Zarion Kreena: I write “Rambling Guy” and “Regular Reviews.
Tigerboy: I give descriptions.
Zarion Kreena: Welcome to another Saturday Night Live review.
Host: Kevin Hart
Why He’s Hosting: “Laugh At My Pain”, a new special. Or, his stand-up comedy. Or, “Let Me Explain.” Or, Real Husbands of Hollywood.
Musical Guest: Macklemore and Ryan Lewis
–Why Macklemore is Playing: Primed, The Heist
-Why Ryan Lewis is Playing: The Vs. The Vs. (Redux), The Heist, Can’t Hold Us, his tour
Cold Opening-“Barack Obama’s Sequester Speech”
-“Rambling Guy”: State of the Union? FINALLY! At the very least, it’s Barack Obama! Ohhhh, the sequester. Michelle Obama will only do four television appearances a week. This is amusing. Ewww….So many ridiculous things! “Our space helmets will no longer have glass!” The zoo? Poor fired monkeys….”Ripping off faces..” Horse meat joke. Bobby Moynihan‘s costume….wow….”It’s the greatest day of my entire life!” Racist costume. I’m confused. What are they doing? “They’ll be another, way-worse financial crisis to deal with.” B+
-Regular Review: I love Jay Pharoah‘s Barack Obama impression. This sketch was pretty well-constructed.
-Tigerboy’s Description: Barack Obama talks about his sequester deal, and the various budget cuts to follow.
**NOTE: I DON’T THINK THAT IS DON PARDO. IT SOUNDS MORE LIKE SOMEONE DOING AN IMPRESSION OF HIM.
-“Rambling Guy”: I hope that if he does stand-up, it’s appropriate. I’m confused. Break character? “What about NOW?” HAHAAHAHA! “I put them both in my mouth!” This is hilarious! Outbreak monkeys??? He auditioned? Cool! “Six or seven months ago, twenty-two days..two hours…” “I’m so talented, I can develop them right now.” “I’m only going to do impressions.” HAHAHAHAHHAHHA! Wonderful De Niro..WHoever he is. Swear word. Bad. “That wasn’t even a line in the movie.” “Do you do any impressions?” B-
-Regular Review: There were some enjoyable moments, including Hart’s De Niro impression. I was confused by the homeless man story at first, but it was hilarious at the end.
-Tigerboy’s Description: Kevin Hart talks about someone getting mugged over a sandwich, and auditioning for Saturday Night Live.
-“Rambling Guy”: It’s this sketch again. Let’s hope that it’s good. “Dogs who look like people.” The pictures are amusing. He’s not pronouncing “phobia” the right way. “My mustache gonna slide down my throat and kill me.” “Equilibrium” Eww…Horses are scary. This is creepy, but amusing. I hope I don’t have nightmares about horses with fingers. Stuffed horses! Yay, Nasim Pedrad! It’s moving…And, it neighs. HAAHAHAHA! THey’re hiding behind a couch. B+
-Regular Review: BETTER than the Seth McFarlane one.
-Tigerboy’s Description: Steve Harvey tries to help his guest rid his fear of horses.
The Situation With Wolf Blitzer:
-“Rambling Guy”: Cool! The new Pope! Who’s the Pope??? HAHAHAHHAHA! The new Pope is the nine year old who was nominated for an Oscar! I’m sorry, I do not know how to spell her name. What’s the Duggie? This is an excellent idea for a sketch. “Which means, “I’m da man!'” Fred Armisen is hilarious! “The new Pope is riding a cardinal like a horsie!” I predict that this sketch will offend people as much as the commerical parody from the previous episode. A
-Regular Review: This sketch, like the previous Situation Room sketch, seemed too short. However, it was amusing.
-Tigerboy’s Description: “The Situation Room” airs live coverage of the new pope.
Verismo Coffee by Starbucks:
“Rambling Guy”: Okay, a commercial parody. Starbucks? Wait…RERUN! BOO! Okay. N/A for grading.
-Regular Review: See above.
-Tigerboy’s Description: Starbucks introduces a new voice feature coffee pot for your home.
Barnes & Noble Meeting:
“Rambling Guy”: Yay! Barnes & Noble…Wait. It’s another version of the McDonald’s sketch from the Anne Hathaway episode. “Do you hatch out of an egg every day?” Kid;s Choice Awards reference…? “Rudy’s stupid ponytail.” This sketch has foul language. “I would be. It’s my last name.” Why did they mention January? Taran Killam‘s face is funny. Poor Carl…Poor everyone. “Well, he makes a valid point.” I see Kevin breaking character. D
Musical Performance #1:
-“Rambling Guy“: COol! They mentioned SNL! I like this! Excuse me. I need to dance. Music, good. Singing, pretty good. Lyrics, HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE. Oh, and they sang “Thrift Shop.” C-
-Regular Review: See above.
-Tigerboy’s Description: Macklemore and Ryan Lewis sing “Thrift Shop.”
-“Rambling Guy”: Here’s hoping you save the episode. Let Stefon come…please….”He’s the man for the job if the job is not doing your job.” “revealing an incredible case of hat hair.” “I’m guessing- Trying to kill James Bond?” “Of how they only exist because your iPhone died.” Ewww..Dennis Rodmann and Kim Jong Un. Hooray for Pharoah and Moynihan! Bobby’s impression sounds very racist. Reference to Macklemore. Ewww…. “Tomorrow we start Jedi training.” “Sir, we’ve already brought you eight cheeseburgers.” “For more, check out this month’s issue of Good Enough.” Stupid owner. Ewwww…. Racist joke. YAY! “Really- With Seth and Kevin!” “When you’re a small council of old people in robes who can’t be fired.” “I’m short, but I’m not that short!” “They waited six months after Lincoln-the movie!” A Massachusetts school did that? Not nice. Wow…..Bad name. “To win the game, you just have to defeat all the progress women have ever made.” NOOO! It’s over….B+
-Regular Review: Almost the whole thing was good. The dirty parts were bad.
-Tigerboy’s Description: Seth Meyers makes news jokes, speaks with Dennis Rodman and Kim Jong Un, and says “Really?” to the South.
The Walking Dead:
-“Rambling Guy”: I thought they would parody this eventually. I’ve never seen the show, but this is amusing. A
-Regular Review: Not much to say.
-Tigerboy’s Description: A new person joins the team!
-“Rambling Guy”: “It’s the exact opposite of a vest.” Pretty good. Wait, it’s over. Swear word. Bad. A
-Regular Review: Mostly funny, but I wish more contestants were shown.
-Tigerboy’s Description: A bad idea is judged by billionaires.
-“Rambling Guy”: I’m confused. Never mind. This is hilarious! “Is it a K-shirt?” A
-Regular Review: See above, I’m still laughing.
-Tigerboy’s Description: Is it an A-Shirt? IS IT A B-SHIRT??
Commercial Voice Readings:
“Rambling Guy”: This is amusing. She has a good commercial voice. I’m confused. Is Kevin Hart playing himself? Never mind. There’s some obvious product placement with this. “You can’t bring a bubble bath to a dessert island.” “Good luck with that, stupid.” Swear word. Bad. C-
-Regular Review: Not sure what to say.
-Tigerboy’s Description: A man has to read commercials that are unsuitable.
Musical Performance No. 2
-“Rambling Guy”: GOod music. Sounds like something I’ve heard on the radio. Good singing. The song is “Can’t Hold Us.” Bad lyrics. C-
-Regular Review: See above.
-Tigerboy’s Description: Macklemore and Ryan Lewis sing “Can’t Hold Us.”
-“Rambling Guy”: A funeral….IT’S THE Z-SHIRT GUY AGAIN! A
-Regular Review: See my review for the previous “Z-Shirt” sketch.
-Tigerboy’s Description: IS IT A C-SHIRT?? IS IT A D-SHIRT??
360 Degrees News:
-“Rambling Guy”: This is hilarious. …He has a neck brace…HAHAHAHHA! “Oh, God……It kills me, man!” *insert moans of pain* This is hilarious! DON’T REMOVE THE BRACE!!!!!!!! Swear word. Bad. “This is a very stupid idea for a news show.” “It’s bad.” THE CEILING?? Wow…Kevin Hart is a very good actor. “360 News…will not be right back.” A
-Regular Review: Much like the last one, a very bizarre idea. Fortunately, I love bizarre humor.
-Tigerboy’s Description: DO NOT do a news show from every angle if you have a neck injury.
-“Rambling Guy”: I was right. No one cameod. That was cut off quickly. No credits were shown, I think.
Closing Comments: They could have done more on the horse meat scandal, and showed Stefon. The episode was fairly good, but I didn’t like the constant use of the “B word”. I predict outrage over the Pope sketch.
Best Sketch: “360 News”
Worst Sketch: “Barnes & Noble Meeting”
Best Commercial Parody: “Z-Shirt” and “Z-Shirt 2” tie.
Worst Commercial Parody: “Starbucks Verismo Coffee”, because it was a rerun.
Overall Rating: 88%/B+