AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!! (insert completely opposite reaction to Harry Potter news here) NO NO NO NO NO NO NO….Please….Don’t randomly cram pop stars into a movie…Please….Okay, my review of the original Maximum Ride trilogy will be up today. I just wanted to rant. I really don’t mind if Ben Affleck plays Batman. He seems to be a good actor. Bieber has only been on SNL. The writing was good, his acting was bad. Bye, everyone. I will begin writing my review! It may be up by tomorrow, though. Have an excellent evening!
Zarion Kreena: I’m Zarion!
Tigerboy: And I’m Tigerboy!
Zarion: Welcome to a HORRIBLE episode of Saturday Night Live!
Tigerboy: Hey, don’t be biased!
Zarion: I hate Justin Bieber!
Tigerboy: I don’t care. Be patient. The writers will make fun of him.
Zarion: Okay….I’ll only be biased on the musical performances. Deal?
Zarion Kreena: Besides, the Weekend Update is, for the most part, funny. We have a great review for you tonight! I’m here, doing my “Rambling Guy” reviews and “Regular Reviews!”
Tigerboy: And I’m here, giving bad descriptions! But, I’m getting better.
Zarion Kreena: Quick predictions. Jay Pharoah will play Barack Obama, and they will make fun of Justin Bieber mispelling Lorne Michael’s name on an instagram, whatever that is. I have only seen it in the articles. Oh, well. On with the review!
Host: Justin Bieber
Note: I will set aside my bias for him, just as I set aside my Seth McFarlane bias. Let’s hope this episode is better.
Why He’s Hosting: His new album, Believe Acoustic.
Note: I am not a fan of him. I only know it from this article. http://www.billboard.com/news/justin-bieber-hosting-performing-on-snl-1008075242.story#/news/justin-bieber-hosting-performing-on-snl-1008075242.story
Musical Guest: Justin Bieber
Why He’s Playing: See above.
Cold Opening– “Super Bowl Live At CBS”
-“Rambling Guy”: Cool! Kenan Thompson is James Brown! Yes, the power outage. “I can’t watch those again.” “I’m running on fumes, man.” Funny product placement. Tim Robinson is making a rare appearance. Jay Pharoah is funny. The green screen is obvious. Did they just say “ate him?” “The research team has just handed me anagrams of the players’ names.” “Cocaine kelp rink.” Clever. I like anagrams. Ewww……What commercial is that? Kenan’s reaction is funny! HAAHAHAHHAHHA! “…ran out of proper commercials” “Do we stop aging?” This is a relatively good sketch. Made it up? HAHAAHHAHHAHA! “Back to you” paradoxes! “This is a new world now.” I don’t care about Two Broke Girls. Ray Lewis murder trial mention..The lights are back! “I really need to leave before Ray is back…” B+
-Tigerboy’s Description: News commenters try to find something to do during the power outage.
-Regular Review: Pretty good sketch. The wh0le thing wasn’t funny, but the majority made me laugh. The writers were very creative with the acronyms. THe commercial parody was creepy.
-‘Rambling Guy”: PLEASE do not be singing. Two weeks in a row, I’ve had to say that. You know, they bill this as the “Valentine’s Special”, but it’s next week. Oh, well. “I had no idea there would be any girls here tonight.” Oh, no…Music…..”That romantic time of year. You know, Black History Month.” Oh, great….Yay, Kenan! Flash cards? Wow, he’s speaking to the audience. Eww…..Hey, I studied Phyllis Wheatley. “Okay, I don’t think that one’s true.” …Now he’s just lying. BOOOOO! SINGING! Ewwwww…….This monologue could be worse. WHOOPI GOLDBERG! WOOOOOOOO! Hooray for Whoopi! This could have been worse. B-
-Tigerboy’s Description: Justin Bieber awkwardly tries to combine teaching the audience about Black History Month, and woo an audience member.
-Regular Review: It wasn’t the best monologue I’ve ever seen, but it was mildly funny. Kenan and Whoopi were the best people in the monologue.
-“Rambling Guy”: Yes! I love this sketch! OKay…Funny way to say ‘Prius.’ HAHAHHAA! Justin Bieber is a hobo! Oh, a runaway. Not really much to say. Pretty funny. Closeups! Drama! Directions! Humor! HAHAHHAHAH! Multiple close-ups of Bill Hader’s character! B
-Tigerboy’s Description: The Californians help a runaway find his home family.
-Regular Review: The usual sketch. I’m glad they found a new way to keep it from becoming stale.
Justin Bieber Body Doubles:
-“Rambling Guy:” Okay, he’s playing himself. Who’s Steely Dan? HAHAHAHHAH! Funny body doubles of Bieber! THey don’t look like him! “Half of them are girls.” “Yeah, yeah, that’s our A-game right there.” MAJOR insult to Justin Bieber. He sounds like a girl when he’s singing! Well, so does the REAL Bieber. Oh, great. He’s singing. BOOOOOO! Okay, making fun of his dancing! Aidy Bryant! Ewww…Yay, Bobby Moynihan! It actually looks like they’re doing a real dance-off. Ewwww…..”A little gentleman by the name of Saddam Hussein!!” “He what? WHAT?” Was that a cameo? Ellen? Was that Ellen Degeneres?? Or was it Kate McKinnon playing her? B+
-Tigerboy’s Description: A security guard shows Bieber his new body doubles.
-Regular Review: A whole sketch of Bieber insults. FUNNY.
More “Real Housewives” Spinoffs:
-“Rambling Guy”: Okay, another “Real Housewives” parody. A dentist spin-off? THis seems racist. The limo driver? “Somewhere Chauffear the Rainbow?” Eww..HOUSEPLANTS?? HHAHAHAHAHAHA! SUNDAYS FOR ONE MINUTE??? ..Swear words…Dirty things…BAD. “Wait, didn’t we do that one already?” C+
-Tigerboy’s Description: More spinoffs are shown.
-Regular Review: Eh. Could have been better.
-“Rambling Guy”: Prediction: Whoopi Goldberg will announce either this one or the next one. I was right! Great…the guitar. YOU SING LIKE A GIRL! Okay…..Wikipedia, tell me what he’s singing so I can look up the lyrics. “As Long As You Love Me.” I can actually understand the lyrics, but I’ll look them up anyway. Singing, annoying. Music, barely tolerable. Lyrics, appropriate. C
-Tigerboy’s Description: Justin Bieber sings “As Long As You Love Me.”
-Regular Review: See “Rambling Guy.”
-“Rambling Guy”: Let’s hope this is good. Nor’Easter reference…”And worst of all, Instagram.” HAAHHAHA! “Trapped overnight’s not all that bad.” Who are they calling a drone? I do not recognize the picture. “Just cause” HAHAHAHAHAHHA! Alicia Keys? King Richard! I heard about that on CNN Student News! Cool, his two best friends. “The power went to his head, y’know…” This segment is good, but I’m not sure how long they can keep doing it without it getting old. Poison? HAHHAHAH! “Seth, it’s kind of like how you feel about your girlfriend moving in with you.” Madea??? In Star Wars? Honey Boo Boo jokes! “…in a custody battle.” Confusing joke. Funny joke about date surveys. Yay, Kenan! “Corey, the one black guy in college commercials!” They’re making fun of the racism of commercials. I think….”I have to give a high five every twelve seconds.” “I die, Seth.” “One clean part of Berkeley.” I predict that this will be a recurring character. Gangnam Style reference. I don’t get the Snap-Back jokes. The Monopoly thing! “You can be the iron, because no one’s buying a whole new game!” Funny Alabama joke. No Stefon…Awww… B
-Tigerboy’s Description: Seth Meyers cracks jokes, talks with the late King Richard’s two best friends and Corey, the one black guy in every commercial.
-Regular Review: Once again, a supremely funny Weekend Update. The guest segments were, for the most part, humorous.
West Side Story:
-“Rambling Guy”: COmputer issues, so I hope I can still do this. Forgive my mistakes. Really long bumper shot. Okay, a school. “Or a couple of regular birds in love.” This looks like a West Side Story parody. I know about West Side Story from a different parody. “Say more stuff…” “But he kept pushing on it rather than pulling.” “He doesn’t know how doors work?” Ewwww….Puppies? I don’t get it. Ewww…..”Billy thought he saw a witch, and ran, and locked himself in the car.” Ewwww….EWWWW….Idiot. “You know, I feel like I have to say something.” STOP THE SINGING! “You know I’m eleven, right?” B-
-Tigerboy’s Description: A VERY mismatched couple.
-Regular Review: Some parts were dirty, but this was amusing, for the most part. I heard the original song earlier today, at a dance.
The Miley Cyrus Show:
-“Rambling Guy”: I’m starting to fear that this post might not be posted at the usual time, because I am still having the issue. Oh, well. I can still type. OOH! I saw the list! It’s “The Miley Cyrus Show!” Maybe she had a scandal recently…Fun Fact: Miley Cyrus once was on that sketch, playing Justin Bieber. Perhaps Justin Bieber is going to return the favor. She looks different. “We’re all loving the new look.” Ewwww…EWWWW….That’s not funny, that’s just disgusting. Funny picture of her getting the tattoo. Funny tattoo. Okay, her guest is the president of some kind of fan club. I didn’t get the name. Oh, the “Miley Cyrus Fan Club.” AHHAHAHHAH! HE’S INSULTING HIMSELF! “I heard he still has his baby teeth.” The weed reference. “Yeah, me, too.” Way to promote yourself, Bieber. BOO! Billy Cyrus’s laugh is funny. A clip of her secret wedding….Yay, Taran Killam! HAAHHAHHAH! “Except for the cameras and pictures and all that…” “Wow, I can’t believe I just found out about this.” It’s over already? I’m still hoping for jokes about Justin Bieber’s drug abuse. REAL jokes. Not fake apologies. B+
-Tigerboy’s Description: Miley Cyrus invites the president of her fan club onto “The Miley Cyrus Show.”
-Regular Review: Mostly amusing.
Annoying Older Brother:
-“Rambling Guy”: Okay, a house. It looks like a first date. Prediction: As soon as the parents leave, Bieber will start smoking. Taran Killam is funny. How do you spell glice? Is it glyce or glice? Oh, well, it’s not real. “Why don’t you try out for glyce hockey?” Bad pun. “Gliceland.” Worse pun. Even though Justin Bieber is being made fun of, this could be funnier. “You fool!” Never mind. Taran Killam is hilarious. “Because I had such bad hair glice?” Swear word. Bad. Ewww…..Self-promotion!!!! BOOOOO!!! I hope Bieber breaks character from Taran Killam’s hilarious-ness. Did he just mention a bat? “I’m messing with you, Papa.” B
-Tigerboy’s Description: An older brother annoys his sister’s date.
And Now, A ***y Message From Justin Bieber:
-“Rambling Guy”: Ewwww…..Okay, this is going to be disgusting. This is pre-recorded. Ewwwwww……….I was right. This is disgusting. Bobby Moynihan is funny, though. Ewwwwww….Hillary Clinton?? Swear word. Bad. EWWWWWW…..Ultrasound gel? Taco has a toilet? D
-Tigerboy’s Description: Justin Bieber attempts to woo fans with a video, but is interrupted by his roommate, Taco.
-Regular Review: Disgusting, but Bobby Moynihan was funny.
Musical Performance 2:
-“Rambling Guy”: This time, Jason Sudeikis introduced it. Annoying singing. Weird lyrics. Bad playing. Who’s on the piano, in the background? He sang “Nothing Like Us.” Annoying lyrics. The episode is almost over. I hope that there will be another sketch, and not a song during the Goodnights. Sadly, that has happened before. Okay, it’s over. Bumper shot, so the episode might be ending. C-
-Tigerboy’s Description: Justin Bieber sings “Nothing Like Us.”
-Regular Review: See “Rambling Guy.”
Booker T. Washington High School’s Valentine’s Abstinence Dance:
-“Rambling Guy”: YEAH! Booker T. Washington High! I thought earlier that this might come, but I never put in the predictions. Man-diaper? HOBO WITH A CROSSBOW?? Jay Pharoah is hilarious. I find Justin Bieber’s impression of a head of a club very offensive. He’s portraying them as nerds. SELF-PROMOTION! HAHAHAAHA…..Frogs and turtles! Ewwww….Wager? VENTROLOQUIST PUPPET AS A DATE??? It’s foulmouthed? It must be Slappy, the living dummy from the Goosebumps books. Chewed through a fence? “Put my head through a screen door.” Ewwwww….Yay, Kenan! Nasim Pedrad’s face is priceless. Montesula’s Grenade???? Ewwww…I’m ashamed to admit it, but the symptoms of the disease make me laugh. SOMEONE JUST GAVE BIRTH??? I’m laughing out loud right now! WIG IN THE PUNCH BOWL???? A+++++++++++
-Tigerboy’s Description: Chaos at the dance! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
-Regular Review: Hilarious. I was ashamed that I laughed at some of the grosser jokes.
-“Rambling Guy”: I was right. Whoopi Goldberg cameod.
-Tigerboy’s Description: N/A
-Regular Review: N/A
Closing Comments: Well, they could have done a better job of insulting Bieber, but it was still hilarious. Because they didn’t do it, I’m going to make a blog post featuring Bieber endorsing “Baby’s First Meth Lab!” I will write it this week.
Best Sketch: Super Bowl Live On CBS
Worst Sketch: Annoying Older Brother
Best Commercial Parody: N/A
Worst Commercial Parody: And Now, A ***Y Message From Justin Bieber
Overall Rating: B-/83%