Today, Mr. Fenbrick of the Fenbrick Shoe store chain was put under arrest by the Massachusetts police for repeatedly refusing to close his store on Memorial Day. His neighbor, Joe Davis, filed the complaints at approximately 7:05 am this morning.
“I just kept phonin’ the police.” he allegedly told reporters. “We’re supposed to leave work, but he kept his store open. Even put a little bell on the door to alert him when customers came in. That’s just criminal.”
When the police arrived, Mr. Fenbrick was outside, with a microphone, urging customers to come inside and buy some shoes. They hauled him into custody, where he has been. I interviewed the warden for more information on this scandal. He did not wish to be identified.
ZNN: Did the perpetrator commit more acts in prison?
Warden: Yes. He tried to offer me coupons to his store, along with a special on ‘deluxe leather.’ I immediately confiscated all of it for evidence.
ZNN: What do you think the courts will make of this?
Warden: I honestly don’t know, to be sure, but it ain’t gonna be good. I mean…Gosh…Keeping your store open on Memorial Day…It’s a travesty.
After that, I could no longer collect information. Keep coming here for news on this breaking story.