FAKE Breaking Bad Spoilers (From Someone Who Has Never Seen Breaking Bad)

1. It’s all a fever dream in the mind of Kermit the Frog.

2. Drugs are actually candy.

3. Jesse is a Martian.

4. Walt is actually Walt Whitman.

5. The whole series is an alternate ending to Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

6. The whole thing is an alternate ending to The West Wing.

7. Nobody had cancer. It was actually a really bad sunburn combined with a cold.

8. Stephen Colbert is Jesse.

9. All of the fake Breaking Bad spoilers on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon are true.

10. All of them are false.

11. Breaking Bad will end with a song and dance by the ghosts of Richard Nixon and Peter Pan.

12. Everyone dies from a nuclear apocalypse.

13. The Walking Dead (another show I have not seen) crosses over with it in the last five minutes.

14. No one is alive. They are all ghosts, putting on a play for other ghosts.

15. When Walt sells more drugs, he will turn into a unicorn.

16. Walter is a Pillow Pet.

17. The whole series is a dream from the mind of Liz Lemon.