Announcer: News Update With Zarion Kreena and Tigerboy!
Tigerboy: Hello, I’m Tigerboy.
Zarion: And I’m Zarion Kreena. Here’s tonight’s top stories.
Tigerboy: Al Roker revealed on the Today show that he pooped his pants while visiting the White House when George W. Bush was the President. He later did it again, when he saw Bush’s foreign policy plan.
Zarion Kreena: Justin Bieber has given the Saturday Night Live writers free reign to make jokes about his drug affair. While they’re doing that, he’s going to smoke some weed.,
Tigerboy: Barack Obama is going to give his State of the Union speech on February 12th. Sources say that the topic will be do’s and don’ts for Valentine’s Day.
Zarion Kreena: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler will host the Golden Globes tomorrow. To compete, Zarion and I will host the Soupy Awards. Please RSVP.
Tigerboy: That’s not a joke. In entertainment news, 3o Rock will end its run on January 31st, while The Office will end in May. This news has caused the last two fans of NBC comedy to quit. That’s right. Parks and Recreation, you’re our only hope.
Zarion Kreena: PLEASE! In other news, the owner of “Pizza Goat” has been accused of sexual harassment. Still, we know the truth. He didn’t do anything. The goat just wanted him out of the way!
Tigerboy: Videos on cheating on jigsaw puzzles can be found in the Internet. What else is new?
Zarion Kreena: From News Update, I’m Zarion Kreena.
Tigerboy: And I’m Tigerboy. Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.