My Second Post On “Zach Gets Political” Is Up!


Happy early birthday, “Syrika” Krishef! In other news, my second post on my political blog is up and running! An editorial on the government shutdown! Yes, I know. It’s so timely- only ten days after the actual event! Seriously, though, read it and subscribe my blog, if you want to. Have an excellent day, everyone! Maximum Ride reviews coming soon!

Government Shutdown: No Library For You??


I have just received confirmation from my U.S. History teacher that the government shutdown may result in the closure of libraries, and that I should check this week if they’re still open. My mental response: “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!! THE HORROR!!!” I’m running out of library books. I have to return others. What about fines?? I need my library…

So, after school, I should try to contact the Yankee Clipper Library. Once I do that, I can find out when they will be closed. Hopefully, I will still be able to go to the library on Wednesday. If so, I’ll stock up on a lot of books! (PACK RAT/ POTENTIAL HOARDERS CASE!!) That’s a joke. Have a great day everyone, and I hope that the government shutdown will be temporary, and not just because of the libraries. (WWWHHHYYYYY????)

The Ultimate Experiment?


Hello, readers. While not necessarily on this blog, I have complained about Twilight for years. My complaints have ranged from the contrived and boring story to the various “morals” that can be drawn from it. I finally have received some proof as to the horrible messages in this article.  Please go to the “Unfortunate Implications” section for more details.

Now, an idea has entered into my mind. Whether it was born from a reader’s morbid curiosity or the frozen state that my brain is currently in (Thank you, fall!), part of me wishes to read the Twilight series, and then analyze it here.  And, because my thinking processes are still bleary from morning tiredness and the weather, I will let YOU decide! Comment below, yes or no. Should I read what I believe to be the worst book series known to Earth, or not? (Be warned: Once I come to my senses,  I may simply disregard all comments made, or lack of comments.) Have an excellent morning, afternoon, evening, night, and midnight! (Or, in layman’s terms, a day.)

First Up: Jared’s Story, Based On The Randomly Generated Topic “9 Things I Like About MMA”


Note from Zach: If you want to try this, use this website: http://www.generatorland.com/glgenerator.aspx?id=122

So. Good morning sunshine, the earth says hello. And so do I. I am here from my theater to contribute my own two cents (or scallions, if you so desire) to the Miscellaneous Soup pot. Here goes: “9 Things I Like About Mixed Martial Arts,” beautifully arranged in list form.

1. It’s mixed. Gotta love that. You can’t just have more of the same, it simply gets unenjoyable. At least those kind folks over at MMA know how to mix things up.

2. It’s martial arts. Yes, it is an art. Like painting, sculpting, or choreographing dancing bananas, punching the living stuffing out of a fellow human requires coordination, poise, and, most of all, delicacy.

3. I know literally nothing about any martial arts that are not Tae Kwon Do (I’m an advanced blue belt…woohoo!), so this gives me a (great?) reason to expand my knowledge, since I had to research what the heck MMA actually is.

4. Apparently, according to my friend Wikipedia, it required both striking and grappling techniques. Taken completely out of context, striking is awesome in bowling, and grappling is awesome if you are trying to scale a building with a hook attached to a rope. So, I’m a fan.

5. It’s unarmed. Which means double-arm amputees can participate too (sorry…bad pun). But you don’t have to worry about “bringing a knife to a gun fight” because both are prohibited. However, you may have to worry about bringing a fist to a fist fight, which would only be a problem if you weigh 200 pounds less than your opponent.

6. It traces its roots back to the ancient Greek Olympics, which are slightly older than I am (like maybe 2800 years…). That’s pretty cool because, ya know, it just is.

7. If you apply the same technique Marshall Mathers used to come up with his rap name (Eminem, formed by spelling out “M and M,” his initials), the name of the game becomes “Ememay” which is weird-looking and not the actual name.

8. MMA fights are usually broadcast on pay-per-view, which means nothing to me since I don’t ever watch pay-per-view, but I’m sure the TV companies like it (and probably the fighters too).

9. After writing this, I know slightly more about MMA, and I hope you do too. Therefore, I never have to watch it. Right?

Thanks for reading this guest post, and I hope you like MMA as much as I do(n’t).

-Jared

First Try: Unsuccessful. Second Try: ???? This Is One Blogger’s Quest To Have His Cousin Make A Blog Post With Him


The Time: 12:30, subject to change as I write this.

The Place: Hybrid bowling alley/restaurant. Music playing, people eating restaurant-type food, people bowling. Exactly as loud as you think it is. (Unless you think it’s not loud.)

The Mission: Get Jared, my cousin, to make a joint blog post with me, in between bowling.

Try No. 1: I saw Jared on Saturday. Unfortunately, it was still Shabbat, and he had to leave before Havdalah.  Oh, well.

Try. No. 1.5: My cousin Nat is an aspiring filmmaker. He has been to a college specifically for that, and has put an excellent video on his YouTube channel. Here’s a link. Watch, like, and subscribe. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPxKfKXZ72Y Anyway, I thought about bringing the school laptop over to the barbecue, but rejected the idea, in favor of five books. (I finished three of them.) It was a mistake. We could have done a joint blog post.

Try No. 2: Jared is here. A blog post may happen. Hopefully. I don’t want to jinx anything. The WiFi could stop at any time, and I need to charge this. To be continued, hopefully with a collaboration…..