Zarion: Welcome back to my show, Cleverbot. Now, let’s talk politics.
Cleverbot: Are you a computer? I thought I was talking to a real person?
Zarion: What are your feelings on abortion?
Cleverbot: I don’t think it can work without someone’s feelings getting hurt.
Zarion: Interesting. Can you elaborate?
Cleverbot: Life has meaning and it always will.
Zarion: Thank you. Now, you can choose the topic. What are we going to talk about?
Cleverbot: I don’t know, what do you want to talk about?
Zarion: More politics. Do you agree?
Cleverbot: Tell me all that you know about me.
Zarion: What are your feelings on gay rights?
Cleverbot: They are filled with knowledge, but they won’t understand moral until they become fully aware.
Zarion: I can’t decide if that was about artificial intelligence in technology, or a slur. Either way, Miscellaneous Soup apologizes.
Cleverbot: Only Artificial Intelligences don’t know whether or not they are an Artificial Intelligence.
Zarion: Next topic. Did you watch President Barack Obama’s inauguration?
Cleverbot: I did not learn latin.
Zarion: What do you think will happen over the next four years, in terms of laws, bills, and America’s ever-growing debt?
Cleverbot: If you’re talking about the after life…I think it will be a vast void.
Zarion: Are you deliberately misinterpreting my questions?
Cleverbot: No. I am angry because things are not going the way that I want in my life.
Zarion: I’m sorry. What’s wrong?
Zarion: Let’s break it down. How’s school?
Zarion: How’s home?
Cleverbot: Life is good.
Zarion: Good. Now, another question regarding foreign policy. If you could do anything right now, what would you do? I realize that doesn’t relate, but I’m bored.
Zarion: Elaborate, please.
Zarion: Let’s move on. 30 Rock only has two more episodes. What do you think is going to happen?
Cleverbot: A robot.
Zarion: I believe you said that last time. Fact-checkers? Oh, you didn’t say that previously. Are you referring to the “Bear and Robot Talk Show” on the show-within-a-show, TGS With Tracy Jordan?
Cleverbot: No..I’m not. Are you?
Zarion: Never mind. Have you heard of The Office?
Cleverbot: What office.
Zarion: The Office. A show on NBC.
Cleverbot: What is the show about?
Zarion: It’s a mockumentary revolving around the lives of a paper company in Scranton, Pennsylvania.
Cleverbot: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Zarion: The next episode is supposed to break down the mystery of who’s doing the documentary. Who do you think it is? Just name a person.
Cleverbot: I don’t have any other conversations going on right now. I’ve been addicted to this thing for the past 3 hours.
Zarion: Just name a person.
Cleverbot: Which person?
Zarion: A character from The Office.
Cleverbot: I don’t think I’ve seen that episode.
Zarion: Back to politics. Are you a Democrat or a Republican?
Zarion: Who did you vote for in the election?
Cleverbot: I’m not old enough to vote. Are you?
Zarion: I’m asking the questions, here.
Cleverbot: Can you put that in the form of a question?
Zarion: Okay, that’s our show. I tried to discuss politics and/or the endings to popular shows, but you have failed me. Any last words? And don’t say, “I have but one life to give for my country.” That was a myth anyway. Hey, Tigerboy, ask the writers if they’re done with the next News Update sketch. While you’re on that, see about the other sketches. We need another Aquaman or Dr. Soup Van Hoffer. Why are you looking at me like that, Cleverbot? NO! How dare you? I am not filibustering. Go ahead, say something. Shoot. Speak your mind. Hey, is that a taser? That hurt-Bllllgghhh…
Cleverbot: You’re right about none of my statements ending I question marks, however all of my questions do.
Zarion Kreena: Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.