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*Kermit the Frog has been tapped to play Thomas Edison in a brand new biopic! Sources report that it will feature a revamped version of “Mahna Mahna”, as well as cameos from One Direction, Charlie Sheen, Kate Middleton, Miranda Cosgrove, and Bill Hader!
*Wii Fit has teamed up with McDonald’s to turn the Shamrock Shake into a health-themed video game entitled the Shamrock Shake It! Beta test reports have reported that it seems rather hypocritical, but it gives you ‘free shakes if you pass, so eh.’
*Justin Bieber has crashed a car. Various ‘Beliebers’ blame the telephone pole for being in his way.
*Marvel is creating another Howard the Duck movie. He is expected to costar in the third installment of Marvel’s The Avengers. Heaven help us all.
*And, finally, Dan Slott has revealed plans to switch Spider-Man 2099’s brain with the Superior Spider-Man’s brain. Then, they will team up with literally every other character Dan Slott has ever written for and do a mass Vulcan mind meld. I like it!
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GAHHHH!! I’ve been possessed! For Miscellaneous Soup, we’re Venom!Zachary Krishef! Have an excellent night. We’ll be watching you! BWAAHAHAHAHHA!