Mad Philosopher: Mother’s Day Lateness

This is a new segment where I rant (but no swearing) on things that bug me. So far today, I’ve got 47 views,  and most of them are from my failed Mother’s Day song parody. I have to say, YOU PEOPLE ARE LAZY! Do you want to steal my bad song to give to your mothers?? Get presents early! Bad, bad, bad!!! Here’s some last minute suggestions for you, lazybones. (And I insult you affectionately.) These also work for husbands, as well as children.

What To Get:

*Candy: Just go to a store!!! In my town, we have Meijer’s. Open 24 hours, and I think I know where the candy can be found. Box of chocolates, giant bag of M&M’s, chocolate rose- I don’t know!

*Flowers: Roses? Bouquets? I don’t know, just try something. Please!

*Do Everything Work-Related She Would Do In One Day (Or, If You’re Up To It, A Week): Self-explanatory.

*Take Her To A Movie: Find out what she wants to see. Take her to it.

*Make Her A Card: Or, if you HAVE TO GET  ONE, make it exceptionally good. No cheesy things, no raunchiness (unless she doesn’t hate raunchy cards), no cards with THE WRONG HOLIDAY. Shame, shame, shame.

What Not To Get:

*Home-Made Coupons: Unless they’re worth some REALLY good things.

*A Dead Skunk: Self-explanatory.

*Free Banjo Lessons: Unless she likes the banjo. (I like the banjo, but I am not a mom. Or a women.)

This has been my rant. Have a nice day, and follow the advice. It may also work for anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays. Do not sue me for misleading advice.


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