STORY: The Joker and Deadpool: Best Friends?


Meanwhile, The Bar With No Name…(It’s in Marvel continuity! Look it up! -Zach)

Many criminals, whether super-powered or not, liked to hang out at The Bar With No Name. You could relax from an exhausting prison break, get some tips on what to do better, and drink. There’s a rec center, a science lab- You know? Just go read this. Villains from both Marvel and DC, the best comic universes, were there. (Yes, even Silver Age and 7o’s DC. They were in the “Let’s Take Pity On Them” room.”

In the recreation room…

The Riddler smugly walked over to his armchair, but gasped when he saw it. “Okay, riddle me this: WHO TOOK MY NOTEBOOK?”

Cluemaster looked up from his laptop. “Not me, dork. I wouldn’t touch your riddles with a 5-bit algorithm. My puzzles are better! I nearly killed-”

“Oh, shut up!” Ridder was now throwing papers around, frantically searching. “Come, on! I need to win this contest! Okay, stop the contest. STOP! Enigma?”

Two Enigmas looked up. “What?”

“No, not you! YOU!”

The two enigmas looked confused. One scratched her head.

“Okay, this is the problem! Too many people have the same name!”

Fiddler joined the conversation. “Or names that are too similar! People keep confusing me for you! It’s embarrassing!”

Riddler looked dubious. “I have one of the greatest strategical minds this world has ever seen-” The Mad Thinker rolled his eyes at this point- “and you play fiddles. I don’t think you understand who should be embarrassed here. You think the heroes ever have this problem?”

Cut to the Heroes’ Bar

Captain America grabbed his shield, and ran out the door to stop villainy, closely followed by the other Captain America, from the seventies! “Hey, Captain Marvel, you coming?”

Immediately, Captain Marvel from DC Comics, Mary Marvel from DC Comics, Captain Marvel Jr. from DC Comics, Captain Mar-Vell, Monica Rambeau, Genis-Vell, Phyla-Vell, Captain Marvel (Khn’nr), Mahr Vehl, Noh-Varr, and Carol Danvers rushed up to help. (Captain Marvel from Amalgam Comics, a combination of Marvel and DC comics, merely looked sad, and pouted.)

Cut Back To The Bar With No Name

Cluemaster said, “I’m the only Cluemaster there is, idiot.”

“Yeah, but did you see your portrayal in The Batman?” Riddler retorted.

A new voice was heard. “Yeah, that was horrible! Like ugly on an ape!” It was the Joker.

Gorilla Grodd growled, “GRAH FRAH GRAH BARLAFH!” It translated as something similar to “Shut up now, clown, before I rip off your face and beat you with it!”

The Joker scurried away, but not before subtly putting some acid in Grodd’s tea. That would teach him to be rude.

With a bang, the door flew open! Deadpool walked in the door, holding the shattered remains of a Segway and eating a chimichanga.  As soon as he saw the Joker, he stuffed the chimichanga in his mouth, and pulled out a lightsaber. “CFwma….” (He  was actually saying ‘clown’, but he was still trying to eat the ten-foot long chimichanga in one mouthful.)

The Joker’s eyes narrowed. “Merc…” he hissed.

Everyone knew that whenever two or more villains with the same general  motif clashed, there was going to be trouble. And when the two villains in question are unstable killers who consider themselves funny, things were only going to get pun-filled and bloody. Well, except for question-themed villains like the Riddler. They just have contests.

Louie, the bartender, quickly ran toward them before any violence happened. “Okay, you remember the rules? NO weapons! I’m not paying for more bar renovation, ”Pool! Remember what you did with my miniature bowling alley?”

Deadpool lost himself in memories. “Ahh…That was epic! The Prankster never did unstick his head from the toilet.”

“What? No, that’s completely different! Where is Prankster, anyway?” Muffled screaming could be heard in the bathroom. “Anyway, ,you both can’t have weapons, and if you want to use weapons, leave! Go! Pull out all your weapons!”

Five hours later…

The Joker was half-way done. Deadpool was commenting on all of his gadgets. “Pie bomb? Pheh, saw it on Spongebob! Ah, the Joker Gas! A classic….because it’s so old, Batman gave out antidotes to everyone in the city! You can buy it at the supermarket! Boom, roasted! Razor-tipped playing cards? STEREOTYPICAL! LAAAAAAAAME! I had better weapons when Christopher Priest wrote for me, and he was a hack! I killed him in his last issue!”

10 hours later….

Deadpool was still ranting. “And why did Daniel Way have to leave Thunderbolts AND my comic?? Dude really knew how my mind worked. Well, I had to show him my brain, first. And feed it to him….Eh. I’m not complaining about Duggan, though. Bro knows how to PARTY! Danny Way might be in an hospital now, I destroyed his mind. Hey, speaking of crazy people, this author is INSANE! COME ON! Write me in first-person! I want the world to see MAH INNA MONOLOGUE! ANd mah two voices! At least Agent Preston isn’t stuck in my mind in this continuity! Also, I gots a video game comin’! Hash tag SPOILER ALERT and VIDEO GAME!!!!” 

Inside Deadpool’s mind, Agent Preston rolled her eyes. “Why do I have to deal with this lunatic?”

Deadpool suddenly sat down. “I’m bored. Hey, clown? Want to be friends?”

“No.” The Joker said, right before he shot Deadpool in the head.

“G-good thing I can heal……hashtag….cough….TV…tropes…..” Deadpool’s charred skull said.

NEXT TIME ON THE JOKER AND DEADPOOL

The Joker sipped a soda made out of Batman’s blood. Deadpool stole the soda and drank it. The Joker decapitated Deadpool. Then, Deadpool’s head said, “Zach’s lying! THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN IN THE NEXT STORY! COMMENT AND SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE HUMOR, ME, AND SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION!”

“Man Refuses To Stop Working On Memorial Day”: Pilot Story In The Zachary News Network


Today, Mr. Fenbrick of the Fenbrick Shoe store chain was put under arrest by the Massachusetts police for repeatedly refusing to close his store on Memorial Day. His neighbor, Joe Davis, filed the complaints at approximately 7:05 am this morning.

“I just kept phonin’ the police.” he allegedly told reporters. “We’re supposed to leave work, but he kept his store open. Even put a little bell on the door to alert him when customers came in. That’s just criminal.”

When the police arrived, Mr. Fenbrick was outside, with a microphone, urging customers to come inside and buy some shoes. They hauled him into custody, where he has been. I interviewed the warden for more information on this scandal. He did not wish to be identified.

ZNN: Did the perpetrator commit more acts in prison?

Warden: Yes. He tried to offer me coupons to his store, along with a special on ‘deluxe leather.’ I immediately confiscated all of it for evidence.

ZNN: What do you think the courts will make of this?

Warden: I honestly don’t know, to be sure, but it ain’t gonna be good. I mean…Gosh…Keeping your store open on Memorial Day…It’s a travesty.

After that, I could no longer collect information. Keep coming here for news on this breaking story.

REVIEW: MARVEL’s Avengers Assemble S1 E1&2: The Avengers Protocol


Here’s my review for Marvel Disassembled.

MARVEL Disassembled

Okay, before anyone reads this, I want you to check this out first. People have been complaining about Earth’s Mightiest Heroes and Avengers Assemble. I really don’t like the complaining, and I want to stop it right at the start. If you have to swear at me, then do it on my own blog, not here. That’s done, on to the review!

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The Mad Philosopher: People Complaining About Marvel’s Avengers Assemble Vs. Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes


Okay, people. I’m not going to be rude, I just want to say this. I’m going to be reviewing Marvel’s Avengers Assemble  on http://marveldisassembled.com/, and if you are generous enough to comment, I really don’t want to here any hate-filled rants. I’m about nice comments. I like to respond to hateful YouTube comments with nice YouTube comments. Sadly, there’s so many cruel YouTube comments (Ex: Dan Slott, Marvel’s Avengers Assemble, alleged declining quality of the Marvel AR videos), that I’m forced to only respond nicely to a select few.

1) You might say that this new television show is just a way to hype the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but was EMH (Earth’s Mightiest Heroes) not airing a time where movies were leading up to the movie version of The Avengers? Basically, both of them hype Marvel movies and comics in one way or another.

2) Also, Avengers Assemble does not seem like Ultimate Spider-Man. I’m not even going to go into the controversy regarding that. There’s no fourth-wall breaking, no weird hallucinations, just snarky heroes/villains.

So, PLEASE, just give it a chance. Personally, I liked EMH, but I didn’t agree with some of the things it did. So far, both of these television shows are well written. Just watch some episodes, and compare them. I’m out, it’s time to start reviewing Marvel’s Avengers Assemble. Have an excellent day.

 

Original (Satirical) Song: “I’m a CHEATER!”


Somebody I Used To Copy Off: An Original Song  By Zachary Krishef 

Now and then I remember the times I had tests and quizzes

They were really hard; I never knew what to do

I didn’t study at all- Too busy playing video games!

So I looked over someone’s shoulder and COPIED!

 

I cheated, I cheated, I cheated so much!

From dawn to dusk I spied on my seat neighbor!

His name was Fred, and he was an academic genius!

Too busy studying to see I was copyin’

 

In preschool, I cheated on my building blocks test.

Stole some counterfeit blocks from the neighborhood kids

Made the word “academic” and got a gold star

I’m a CHEATER, I’m a CHEATER!

 

In kindergarten, we had nap time.

I CHEATED on my nap time!

Stole a pillow, and pretended it was my head!

When the pillow was caught, I thought I was dead!

Got away with it, now I cheat every day!

 

I’m in COLLEGE

Fred is my seat neighbor, again

Blocks his tests with a folder

I HAVE A PERISCOPE! (I’m a cheater….)

 

I’m a CHEATER, I’m a CHEATER, I’m a CHEATER so much!

It’s fun, it’s easy, and I never get in trouble!

See, kids- Never do your own work!

Now I have a job and I’m cheating on my taxes!

 

Fred is my boss- he figured out I was cheating.

Getting fired now, karma got to me

IRS is interrogating me, I say I’m not a member of the Tea Party (Note: Yes, this is a heavy-handed attempt at current event satire. Just go with it; This is a satirical song.)

In jail now and I feel sad.

 

This is just to show you

Cheating is for losers!

I thought I was a winner, now I’m on death row!

The End

**Note: I have never cheated, but I know it will not end up with you on Death Row. Still, don’t cheat. -Zach

MARVEL Disassembled: Year One


I am honored to be a member of Marvel Disassembled! Can’t wait to send in my review of Avengers Assemble on Sunday!

MARVEL Disassembled

It’s strange to think that today marks the one year anniversary of this little project that goes by MARVEL Disassembled. As I look back on it I would have to argue that it ranks pretty highly on my list of the worst decisions that I’ve made, but at the same time I enjoy and am happy with everything that we’ve achieved so far.

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A Rundown On The Posts You May See In The Future


Hello, everyone! I have been bizarrely busy, thus the lack of posts. Still, I have ideas, and I want to share them with you. Oh, and the not-so-clever titles for this are not the post names, but I may change them. It depends on how much I like them. 3. 2. 1..action!

1) Beware The Harlem Shake: I was watching the YouTube Comedy Week “YouTube Challenge Challenge”, and the Harlem Shake got stuck in my head. Now, I think it would be funny if I made some kind of story that portrays it as something evil that controls your body and forces you to dance.

2) “Sideburns”: I watched a Tobuscus YouTube video with my sister last week. The main character sang a song about sideburns that sounded like Skyfall. Song parody time!

3) Joker and Deadpool: Best Friends?: A bizarre little fanfiction of mine. Deadpool and the Joker meet. This post was meant to set it up. If you look closely, you’ll see that I actually mention this at the end.

4) Choose Your Own Blog Post: Choose Your Own Adventure, but in blog post form. Multiple blog posts, random story. Even if I do have time, don’t expect to see this anytime soon. It will take a long time to write.

That’s it. Comment if you want, or add some suggestions. I just hope that everyone will enjoy them. Have a great day!