Saturday Night Live’s Thanksgiving Special(Hopefully):Host: Jeremy Renner Musical Guest: Maroon 5 (NOTE: I HAD TO REWRITE THIS, SO IT WILL BE EXTREMELY DIFFERENT))


Zarion: Avengers Assemble!

Tigerboy: Welcome to another Saturday Night Live review!

Zarion: Now, Tigerboy, you’re a superhero, correct?

TIgerboy: Yes. I come from a parallel earth.

Zarion: Jeremy Renner recently played Hawkeye in Marvel’s The Avengers. What do you think about that fact that he’s hosting Saturday Night Live?

Tigerboy: Well, I think that I should be the one hosting. It’s time for a Miscellaneous Soup round-up! The things we do until Saturday Night Live starts,,,

Miscellaneous Soup Round-Up:

Hawkeye:

-Abilites: Shooting arrows

-Powers: ….None.

-More: ‘peak of human conditioning’ (Thanks, Wikipedia!), trained by Captain America, drives a ‘Sky Cycle.’ (Gag me!), trick arrows

Comments: Tigerboy: Oh, please! He’s Green Arrow, from DC Comics! Batman with less coolness! Face it, you got into the Justice League with a major amount of pity votes.

Zarion: Is that all?

Tigerboy: (thinks) No. You were a villain, and then a hero. You faced Iron Man? Really? Repulsor rays versus a bow and arrow. BZZZTTT! (mimes getting zapped) Oops, you’re dead. Also, you died a couple of times. Of course, so did Spider-Man. And Captain America. And Bucky. And Wolverine. And Deadpool. And me. Only alternate reality because of the Scarlet Witch saved you from a permanent death. You are pathetic.

Zarion: Guess what?

Tigerboy: What?

Zarion: We have Hawkeye here to roast you.

Tigerboy: Wait, this was a roast? NOOOOO! I had so much material!

Tigerboy:

-Powers: Healing factor, pulls things out of midair, extreme sense of humor.

-Abilities: Good at writing jokes  (But does Zarion let him write posts? NOOO.),

Hawkeye: Yeah, you’re a Deadpool rip-off. Healing factor? Check. Sense of humor? Check. Constantly talks? Check. Obscure pop culture references? Check.

Tigerboy: As soon as I finish watching Scrubs, I’ll respond to that.

Hawkeye: Also, you’re a humanoid tiger and you’re what? Six inches tall? How did that happen to you?

Tigerboy: (stares into distance)

Hawkeye: We can’t see your flashbacks.

Tigerboy: I know. I was thinking of a way to say it without traumatizing anyone. It’s dark and disturbing/

Hawkeye: (looks guilty) I’m sorry…..(runs away)

(Car door slams, drives off.)

Tigerboy: As always, this was staged. We have a great show tonight! See you later! It’s reviewing time!

The Thing: You stealing my catchphrase, you Yancy Street punk?

Host: Jeremy Renner

Why He’s Hosting: ‘Anyone Can Host’ contest, Les Miserables, Marvel’s The Avengers

Musical Guest: Maroon Five (5)

Why They’re Playing: A new album.

Cold Opening- “Booknotes Presents Paula Broadwell”- Okay, I like C-Span this looks good. The Petreaus case. I saw that coming. Okay, this is dirty. I don;t like it. Ewww….Ewwww…EWWWWWW…..Everyone is leaving….Eww….One person is staying….Okay, one person is staying,….Ewwww….Please kill me…..Hmmm.The narrator said “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night.” F

Monologue: B-

Tigerboy’s Description: Jeremy sings cut songs from his movies.

Staycation: B-

Tigerboy’s Description: Have a vacation at your house. It could be worse.

The Californians: B-

Tigerboy;s Description: A new member is coming to the Californians!

The Situation Room With Wolf Blitzer:  B-

Tigerboy’s Description: The CIA director’s affair is parodied.

The Stand-Off: B+

Tigerboy’s Description: They are really desperate to win.

Musical Performance 1: “One More Time” is sung. B-

Weekend Update: B+

TIgerboy;s Description: Seth Meyers makes jokes, shows the winners and losers of the Petreaus affair, talks with Katt Williams, and the real Governor Chris Christie.

Marvel’s The Avengers: A

Tigerboy’s Description: In the midst of an alien battle, Hawkeye forgets his arrows.

Studio 8: B-

Tigerboy’s Description: An actor is annoying.

Musical Performance: ‘Daylight’ is performed. B-

MIdnight Snack: B-

Tigerboy’s Description: A weird, but slightly amusing, cartoon.

Coroner’s Report: A

Tigerboy’s Description: This guy is REALLY bad at identifying dead bodies.

Goodnights: JUst as I said. The real Chris Christie cameod. Adam Levine appeared in the pre-recorded “Stand-Off” sketch. Yup. Lorne MIchael’s birthday was mentioned.

Closing COmments: Sorry for this review. I deleted my notes. Maybe, next time, this will be better.

Best Sketch: Marvel’s The Avengers

Worst Sketch: Cold Opening

Overall Rating: B

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One thought on “Saturday Night Live’s Thanksgiving Special(Hopefully):Host: Jeremy Renner Musical Guest: Maroon 5 (NOTE: I HAD TO REWRITE THIS, SO IT WILL BE EXTREMELY DIFFERENT))

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