is SNL, I assume jokes that are rude. Are they imitating Maine accents? I have never heard Maine accents, so this is interesting. I’m begnning to think that this is just dirty jokes and people weirdly imitating Maine accents. HAHAHHA! Jokes about Iceland! That was a good one. A joke about O.J. Simpson! Hooray! AHHAHAH! Great….Drunk Uncle. Yeah, a racist joke. That’s the first thing that comes out of his mouth. I’m sorry, Bobby Moynihan, but I don’t really like this recurring character. “There was no Senate….” “If you wanted a House of Representatives, you build it yourself.” Funny. “Spotify me!” Funny. Actually, I don;t know what that is. Racist jokes. Bad. “Drunk UNcle pees on one pay phone, gets arrested immediately.” Funny. “You know what state I’m in? Denial.” Ewwww….EWWWWWW…..A disgusting Angry Birds joke and a dirty joke. Offensive joke. BAD. Weird Nationwide joke. His “So I’m not” jokes remind me of one of Chris Farley’s old characters.” Seth, you always say that Drunk Uncle is too drunk! Racist joke. Bad. C+
-Tigerboy’s Description: Seth Meyers lampoons the news, talks with Barack Obama, a gay couple from Maine, and Drunk Uncle.
The Ellen Degeneres Show: “Well, it’s been a big week for politics, so I’m going to talk about popcorn I ate last week.” “It’s a talk show, so let’s dance.” The actor playing her is funny. Let’s see, it’s Kate McKinnon! Hey, she referenced Sofia Vergara! Kate’s first appearance was on the episode hosted by Sofia Vergara. Was that intentional? That was a funny prank. Aidy Bryant was funny. “But on the other hand, if they come near my daughter, I will cut them.” B-
-Tigerboy’s Description: Ellen Degeneres is really random.
How The American Gothic Was Made: Racist joke. Bad. Okay, the story of American Gothic. This should be good. Jason Sudeikis and Anne Hathaway are funny, when they’re in a scene together. Ahhh, anonchronisms. This is really funny. A tennis racket?? That’s funny. A corn cob puppet??? Funnier! HAHHAHA! He’s pretending to attack her! She can cross her eyes?? COOL!!!!!! “Aw, come on, Grant!” “Oh, not long, nine to ten hours.” HAHHAHA! The paints can talk! You know, Anne Hathaway’s little moaning noise ( I believe it was meant to scare the person) sounded like Julia Sweeney’s old character, Pat.
-Tigerboy’s Description: A lot of interesting things happened behind the scenes in the creation of this famous painting.
Musical Performance #2: Once again, I like the beat. Okay, let’s check the song. Okay, the lyrics are clean. Once again, I’m not a very good judge of singing, but I think that Rihanna is doing a good job. I wonder what her last name is…Okay, she doesn’t have one. B+
Flaritin: Okay, situations with allergies. Made up allergies? Thi s is funny. Los Angeles? Racist joke. Bad. Swear word. Bad. HAHAHHAHA! That was a disturbing amount of mucus. B
-Tigerboy’s Description: Want to fake an allergy to squirrel dandruff? Try Flaratin!
Goodnights: As I expected, no one cameod. Oh, well.
Closing Comments: I was expecting this to be better. SOme sketches were good, but nothing really popped out, like the parody of the second debate. I did expect the cold opening to be better, though. Oh, well. As I said before, no one cameod, but Anne Hathaway did reprise her role of Katie Holmes from the last time she hosted. Thank you, Wikipedia!
Best Sketch: “Monologue”, “Girlfriends Talk Show”, or “Origin of the American Gothic.”
Worst Sketch: “Katie Interrogates” and “Weekend Update.” (Sorry, but the Drunk Uncle appeared, and I didn’t understand most of the jokes in either of the sketches.) Wait! “McDonald’s Meeting” could have been better, as well. I had predicted insults on the food and cooking.
Best/Worst Commercial Parody(there was only one): “Flaratin”. It could have been better.
Overall Rating: B