Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Parody: Lenny, the Stereotypically Slow Turtle

*LYRICS TAKEN FROM THIS WEBSITE- http://alyrics.ucoz.com/load/t/teenage_mutant_ninja_turtles_theme_song/5-1-0-26028 (Except for the part about Lenny)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Heroes in a half shell
Turtle power!

Here we go! It’s the lean, green, ninja team
On the scene, cool teens doing ninja things
So extreme, out the sewers like laser beams
Get rocked with the shell-shocked pizza kings

Can’t stop these radical dudes
The secret of the ooze made the chosen few
Emerge from the shadows to make their move
The good guys win and the bad guys lose

Leonardo’s the leader in blue,
Does anything it takes to get his ninjas through
Donatello is a fellow, has a way with machines
Raphael has the most attitude on the team
Michelangelo, he’s one of a kind,

Lenny, he’s not very effective
And you know just where to find him when it’s party time
Master Splinter taught them every single skill they need (except for Lenny)
To be one lean, mean, green incredible team (except for Lenny)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Heroes in a half shell
Turtle power!


In an abandoned warehouse, the Krang are plotting something mysterious. The Turtles must spy on them, undercover. Right now, they are in the process of choosing the spy.

“Okay, people. Who’s it going to be?” said Leonardo.

Mikey hopped up and down. “Ooh, ooh! ME!” Everyone simultaneously shouted, “NO!”, and whacked Leo in the back of the head. For some reason, even Leo did that, making the rest of the turtles look at him oddly.

“What?” he protested. “It’s a reflex.”

Master Splinter entered the room. “Turtles, I have your spy. Does any of you remember your cousin Lenny?”

The Turtles paled. Lenny was pretty much an ordinary turtle. He could use weapons, stop villains, and eat pizza. The only problem was that he had the speed of a normal turtle.

“Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuyssssss………………” moaned Lenny. “I caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan”””””t waiiiiiiiiiiiiit to wooooooooooork wiiiiiiiiiiiiith youuuuuuuuuuuuuu.”


“Now, now.” Master Splinter said. “This will teach you patience.”

More like revenge for when Mikey spiked his food. Raphael thought. He slapped Mikey, who instantly gave him a “Dude!?” look. This earned him another slap.

At the warehouse…

Krang!Lenny crawled into the room. “Heeeeeeeeeeeeeello, feeeeeeellllllooowwww Kraaaaaaaaaaaaannngggg. I’mmmmm oneeee offff youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.”

“What is this myterious organic Earth-Terra Prime creature of mysteriousness?” one of them gurgled. “It can not be one of us, right?”

“Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm oooooooooooone offffffffffffff youuuuuuuuuuuuu.” Lenny said, “AAaaaaask meeeee aanyyyttthhhhinnngggg.”

“What is our master plan?” the Krang Leader said.

“Uuuuuuuhhhh……..uuuhhhhhhh………..uuuhhhhh…………uuhhhh…………..Deeeeesssssttrrooyyyy alllllll tuuurrrrttttlllleessss?”

“YES! Attack!”

Lenny was killed. Little did he know that the Turtles had placed a sign on his back saying, “I am a turtle.” The Turtles thought that they had gotten away with this travesty, but there was a devastating punishment in store for them. Their upcoming feature film would be a box office bomb.


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