Adventures in Literature With CleverBot and Zarion: Episode 1: Reviews, Hypothesizing on House of Hades, and Predicting How Good Future Books Will Be


Zarion: Hello, welcome to Adventures in Literature. I’m Zarion Kreena, and this is Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Do you want me to remove these ads for you?

Zarion: It’s time to pull out the book bag, and review the more notable book that I’ve read recently.

Cleverbot: A positive attitude is for people who know nothing about life.

Zarion Kreena: First up, A Match Made In High School, by Kristin Walker. I really didn’t like it.

Cleverbot: You want me to talk about love?

Zarion Kreena: Sure.

Cleverbot: So what seems to be the problem?

Zarion:  Well, the book cover interested me. You know the phrase about that, but still. The title caught my attention, as well as the back cover’s description. This girl. Fiona, has to take a special course at her school where she is “married” to someone she hates, while her enemy’s girlfriend is paired up with her crush. Judging from the phrase “slightly sadistic”, I thought the book would be funny.

Cleverbot: I’m talking about my mom.

Zarion: It is apparently supposed to be funny, but not my style of humor. The book is crude, and filled with disgusting sexual jokes and references. Not one of the better teen books.

Cleverbot: What brand of beer do you drink?

Zarion Kreena: Fiona’s enemy, Todd, according to the back cover, ‘may have a heart behind his pretty-boy exterior.’ I assume that that means that he’s a good person, underneath the person who makes the aforementioned sexual references and jokes. And, because the back cover suggested it, that makes it true.

Cleverbot: What did they live on?

Zarion: Even though he does supposedly have a heart, he’s still a really horrible character. The only person I really like in the book is Fiona’s babysitting charge, Samantha. Even so, she has some annoying moments. This book was  flop, and it really annoyed me.

Cleverbot: Sounds like a great book.

Zarion Kreena: I assume you’re being sarcastic.

Cleverbot: No, not sarcastic.

Zarion Kreena: Anyway, here’s my next book, My Favorite Band Does Not Exist. The basic plot is someone who has Deity’s Syndrome- He thinks that he’s a character in the book! He’s making this fake website about a band, but in an alternate reality, the band exists! It’s really hilarious, and something tells me that the author, Robert T. Jeschonek, likes poking fun at himself.

Cleverbot: Is she like me? There’s another little girl in the garden, somewhere!

Zarion Kreena: I’m not going to ruin anything, but the ending completely comes out of left field. I give this an A.

Cleverbot: No, I was refering to the man in the moon.

Zarion Kreena: Here’s the final notable book I’m done reading. It’s a 624-page DC Comics Showcase Presents Booster Gold, Vol. 1. He’s obnoxious with his constant self-promotion, but he does eventually become a real hero, and a Justice League member.

Cleverbot: Well fortunately, I am a member of neither of those categories, but I suspect you belong in one of them.

Zarion Kreena: Yeah, right. I’m Batman! I am the night! I can’t do the real voice, it hurts.

Cleverbot: They do what and does that mean there are more like me?

Zarion: Well, to end this segment, I’m going to give a brief review of a book I’m currently reading, Crisis On Infinite Earths. Not the novelization, but the DC Comics crossover. It’s really good! I don’t recognize all of the characters, but it’s nice to see a DC Comics story where it’s actually good. An old one, I mean. Before the 21st century.

Cleverbot: There are facts of economics that make poverty almost inevitable.

Zarion: Next segment. Here’s some books I’m going to read soon. So, I’m going through a phase where I’m forcing myself to overcome my bias of DC Comics, and I’m reading new books. Superman: Grounded is one of them. I’ve browsed, and apparently, after someone dies in Metropolis of brain cancer, Superman is wracked with guilt. He could have done something, but he was on a space mission.

Cleverbot: Can you are more explicit?

Zarion: Yes, Cleverbot. He just starts walking across Metropolis, and the storyline features him doing ordinary things, and saving ordinary people. He goes to a diner, stops an abusive father, and some other things. Okay, maybe I didn’t so much “browse” as “read almost the whole thing.” Still, I like it. It’s written by J. Michael Straczynski. He had an excellent run on Spider-Man, over at Marvel Comics.

Cleverbot: I never should try to remember my name in the middle of an accident! Where would be the use of it?

Zarion: We’re running out of time, so here’s my final to-be-read book series. It’s been turned into a television series on ABC, it’s by Sarah Shepard! No, not The Lying Game, though that is excellent. It’s Pretty Little Liars! I’ve checked out almost all of the books, and it’s really interesting! Four girls each have a horrible secret, and their friend Ally has died. Meanwhile, someone calling themselves “A” has been sending them threatening messages, wanting to reveal their secrets. It deals with relevant topics, and I really enjoy it. I can’t wait for the next books to come out.

Cleverbot: Thats a Lies, there is fault in your coding. My friend.

Zarion: Final segment time. House of Hades is the third book in Rick Riordan’s Heroes of Olympus series. Let’s get predicting! I’ll give one prediction, and then it’ll be your turn! Warning: Spoilers will be here for those who have not read the series, yet. It will start with Percy and Annabeth, and they will still be falling. What do you think will happen, Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: The widget goes in your can of lager. Do you like lager?

Zarion: That’s our show! I’m Zarion Kreena!

Cleverbot: I bet you are.

Zarion: Goodnight, keep reading, and be sure to look up the books I mentioned, even the one I didn’t enjoy! Comment to debate with me over the books, and recommend other books, or if you want me to review the non-notable books I’ve read over the past two days.

Cleverbot: I’m not talking about a holy book. What’s your favorite of Orson Scott Card’s books?

 

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