Announcer: News Update With Zarion Kreena and Tigerboy!
Zarion: Hello, I’m Zarion Kreena.
Tigerboy: And I’m Tigerboy. Here are the night’s top stories. Last Monday, Fox New’s Detroit channel covered a local car show. When asked what else happened on Monday, they said “Oh, nothing happened! Absolutely nothing else that we would even be remotely interested in.”
Zarion: The bird flu is back, so, please, don’t go around kissing any birds. That means you, Idaho. We’re watching you.
Tigerboy: New promos have been released for a Marvel Comics storyline called “The Age of Ultron”, where an artificial intelligence takes over the world. In other words, I, Robot with superheroes.
Zarion Kreena: Justin Bieber is hosting Saturday Night Live next week, so don’t forget to set your DVRs to record anything else that is on besides that.
Tigerboy: I feel a time warp coming! No, this isn’t a joke!
(The desk travels through time….Vague clips are shown…..)
Nervous Ned: GIANT METEOR! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!
Zarion: Kreena: It’s pi day, so be sure to-
Nervous Ned: SEQUESTER! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!
Tigerboy: North Korea has been making nuclear tests, so we’re all doomed, war is inevitable, blah, blah, blah, EVERYBODY HIDE!
Zarion Kreena: There’s a new viral video going around called the “Harlem Shake.” My only question is, why is part of New York shaking? Earthquake?
Tigerboy: ‘Lil Wayne is currently in the hospital.
Zarion Kreena: School closed because the Fresh Prince theme song was played…..
Tigerboy: No Hulk spinoffs for the Marvel Cinematic Universe….
Zarion Kreena: The Bachelor
Tigerboy: Muppets sequel
Zarion Kreena: Skyfall
Tigerboy: Bill Nye-
(Time warp ends……)
Zarion Kreena: ….What just happened?
Tigerboy: I have no idea. What day is it?
Zarion Kreena: March 19th.
Tigerboy: Wow…It’s been over two months since we started this.
Zarion Kreena: From News Update, I’m Zarion Kreena.
Tigerboy: And I’m Tigerboy. Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.