Hi, there! Have you heard that the Muppets may be in Broadway? Got mauled during Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark? Well, this is the play for you! Marvel wants to compete with the Muppets, and compete with the world’s best puppets! (Not you, Fraggle Rock!) They have created the play equivalent of the 616 universe! Here’s just one example of their musical!
“I’m Swinging In The Rain”, by Spider-Man
I’m swinging in the rain, just swinging in the rain! What a miserable feeling/Never be happy again! I’m missing my uncle, so sad right now, the bullet’s in his heart, and I miss Uncle Ben!
Wasn’t that great? Next up, here’s Wolverine and Deadpool, singing their heartwarming take on America’s darling, Annie.
“Our Skin Will Grow Back Tomorrow”,by Wolverine and Deadpool
Wolverine: Our skin will grow back-
Deadpool: Tomorrow! Bet your Weapon X
Wolverine: That tomorrow
Deadpool: We’ll be healed!
Wolverine: Just thinking about tomorrow,
Deadpool: We can fight again!
Wolverine: Swords and knives and bullets-
Deadpool: No matter what….
Both: Our skin will grow back…tomorrow…..
Deadpool: (shoves Wolverine aside) Give me a movie, Marvel! Singing my pleads!
Of course, we have to mention our various “Next Big Things! (*AGE OF ULTRON SPOILERS)
“No One Understands The Ultron”, by Ultron, Generic Robots, Hank Pym
Generic Robots: Bad comic! It’s confusing! The Age Of Ultron is over! The crossoveringest storyline of all is over! Good news! Good news!
Hank Pym: I’m hated by everyone!
Ultron: Rejoice for me, rejoice for me, because I wasn’t in Age of Ultron! Let us celebrate that Joe Quesada hardly used me! Ultimate Universe, Galactus, and the Vision, but he hardly used me!
Generic Robots: No one reads the badly written!
Hank Pym: I do!
Ultron, Generic Robots: SHUT UP!
Finally, you all know our popular Marvel Zombies title. Here’s a classic reinterpretation of Les Miserables’s “One Day More.” Wait, who’s there? Someone’s in the recording studio. Hello? HELLO? GAHHHHHH! STOP STABBING ME WITH A CARROT!!!! Who are you?? Ow! That-Gaahahhhhhhhh…..Ack.
Is he dead? WOO! Okay, listeners! This is a live commercial, and here’s what I have to say! Like Grease? I don’t care! I’m Deadpool, and this is MY song! CHIMICHANGAS!
“Gee, Kevin Feige”, by Deadpool
Dear awesome Kevin Feige, you gotta understand! My movie would be great! Don’t judge my violence! I was made in the nineties!
They had sweet guns, and random pouches! Over the top gore, and apocalyptic scenarios! I’m a victim of coicumstance! Come on, I got my own video game, and an appearance on Ultimate Spider-Man! Just give me a chance!
Gee, Fox Studios! I hate you, now! You made a mockery of me in Wolverine: Origins, just like Batman And Robin ruined everything! I’m moving to Marvel Studios! What do you say, Kevin Feige? Marvel Cinematic Universe- Deadpool? Thanos hates me, and I love Death! She’s a pretty lady, just like….Uh……………………………..Gwen Stacy! Please?
Fans will come rushing, box office sales will be gushing, I’ll outshine Marvel’s The Avengers! I know this song parody isn’t in tune, but let me beg: Please, oh please, LET ME HAVE A MOVIE! I SAW REYNOLD’S ANNOUNCEMENT, DARN IT! PLEASE? Wait, I’m getting cut off! Nooooooo…
The Marvel Comics Broadway Show! Come for the heroes, stay for the affectionate parodies! Coming to Broadway as soon as we make a comic book event that fits in with it! GIVE ME A MOVIE!