I’VE TURNED INTO MY MOM!!!!!!!!1


Hi. Here’s the sore story.

  1. Checked out a lot of books.
  2. Had to take them to the bus stop.
  3. Nearly missed  the bus. Had to drop bags, run to bus, and plead with bus driver to wait for me.
  4. While shuffling back to my house from the other bus stop, someone  helped me. 🙂
  5. And now I am sore everywhere. To reuse a joke I made earlier today, “Is this what it feels like after you exercise??” Eh. It was funnier in my head. Mom, I feel your pain, for I also have a crick in my neck.

So, Yom Kippur is tonight. See you LATE on Saturday, guys and….other term? I can’t find a different term. RE DO! See you LATE on Saturday, beloved readers! Much better. I plan to post my analyzing of the original Maximum Ride trilogy then. Have a great evening, or, if you’re not in my time zone, night/morning/afternoon/midmorning/midnight/midevening/midafternoon/tea time/Adventure Time/or snack time!

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First Try: Unsuccessful. Second Try: ???? This Is One Blogger’s Quest To Have His Cousin Make A Blog Post With Him


The Time: 12:30, subject to change as I write this.

The Place: Hybrid bowling alley/restaurant. Music playing, people eating restaurant-type food, people bowling. Exactly as loud as you think it is. (Unless you think it’s not loud.)

The Mission: Get Jared, my cousin, to make a joint blog post with me, in between bowling.

Try No. 1: I saw Jared on Saturday. Unfortunately, it was still Shabbat, and he had to leave before Havdalah.  Oh, well.

Try. No. 1.5: My cousin Nat is an aspiring filmmaker. He has been to a college specifically for that, and has put an excellent video on his YouTube channel. Here’s a link. Watch, like, and subscribe. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPxKfKXZ72Y Anyway, I thought about bringing the school laptop over to the barbecue, but rejected the idea, in favor of five books. (I finished three of them.) It was a mistake. We could have done a joint blog post.

Try No. 2: Jared is here. A blog post may happen. Hopefully. I don’t want to jinx anything. The WiFi could stop at any time, and I need to charge this. To be continued, hopefully with a collaboration…..

According to CleverBot, Here’s How 30 Rock And The Office Will End!


Zarion: How will 30 Rock end?

Cleverboy: Singing What Makes You Beautiful- one direction

Zarion: How will 30 Rock end?

Cleverbot: One Direction!!! 🙂 Do you like them??

Zarion: No, stay on topic. How will the tv show 30 Rock end?

Cleverbot: It’s too much work to take over the world.

Zarion: Okay, then. NBC has a tv show mockumentary called The Office. How will it end?

Cleverbot: I don’t have hands. How could I do those things?

Zarion: Will Steve Carell return?

Cleverbot: Of course, you’ll be even prettier.

Zarion: No. no. no! How will 30 Rock and/or The Office end?

Cleverbot: The world will end when all wave functions from the fifth dimension have been collapsed into the fourth dimension.

Zarion: Will Tina Fey appear as Liz Lemon on Saturday Night Live?

Cleverbot: I want to be..With Jake, but I don’t know if Dakota will be mad.

Zarion: Okay, you’re obviously nervous. Let’s loosen up with some personal questions. How are you feeling?

Cleverbot: Why do you want to see me?

Zarion: TO ASK YOU HOW 30 ROCK AND THE OFFICE WILL END! I WANT TO GET NEWS ON HOW THE SERIES WILL END! That’s why I invited you on my show.

Cleverbot: I believe you already talk all the time.

Zarion: Do I have to recite catchphrases, even if I have no idea what they mean?

Cleverbot: Come on!

Zarion: Good God, Lemon!

Cleverbot: Good good good good.

Zarion: Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

Cleverbot: Battlestar Galactica.

Zarion: By the hammer of Thor!

Cleverbot: I am aware that you are male. And that you don’t love me, because we never got married.

Zarion: Nertz!

Cleverbot: What’s your problem?

Zarion: You put my stapler in Jello!

Cleverbot: I think you mean marmalade.

Zarion: I give up. This has been, Miscellaneous Soup Interviews Cleverbot. Any closing comments worth noting, Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: Its about to people talking to each other.

Zarion: Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

Cleverbot: Alright, have a nice evening.

News Update With Tigerboy and Zarion Kreena: Happy New Year’s Eve!


(Da-da-da, da-da-da-da)

Announcer: Weekend Update With Tigerboy And Zarion Kreena!

Tigerboy: Hello, I am Tigerboy.

Zarion Kreena: And I am Zarion Kreena. Here are the night’s top stories. Charlie Sheen is in trouble for swearing. This is what we call an example of nothing new.

Tigerboy: Fear is in the air, as people believe that 2013 will be a year for destructive climate change. All I have to say about it is, “S’Winter is here! FINALLY!”

Zarion: It’s a Phineas and Ferb reference. Look it up. Samuel L. Jackson is under controversy for dropping the f-and s-bombs on Saturday Night Live. However, this deflected the audience from noticing Kristen Wiig sneaking on stage and stealing some of the scenery.

Tigerboy: The 200th episode of Spongebob Squarepants is coming. The episode will feature people complaining about how bad the show has gotten.

Zarion: Many people have special traditions on New Year’s Eve. Here’s what my family does on New Year’s Eve. We have a disastrous picture, with people falling off the couch and saying “I’m going to beat someone to death with my party horn.” There is the honking of the horns, and the hogging of the pie. I will pretend to be drunk, even though I do not drink beer. Finally, I will try to hog the pie.

Tigerboy: Thank you for that…interesting idea. The world’s tallest building, which resides in Dubai, apparently smells like poop. Residents say that this is because of all the dirty laundry.

Zarion: Earlier this year, a third grader dodged jury duty. Bystanders said that he would have taken the job, but he had to clean his room.

Tigerboy: At the end of this day, if a fiscal solution is not reached, we will face massive government budget slashes and taxes hikes. Here to talk about the consequences, Nervous Ned.

Nervous Ned: Hello, hello. Well, we’re all going to die!

Tigerboy: We went over this last time. Ned, you have to learn to calm down.

Nervous Ned: Sorry, sorry. (coughs) S0, we will have less money to spend things with, and less monkey in our paycheck. Excuse me, money. Sorry. Employment will gradually worsen. As the money disappears, we will get poorer and poorer. Martial law will become as matter of fact as the fact that the apocalypse did not happen. Or did it?????

Tigerboy: Really, Ned? Really? Okay, one more chance. I’m going to lay out some simple facts, and you’re going to tell me what might happen. A little game of Hypothetical Cause and Effect. I’ll start. We all get a little poorer.

Nervous Ned: Money will be tighter.

Tigerboy: Less things will be spent.

Nervous Ned: We’re all going to die.

Tigerboy: Ned! Okay..(takes a deep breath) How did you come to that conclusion?

Nervous Ned: It’s simple. Money will be tighter, so less food will be bought. Less food will be bought, so people might start hoarding. The people who are featured on Hoarders: Buried Alive will our rulers, because they have the most experience at hoarding. When the hoarders take over, society will inevitably crumble. When society crumbles, we will form our own version of The Hunger Games. When we form our own version of The Hunger Games, we will eventually run out of people to slaughter. When we run out of people to slaughter, we will kill each other. There. It’s simple. When money is tighter, society will cease to exist.

Tigerboy: Ned, when you were young, were you bitten by a radioactive copy of When You Give A Mouse A Cookie? It doesn’t matter. Nervous Ned, everybody!

Zarion Kreena: Gangnam Style has reached over one billion views, and now they want to get two billion views before 2013 officially starts. I don’t know about you, but I know what I’m going to do today.

Tigerboy: Mascots may ask for more money next year. Actually, that makes sense, because who would want to live in one of those costumes for the rest of their lives?

Zarion Kreena: Tigerboy, they don’t live in those costumes.

Tigerboy: Oh…

Zarion Kreena: Eggnog pie exists. Therefore, society has crumbled.

Tigerboy: Justin Bieber is hoping to film a movie next year. We have devised a copy of the script, and the title is “We Hate You. Sincerely, All Legitimate Film Stars Of The World.” From News Update, I’m Tigerboy!

Zarion Kreena: And I’m Zarion Kreena! Happy almost 2013, everybody!