Zarion Kreena: I’m watching the game! I’ve made prediction charts. (pause, bursts out laughing)
Tigerboy: (laughs) Ahh…sarcasm. So, what’s going to happen in the episode?
Zarion Kreena: Not sure. I predict that Kristen Wiig will cameo. Any thoughts from our special guest, Momicon?
Momicon: I will like it because I am a Melissa McCarthy fan, she’s a hoot!!!
Host: Melissa McCarthy
Why She’s Hosting: Either This Is 40, Identity Thief, or The Heat.
Musical Guest: Phoenix
Why They’re Playing: A new album called “Bankrupt!”
Cold Opening- “C-Span
-“Rambling Guy”: Bobby Moynihan is usually funny! Hey, for once, I think the supposedly automated voice is Nasim Pedrad. I don’t see why this is funny, so far. “To lift our nation’s ban on same-sex marriage.” I believe they are making fun of a different senator, who made this decision. Executed? Poor fictional person. “It was because he was hosting a weekly book discussion group at his apartment.” The audience…Ahh, fun with stock footage. Ewww…This is getting dirty. “You will be sent to a labor camp.” Bobby Moynihan’s facial expressions are amusing. “Sweet sixteen” Wow, Kim Jong Un has a March Madness thing. “uncanny vision and heroic foresight.” Cool! The real Dennis Rodman cameod! B-
-Regular Review: It got really dirty in the middle, but the beginning and ending saved it.
-Tigerboy’s Description: Kim Jong Un addresses the United Nations.
-“Rambling Guy”: Those are some interesting heels, according to Momicon. “That seemed like a shorter intro.” “I should have tried these shoes on.” Nice chair. “What’s up with Bloomberg and these little drinks?” “Even the rats are sneezing.” I like slapstick! “This smells like a lot of musicians.” Usually, I don’t like singing, but this is amusing. Taran Killam is a good singer. “No, I got it!” “Mr. Worrywart ,I got it!” “He gets nervous. He likes to hold hands.” “What, I live in heels!” “I can not feel anything from my arch to my toe. You can just bite that part off.” It’s happening again!” A
-Regular Review: You know, I always think of the monologues as the actors playing fictionalized versions of themselves. This reinforced my theory AND made me laugh. Bonus.
-Tigerboy’s Description: Melissa’s heels are giving her some trouble.
ESPN- “Outside The Lines”:
-“Rambling Guy”: I heard about that on CNN Student News. Melissa McCarthy is funny! “While they were on roller skates.” Usually, swearing offends me, but it is making me laugh, this time. “Begged for me to replace her” Shes’ throwing basketballs in the room! Tasers?? Now the swearing is offending me. “Kenny Walkins had changed his tune.” She’s outside the window!!! SHE THREW A TOASTER! “You seemed offensive.” “It’s not like I drove a golf cart through practice.” “But she did.” “Were you the ones who injured them?” “Harvests the organs of his players and sells them for personal gain.” B
-Tigerboy’s Description: Mike Rice is nothing compared to Sheila Kelly! *dodgeball hits me* No, no! She’s a good person! She’s a good person!
-“Rambling Guy”: Slight mistake. “And a goat that screams like a person.” What is she singing? “Don’t mess with my tutu!” It’s amusing to see Adam Levine being made fun of, after he hosted. “They told me that if I went on this show, I would get a week off from work.” “I’d say I’m pretty skeptical.” “Taking trailer hitches off of U-Hauls.” “Is there anyone that does not get picked by you guys?” She has a very strong accent. “I don’t know what you just said.” They’re just saying nonsense! “No, I do not have hot-water tanks.” “Oh, he’s an alcoholic.” “I live in a basement, except there’s no roof.” A hole???? “You have so much misplaced enthusiasm.” A
-Regular Review: After seeing a real commercial based on this, the impressions of everything were spot-on! Melissa’s character made me laugh!
-Tigerboy’s Description: The judges will root for you, no matter how bad you are!
-“Rambling Guy”: Okay, some kind of ham contest. “It’s an exciting meat.” Melissa’s costumes are impressive. “I made a ham every day.” That is a very impressive presentation. Wow….she pretended to haul them in and slaughter them. A
-Regular Review: Dancing, funny. Singing, funny. Characters, funny.
-Tigerboy’s Description: McCarthy’s character tries to impress the judges at a party.
Public Service Announcement for Decency:
-“Rambling Guy”: This is creepy….Ewwww…”It’s a fully functional office….in the bathroom.” “And begin anchoring the shelves…” That’s a lot of steps….”I can’t get out!” Ewww….”Nothing’s that important. And it’s disgusting.” A
-Regular Review: I really thought it was a normal commercial parody, but it turned out to be a fake PSA.
-Tigerboy’s Description: Don’t use technology in the bathroom. Really, just don’t.
Musical Performance 1:
-“Rambling Guy”: I like the music, so far. Nice drum set. I just wish there was a banjo….Okay, they’re singing “Entertainment.” Good music, the singing is not annoying, and appropriate lyrics. I give it an A.
-Regular Review: See “Rambling Guy.”
-Tigerboy’s Description: Phoenix plays “Entertainment.”
-“Rambling Guy”: “So let this be a warning to you, middle of the ocean!” “must have been an amazing brunch!” YES!! Recurring character!!! WOOO! “And besides, it beats doin’ homework!” “Sounds like my brother Ethan, when my mother, asks him to turn down his rock music!” “Pretty bad, but it beats doin’ homework!” He just keeps ignoring him. Breaking character! “Number one: Thou shalt not do homework! But, it beats doin’ homework!” “I feel like you’re on autopilot, now, Jacob.” “My cat, David Ben Purion.” “So give that special someone the gift that says “I don’t know what you like.”” Funny airline joke. Funny Sesame Street joke. “It’s for things to get worse.” Hooray! Kenan Thompson! “And (censored) if I ever lost so much money!” “I had to (unintelligible) sell my hair!” “Oh, they must be crazy!” “I don’t know anything about college basketball!” “And Michael Jordan is the Michael Jordan of gambling too much!” Oh, the person who broke his leg, Kevin Ware. “I’m going to start at Chapter 10 so I’ll get done faster!” “Gambling addiction, ya’ll!” “Nothing makes for safer driving than looking up and seeing a clown!” “In your grey dress from Target!” “Quick kid, get in the car! I think this guy is a bronie!” And here’s the part where this episode gets bad and racist. Oh, well. “People don’t even dress up for taxes anymore.” “Do you know what I’m writing off this year? The next generation!” “Stop throwing asteroids at us!” I feel very annoyed at the writers. Ewww…..What is SnapChat, anyway? He’s singing! And now he’s crying. Cameo? Okay, it’s Peter Dinklage. Thank you, Wikipedia. “Marco! Rubio!” Now they’re both singing! B
-Regular Review: Most of this made me laugh, but, as always, the “Drunk Uncle” portion offended me. Still, he did have some amusing parts.
-Tigerboy’s Description: Seth Meyers makes political jokes, speaks with Jacob, Charles Barkley, and Drunk Uncle.
-“Rambling Guy”: This seems good, judging from the clip of them setting up. McCarthy is playing a Vanna-type person. “Suzette left because of an alcohol problem! Mine! I’m a terrible drunk!” Feather toss? “I’m going to pretend the x is in love with my feet!” She’s pulling the wrong letters! The dinging noise is getting annoying. “There are absolutely no D’s, (unintelligible)” “There are eight D’s.” She is an excellent actor! “You stay put! I’m getting paid to do this job!” She’s revealing the whole thing! “I imagine you would.” “A stitch in time saves time!” A
-Regular Review: Everything about this made me laugh.
-Tigerboy’s Description: The word-turner on a game show could use a few lessons.
Getting Pizza Money:
-“Rambling Guy”: Okay, a bank. I think it’s her character again from the yogurt sketch last season! I’m confused. “You expect us to give you money so you can buy pizza?” This is amusing. Never mind, now I think it’s her character from the disgusting office sketch last season. “What part of that book did you actually read?” “I legitimately love eating pizza.” Why is she clearing his desk? “Do you want the crispy hot or do you want the soggy, two day pizza?” “No, it says pizza! It’s written! Let’s go!” SHE’S EATING IT! She is a very good actress. B+
-Regular Review: It was a bit hard to follow, at first. The middle portion really made me laugh, but the ending felt a little flat. Still, it amused me.
-Tigerboy’s Description: A pizza-loving woman tries to make a business that involves her eating pizza.
Musical Performance 2:
-“Rambling Guy”: I hope this is as good as the first part. I like the music, again. Momicon was right; The musicians do look like stoners. The singing doesn’t annoy me, but it vaguely sounds like they’re stoned right now. Okay, the lyrics are weird (i.e. cannibal boyfriends, pink and white binoculars), but at least they are appropriate. They’re singing “Trying To Be Cool.” A
-Regular Review: See “Rambling Guy.”
-Tigerboy’s Description: Phoenix plays “Trying To Be Cool.”
The Art Of The Encounter:
-“Rambling Guy”: Uh, oh..This sounds like it’s going to be dirty. “Are you at a party and drop your steak on the floor because you’re so nervous?” “Four thousand dollars worth of damage” “I’m desperate for a man.” She’s drinking straight from the punch bowl! “Personal health scares” “Thirteen was one of them!” “Wait until I start talking about blazers and travel mugs!” Ewww….. “Boy, who knew there was so many cereals!” Splits on faces? EWWWW! Bobby Moynihan and Tim Robinson look creepy. B-
-Regular Review: The sketch featured minor dirty parts, but it could have been worse.
-Tigerboy’s Description: How to find the best conversation with Mr. Right!
-“Rambling Guy”: I was correct. Dennis Rodman and Peter Dinklage cameod.
-Regular Review: N/A
-Tigerboy’s Description: N/A
Closing Comments: For the first time, I liked every single sketch! WOO! Perfect episode! Or, as close as it can get.
Best Sketch: “Million Dollar Wheel”
Worst Sketch: “Cold Opening” or “The Art of the Encounter.”
Best(and worst, as there was only one) Commercial Parody: “Public Service Announcement”
Overall Rating: 93%/A-