Zarion: Here it is, the complete review. And, yes, I did copy and paste my review of the opening from my last SNL review post. Tigerboy will still give the descriptions.
Cold Opening-”Santa’s My Boyfriend” This is a hilarious sketch. I don’t care about the dirty jokes, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, and Kristen Wiig are hilarious. Swear word. Bad. Still funny, because they’re referring to Mrs. Clause. “Oh live, oh live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night.” B+
Tigerboy’s Description: These women all date Santa..and they’re singing. Also, I think they want to kill Mrs. Claus.
Opening: It’s short this time, and Christmas themed. “Saturday Night Live Presents: An SNL Christmas!” N/A For Rating
N/A For A Description
Monologue: I was right! Jimmy Fallon’s monologue is here! I wonder if the goodnights from his episode will also be here…Guitar….He’s a good guitar player. Walking around the studio. “Wow, so many memories…Barry Gibb Talk Show..Debbie Downer….Cowbell. I laughed and ruined all those sketches.” HAHAHHA! “Buble’s doing cocaine..” “What about a verse for the Jews?” “Chanukah, eight days of presents! Chanukah, that’s all that I know!” Lorne Michaels! Yay! Other cast members are dancing by him…Wow, I miss Kristen Wiig and Andy Samberg. Let’s hope they host, soon. A
Tigerboy’s Description: Jimmy Fallon sings about his past experiences on the show.
TCM: Turner Classic Movies- “This, You Call A Wonderful Life?”- Great…just what I’ve feared. I’ve never understood this sketch. Bill Hader is funny. Oh…a Chanukah version? Never mind. Different sketch. “This, You Call A Wonderful Live?” Jason Sudeikis. This is slightly offensive, but I’m laughing, slightly. Arguing about pickles…Bobby Moynihan! THe meaning of Chanukah…Okay. That sounds accurate. EWWWW….Prostrate jokes….B-
Tigerboy’s Description: An alternative take on “It’s A Wonderful Life” is shown.
The Mark Jensen Family Christmas: “Baby says I gots to have my Dillmans!” Hooray for Will Ferrell! He’s singing…still singing…Spinning around on something…”It’s going to fast…” “I’m going to barf.” He throws up. This is hilarious. Still vomiting. A
Tigerboy’s Description: Things move a little too quickly at Mark Jensen’s Christmas.
Winter Wonderland: Okay, a sketch from the early days. THanks, Google! Garrett Morris is singing the lead. He’s a good singer. More singing…Gilda Radner, Laraine Newman, Candice Bergen, and Jane Curtin are also singing…Speaking of which, I am against changing the name of Gilda’s Club. Now Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, and John Belushi are singing. A
Tigerboy’s Description: The original cast sings about winter and Christmas.
Glengarry Glen-Christman: I like this sketch, even with the swearing. It’s humorous. Santa’s Workshop…The elf voices are funny. Alec Baldwin is hilarious. “Put that cocoa down.” HAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, I’m ashamed to admit it, but the swearing is mildly funny. Hooray for Amy Poehler! “Third prize is you’re fired.” Rachel Dratch is funny. “Always Be Cobbling.” Seth Meyers is also funny. HAHAHHA. Alec Baldwin’s “You see this gumdrop???” Ewwww….brass balls. B
Tigerboy’s Description: There’s a new elf in town, and he’s not here to complain.
Steve Martin’s Holiday Wishes: Yeah! I was right! This is funny. “30 million dollars a month, to be given…to me.” Yeah, this part will be mostly quotes. “And the third would be all-emcompassing power over every living being in the entire universe.” “First would be the crap about the kids.” Ewwwwww…dirty jokes. HAHAHA! Now, he doesn’t care about the kids. “Oh, jeez, I forgot about revenge on all my enemies!” “…they should die like pigs in ‘Heck.” I find it amusing how quickly his wishes turn from generous to selfish. B+
Tigerboy’s Description: Steve Martin describes his Christmas wishes.
Adam Sandler’s Chanukah Song: YES!!!!!!! I knew this would be here. Now, will this be version 1, 2, or 3? Well, the third version was a cold opening and this is Weekend Update, so this must be the first edition or the second edition. “So much fun-ake!” “….eight crazy nights.” His voice is progessively getting higher. “You don’t need Deck the Halls or a Christmas sock, because you can spin the dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock!” “O.J. Simpson…NOT A JEW!!!” “Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is. Well, he’s not, but can you guess who is? ALL THREE STOOGES!” Adam Sandler is a good guitar player. “Don’t smoke marijuana-kah!” Now his voice is getting absurdly deep. A
Tigerboy’s Description: Adam Sandler sings a song about Chanukah, to make up for the lack of any other Chanukah songs.
Give It All Up For Homelessville: Great….I hope this sketch will be better now, then when I saw it last. Justin Timberlake plays an obnoxious sidewalk vendor, or whatever the term is. Person in a santa suit….Sounds like Adam Sandler when he’s singing…Wait, no. I recognize his voice, he’s Will Forte. “What’s up, bucket man?” Not that funny. Minor character breakage. “Okay, I seriously doubt there’s a legimate charity called Homelessville!” Now they’re fighting. Tsk, tsk. Dirty joke. Will Forte is stealing the show, and I like the percussion. C+
Tigerboy’s Description: Two street vendors/advertisers bond…sort of.
Monologue- “Robert De Niro And Kermit Sing”: Another Justin Timberlake/Will Forte sketch. Forte plays a puppeteer who Timberlake accidentally steps on while singing with Kermit the Frog. FOrte would later reprise his role of Kermit the Frog in a hilarious sketch called Muppet Bus. Wait,wait,WAIT! No! I was wrong. It’s actually Robert De Niro and Kermit the Frog, singing a Christmas song. Just let me change the title…DONE! There’s not much to say for this, so I can sit back and relax. Yeah, this is technically another monologue. It’s funny to see a scary person like Robert DeNiro (Yes, he scares me. So?) singing with a puppet. Excuse me, Muppet.
Tigerboy’s Description: Kermit the Frog guilts Robert DeNiro into singing “Have Yourself A Very Merry Christmas” with him.
Saturday TV Funhouse- “Christmas For The Jews”: BOOOO!!! Great..this doesn’t make me laugh. It seems racist, especially because I’m Jewish. F
Tigerboy’s Description: Supposedly what people of the Jewish faith do on Christmas.
Weekend Update- “Stefon”: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! HOORAY!!!!!!!!!! Stefon better appear on one or both of the new episodes. I’m going to put portions of what he says, hence the elipses. (Elipsi?) “Built from the bucket list of a dying pervert….Fat Sajak…..A child….Russian guy who runs on a treadmill in a Cosby sweater…The passoword is dia-betes.” Dia-betes is said in a Southern accent. “If you’re ordinary, or love salt…..openly condemned in 1904, this season (unintelligible) is the creation of Chanukah cartoon character, Menorah the Explorer. Pee-Wees..Spud webs…Some guy’s mom….A Fish Called Kwanzaa…Look who just came in. It is a lady who works at CBS and don’t bother her, because she is (deep voice) on break….” Eww, dirty joke. “Sorry, I never knew you had a family.” “Human boombox.” B+
Tigerboy’s Description: Seth Meyers interviews Stefon on clubs to go to for the holidays.
Monologue- “John Malkovitch Reads ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas”: “Itchy, itchy.” (He takes his hat off and scratches his head,) “Well, you know what they say about hopes. They’re what we cling to when reality has left us nothing else.” “Now, kids, here’s a question: True or false, during the holiday season, the suicide rate increases significantly.” “You know that the state of California has a home invasion law, where it’s actually legal to shoot someone just for entering your residence?” “Now, did you know that it is estimated that Santa’s sleigh weighs around 53,000 tons, so traveling at 650 miles per second, would create such an enormous friction, that Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame?” “….like a metor entering the atmosphere. THis is a scientific fact.” “And unless children leave him a stick of butter, he steals their toes.” “When I was a child, we used to suck on pennies.” “(unintelligible) is coming and he is going to feast on all of your toes.”
Tigerboy’s Description: Oh, those poor, traumatized kids.
SNL Digital Short- “D*ck In The Box”: I’m not even going to give this the dignity of a review. F——————–
Tigerboy’s Description: I’m not describing this. Don’t watch it.
Consumer Probe: Not really much to say about this. Guy is interviewed on dangerous toys that he makes, and he hurts himself on ‘harmless’ toys. Hooray for Jane Curtin! “General Tron’s Secret Police Confession Kit…Skin-Grafters….” “Johnny-Switch Blade.” HAHAHA! I can imagine Barbie and Ken dying. “Bag of Glass.” “Kid, be careful! Broken glass!” “Bag of sulfuric acid!” A
Tigerboy’s Description: Dangerous…or not?
Michael Buble’s Christmas Duets: Okay, this looks like a commercial parody. YES!!!!!!!!!!! I was right!!!!!!!!! The celebrity impressions are hilarious! Lady Gaga as a Christmas tree!!! I can’t type fast enough, so let this emoticon show my feelings. :)2 (Happy face squared) MIA SHOOTING A GUN!!!!!!!!!! RUSSELL BRAND!!!!!!!!!!!! TAYLOR SWIFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “Hello, I’m angel. Do you have any drugs?” KEISHA!!!! (We miss you, Abby Elliot!) Scotty Mcreery! His absurdly deep voice is hilarious! Hooray for Taram Killam! TOm York! Kanye West! A
Tigerboy’s Description: In this hilarious commerical parody, Michael Buble sings with famous celebrities…..gun-toting, hand-waving, creepily-smiling celebrities.
Vogelchecks Family Christmas: Yeah, I accidentally moved ahead on the DVR, and I thought this was the Vogelchecks. I looked it up, and it is. Automatic A. This is too funny to waste time reviewing, if the Thanksgiving one is anyindication.
Tigerboy’s Description: WAY TOO affectionate family members celebrate Christmas. Zarion, that did not deserve an A. Were you watching it, or just listening to it????
Martha Stewart’s Topless Christmas Special: F
-Tigerboy’s Description: Martha Stewart is disgusting.
Robert Goulet All-Holiday Special: Hooray for Will Ferrell! Yes, he’s playing Robert Goulet! His singing is hilarious! He sounds like a drunken monkey! “Da..doo……dreidel…..The dreidel song, by Jerry Lewis!” Reference to Monica Lewinsky. Chris Kattan is funny. Robert falls off the roof!!!!!! “Nope, I see the bone.” “Do you guys smell smoke?” “Good god, that’s a lot of smoke!” “Oh boy, this special is doomed.” A
TIgerboy’s Description: Robert Goulet hosts a very disasterous special. And, no, he does not speak Spanish.
Weekend Update- Drunk Uncle: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! I refuse to watch OR review this clip. NEXT!
Tigerboy’s Description: Don’t watch this.
What Up With That- Christmas Edition!: I like this sketch. Kenan Thompson is hilarious. Hooray for Jack McBrayer! THis is definitely going to be stuck in my head. “Existential angst….other people…tragedy, baby, and I GOTS TO SAY WHAT UP WITH THAT!!!!!!!!” “I went to a Chanukah party, and I tried an onion bagel!” B+
TIgerboy’s Description: “Ooh, yeah! What up with that? What up with that?” Huh, oh. Watch.
Delicious Dish- “Schweddy Balls With Pete Schweddy”: Not watching this. Not reviewing this. F
Tigerboy’s Description: Ughhhhhh…I’m not reviewing this.
Mary Katherine Gallagher- Okay, this is just a clip. Molly Shannon is a good actor. She’s also a good singer. Now, Whitney Houston is singing, R.I.P., Whitney Houston. Breaking of scenery. B
Tigerboy’s Description: Mary and Whitney have a singing contest.
Christmas Is Number One aka Season’s Greetings From Saturday Night Live!: Automatic A!
Tigerboy’s Description: From Jimmy Fallon’s epic hosting gig, he, Tracy Morgan, Horatio Sanz, and Chris Kattan sing. Okay, not from that one. Still, it’s good.
Goodnights: I was right. Part of the goodnights from the “Jimmy Fallon/Michael Buble” is shown.
Overall Rating: A-