Improvised Play: Zarion and Syrika in “Elf Cheese, Pie Interlopers! THE MOVIE” (Starring Newt Gingrich)


Zarion: DUCK! THE MONKEY IS EATING MY DROOL!

Syrika: That’s disgusting!!!!!!

Zarion: Kill the interloper! Do you have any gorgonzolas?

Syrika: Nah, they stink. I had a friend who ate gorgonzola pie.  He’s almost out of the hospital by now.

Zarion: Pie……*imagines monkey made of idiot paste* Did someone just say ‘elf?’ Or was that in my head?

Syrika: He put bombs in the pie instead of cheese. At least it smelled better. He knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy’s Uncle Barbara that ate elves. They tasted chewy. And minty like  a candy cane. And, well, ZARION YOU DISGUST ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Zarion: I like muffins.

Syrika: Bananananananannananannannananananapienananananananannanannaanancheesenanananananannananananananayugioh

Zarion: I am the pretty Wombat Queen, Wombat Queen, I am the pretty Wombat Queen…..OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, yes I am! *sips milk* This tastes weird…..

Syrika: …………………………….

Zarion: I think I’m drunk.

Syrika: 0_o You can’t put that in a kids’ blog!!

Zarion: MY EYES ARE ON FIRE! WHO GAVE ME THAT RABID CHIHUAHUA FOR DINNER??? *DIES*

Syrika: O_o That was a shoe.

Zarion: *un-dies* I SAW HEAVEN! Or maybe that was just a cooking store. Who wants pie? ME! ME! ME! Okay, let me take it out. GIMME! NO, ME! PIE< YOU DEGENERATE WEASEL!

Syrika: You are offending weasels and schizophrenics everywhere. Shame. Shame. Ooh, a cookie!!

Zarion: That’s no cloud. That’s a spaceship.

Syrika: A SPACESHIP??? …aceship….aceship…….macaroni…..aceship….. Uh-oh, my third echo is broken again.

Zarion: Curse you, Perry the Monkey! I will annihilate Spider-Man and the Spider-Cave! *turns into a llama* I WILL SPIT INTO SYRIKA’S THIRD LEFT Eye!

10 hours later…

Syrika: I gave that away to someone. Yay, I’m normalish!!! Ooh, a llama!

Zarion: *snaps back to normal* ……What happened to my milk? Was I drunk again? *sniffs milk*  Okay, someone put happy medicine in my milk! Wait, I sniffed it….*world gets weird again* SWISS!

And thus ends Zarion’s epitaph, and the story of what IDIOT put cactus juice in his milk. I mean, who waits for so long before finally deciding to do EVERYONE a favor and wacko his milk?? It took 46 years for someone to get the memo!!! Thank you, kind stranger!!!!

Mr. Macho: I do what I can.

Zarion: I’m not deeeeeaaaaddddddddd! *dies*

Syrika:  Uncle Barbara put the cactus juice. She/he’s on the run in Canada. What did Canada ever do to it???

 

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