Miscellaneous Soup Celebrates Income Taxes, With Tales Of Your Tax Dollars At Work! Here’s 10 Instances Of Wasteful Government Spending!


Source: http://endoftheamericandream.com/archives/30-stupid-things-the-governemnt-is-spending-money-on

1)

Cost: $22,000

Location: Mission Hills, California

Reason: A “tattoo removal program”

2)

Cost: $615,000

Location: University of California, Santa Cruz

Reason: Digitizing the Grateful Dead music

3)

Cost: 2.6 billion dollars

Location: Unknown (Do you really want to know???)

Reason: “Teaching Chinese prostitutes to drink properly”

4)

Cost: $239,100

Location: Stanford University

Reason: A professor studied how people use the Internet to find love.

5)

Cost: $13,500

Location: Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse

Reason: The U.S. Postal Service was hungry, apparently. I’m looking at you, Newman! (Seinfeld reference.) The worst part is that all of this was ONE DINNER.

6)

Cost: 1.8 million

Location: Las Vegas, Nevada

Reason: Buying a museum of neon signs!!!

7)

Cost: $100,00

Location: Indonesia

Reason: The U.S. government spent that amount of money on a “Celebrity Chef Fruit Promotion Road Show.”

8)

Cost: $2 billion a year

Location: Farms

Reason: What U.S. farmers are given when they don’t farm their land (or even if they don’t farm their land)

9)

Cost: $137,530

Location: Dartmouth (a college)

Reason: Creating a recession-themed video game called “Layoff” (Oh, the irony! And they wonder why we might be going INTO a recession!!)

10)

Cost: $5,000

Location: Tennessee

Reason: The U.S. government gave this to Tennessee for a “series of video game parties.”

Happy Income Tax Day! For more, once again, check out this website!

Next on Miscellaneous Soup: We celebrate libraries with National Library Week! (But not satirically!)

Saturday Night Live Season 38, Episode 18: Vince Vaughn(HOST), Miguel (MUSICAL GUEST): FEATURING


Zarion: Hi. Welcome to another review.

Tigerboy: Hooray!

Host: Vince Vaughn

Why He’s Hosting: The film The Internship.

Musical Guest: Miguel

Why He’s Playing: The new album “Kaleidoscope Dream.”

Cold Opening-“A Message From The President Of The United States

-“Rambling Guy”: Yay! Gun control. I’ve been following this. “To begin debating the idea.” Jason and Bill! Yeah! “He’s going to lose his job!” “He’s going to lose his job, too.” I like political comedy. “Are you a good person? Seriously, are you?” This is funny. Vending machines? “Buy two pizzas, get a free gun.” “Well, except on weekends, and the Super Bowl.” Trouble with Florida? Uh, oh. “They will literally throw it up in the air and shoot it with a gun. I’ve seen it. C-Span gets a little rowdy sometimes.” Yeah, I heard about the Jay-Ze thing. B+

-Regular Review: This was funny, but it seemed a little short. Also, all of the jokes were on the same subject, but still amusing.

-Tigerboy’s Description: Barack Obama speaks about gun control to the U.S.

Monologue:

-“Rambling Guy”: Well, Don Pardo sounds back to normal….Unless it’s a recording. Oh, well. You know, I’ve always thought of the monologues as the host playing a fictionalized version of themselves. It’s more amusing that way. He seems older in comparison to his first time hosting. This does not seem amusing, so far. Caged animals? He’s going to step in the audience? I predict cameos, or cast members playing audience members, or writers. “I like your face.” “And if you were daydreaming” I wonder if these aren’t plants. Oh, well. “Or just got the ankle bracelet off.” I’m not very amused, so far. Ewww…..”I don’t want a lawsuit.” “I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” Okay, this is getting funnier. Drunk Uncle reference. “I’m not saying he’s not a mule.” Poor Paige. “I’ve fallen in love with Paige.” C

-Regular Review: I found this to not be very funny. It’s just him saying random things to the audience, and not very funny things at that. Some parts are funny, but, for the most part, it’s confusing and annoying.

-Tigerboy’s Description: Vince Vaughn tries to make the audience feel good.

The Al Pacino Accused Murders Biopic Series:

-“Rambling Guy”: Hmmmm…Biopics. That’s a funny wig. I like Bill Hader‘s Al Pacino impression. He’s just doing the same voice, which makes it funnier. “That Italian ferry captain” I don’t like the blackface he’s using. C+

-Regular Review: Most of it was amusing, but I didn’t like the blackface.

-Tigerboy’s Description: Bill Hader’s Al Pacino has a new series on HBO.

Stormy Skies:

-“Rambling Guy”: “At nine, its’ “Oh, no torna-“. Okay, a Weather Channel soap opera. Eww….”Let’s go to him now. Tad?” I find this funny, but only slightly. Eww…EWWW….I really hope this doesn’t become a recurring sketch. “Who appears to be back from the dead.” Oh, my. She’s saying some really nasty things. “Your intestines as a necklace.” “Record levels of amnesia” Aidy Bryant is in the background, dancing. YAY! Kenan is playing Al Roker. Eww…C+

-Regular Review: COncept was good, but I didn’t like the crude humor.

-Tigerboy’s Description: A soap opera made by Weather Channel people.

Rock And Roll Margaret Thatcher Tribute:

-“Rambling Guy”: Wait, what’s this? Oh. Punk music things. For the first time in a while, things are picking up for Fred Armisen. I don’t appreciate the reference to Margaret Thatcher. It’s offensive. I realize that this is supposed to be a tribute, but I just don’t like it. Armisen’s British accent reminds me of Jimmy Fallon’s British accent. C-

-Regular Review: See above.

-Tigerboy’s Description: I don’t know.

Short Term Memory Loss Theater:

-“Rambling Guy”: Okay, this seems good, so far. “Never forget a certain word” Okay…the joke is that they can’t remember their lines. I thought it would be something else. This doesn’t seem very funny. This does not live up to Tom Hank‘s “Mr. Short Term Memory.” That was funny, this is just rude. Bill Hader is breaking character, slightly. F

-Regular Review: See above.  Really, I don’t know. Maybe I would find this funny in another time.

-Tigerboy’s Description: Actors with short-term memory loss have problems acting in a play.

Musical Performance #1:

-“Rambling Guy”: I’m hoping that the episode will get better here. Okay, I like the instrumentals. The singing seems relatively good. Now for the lyrics. They are appropriate, and he is singing “Adorn.” Abecause it’s most likely the only one this episode is going to get.

-Regular Review: See above.

-Tigerboy’s Description: Miguel plays “Adorn.”

Weekend Update With Seth Meyers:

-“Rambling Guy”: Please, please, PLEASE let the sketches get better here. PLEASE. “He is NOT happy we forgot.” “ANd he must have his finger on America’s pulse if he knows cool words like hokum.” Chucks? Oh, his shoes. Weird Rick Ross joke. “That’s an ice cream man hitting on you.” Brad Paisley and LL Cool Jay. Finally, some Jason Sudeikis. “I’m not sure you ended racism.” “It’s not even good.” This is getting very racist. Okay, my hopes are getting crushed. “You did not cure racism.” “We spent eleven minutes writing that song!” Clown car..funny. I heard about that. Poor elephant. “The heebie-jeebies.” I heard about that Charlie Brown guy. Funny joke. “You never forget the night a German man played clicking noises while you tried to sleep.” “He’s still a monster.” I heard about the weird puppets. Marina Chapman, raised by monkeys. Prediction: Mr. Peepers, played by Chris Kattan will cameo. “What is a monkey alarm?” Eww.. The monkey bath doesn’t sound very fun. Ewww…..”I mean, probably?” “We will rip off your face.” That’s one talented monkey actor. Ewww…Actually, my dog eats his own poop. Still, yuck. C-

-Regular Review: Could have been better.

-Tigerboy’s Description: Seth Meyers makes jokes, talks with Brad Paisley, LL Cool Jay, and Marina Chapman.

Weird Old Man At A Prom:

-“Rambling Guy”: Okay, a prom. Yeah, I’ve heard that junior proms are happening now. Okay, a rich man donated money to their prom, and he lives in a hill above their house. Sounds weird, and not very funny. Okay, he wants to dance with Bobby Moynihan’s character. Okay, it’s going to happen again, with Taran Killam’s character. He’s being really mean. D

-Regular Review: This isn’t funny.

-Tigerboy’s Description: A weird old  man crashes a prom.

NBC Sports Offices:

-“Rambling Guy”: Okay, making fun of themselves. That should be good. This is slightly funny. “Could we hear it with just the music?” This concept isn’t as funny. I just imagined weird songs for NBC. They can’t stop singing…..”I say we make it look more like a dump.” That’s a huge bottle of lighter fluid. “We did it again!” D-

-Regular Review: The writing felt off, and I didn’t like the acting.

-Tigerboy’s Description: A new song for NBC’s NBA is shown.

Musical Performance #2:

-“Rambling Guy”: I like the music. The singing is not annoying. He is singing “How Many Drinks”, and the lyrics are not appropriate. C+

-Regular Review: See above.

-Tigerboy’s Description: Miguel plays “How Many Drinks.”

At A Bar:

-“Rambling Guy”: Ewww….Does anyone else think that her voice sounds like Melissa McCarthy? Ewww..I really don’t like this. F

-Regular Review:

-Tigerboy’s Description:

Goodnights: 

-“Rambling Guy”: I was right. No one cameod.

-Regular Review: N/A

-Tigerboy’s Description: N/A

Closing Comments: This episode was terrible. I didn’t like the writing, or the acting.

Best Sketch: “Cold Opening”

Worst Sketch: Everything else.

Best Commercial Parody: N/A

Worst Commercial Parody: All of them.

Overall Rating: D-

Adventures in Literature With CleverBot and Zarion: Episode 1: Reviews, Hypothesizing on House of Hades, and Predicting How Good Future Books Will Be


Zarion: Hello, welcome to Adventures in Literature. I’m Zarion Kreena, and this is Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Do you want me to remove these ads for you?

Zarion: It’s time to pull out the book bag, and review the more notable book that I’ve read recently.

Cleverbot: A positive attitude is for people who know nothing about life.

Zarion Kreena: First up, A Match Made In High School, by Kristin Walker. I really didn’t like it.

Cleverbot: You want me to talk about love?

Zarion Kreena: Sure.

Cleverbot: So what seems to be the problem?

Zarion:  Well, the book cover interested me. You know the phrase about that, but still. The title caught my attention, as well as the back cover’s description. This girl. Fiona, has to take a special course at her school where she is “married” to someone she hates, while her enemy’s girlfriend is paired up with her crush. Judging from the phrase “slightly sadistic”, I thought the book would be funny.

Cleverbot: I’m talking about my mom.

Zarion: It is apparently supposed to be funny, but not my style of humor. The book is crude, and filled with disgusting sexual jokes and references. Not one of the better teen books.

Cleverbot: What brand of beer do you drink?

Zarion Kreena: Fiona’s enemy, Todd, according to the back cover, ‘may have a heart behind his pretty-boy exterior.’ I assume that that means that he’s a good person, underneath the person who makes the aforementioned sexual references and jokes. And, because the back cover suggested it, that makes it true.

Cleverbot: What did they live on?

Zarion: Even though he does supposedly have a heart, he’s still a really horrible character. The only person I really like in the book is Fiona’s babysitting charge, Samantha. Even so, she has some annoying moments. This book was  flop, and it really annoyed me.

Cleverbot: Sounds like a great book.

Zarion Kreena: I assume you’re being sarcastic.

Cleverbot: No, not sarcastic.

Zarion Kreena: Anyway, here’s my next book, My Favorite Band Does Not Exist. The basic plot is someone who has Deity’s Syndrome- He thinks that he’s a character in the book! He’s making this fake website about a band, but in an alternate reality, the band exists! It’s really hilarious, and something tells me that the author, Robert T. Jeschonek, likes poking fun at himself.

Cleverbot: Is she like me? There’s another little girl in the garden, somewhere!

Zarion Kreena: I’m not going to ruin anything, but the ending completely comes out of left field. I give this an A.

Cleverbot: No, I was refering to the man in the moon.

Zarion Kreena: Here’s the final notable book I’m done reading. It’s a 624-page DC Comics Showcase Presents Booster Gold, Vol. 1. He’s obnoxious with his constant self-promotion, but he does eventually become a real hero, and a Justice League member.

Cleverbot: Well fortunately, I am a member of neither of those categories, but I suspect you belong in one of them.

Zarion Kreena: Yeah, right. I’m Batman! I am the night! I can’t do the real voice, it hurts.

Cleverbot: They do what and does that mean there are more like me?

Zarion: Well, to end this segment, I’m going to give a brief review of a book I’m currently reading, Crisis On Infinite Earths. Not the novelization, but the DC Comics crossover. It’s really good! I don’t recognize all of the characters, but it’s nice to see a DC Comics story where it’s actually good. An old one, I mean. Before the 21st century.

Cleverbot: There are facts of economics that make poverty almost inevitable.

Zarion: Next segment. Here’s some books I’m going to read soon. So, I’m going through a phase where I’m forcing myself to overcome my bias of DC Comics, and I’m reading new books. Superman: Grounded is one of them. I’ve browsed, and apparently, after someone dies in Metropolis of brain cancer, Superman is wracked with guilt. He could have done something, but he was on a space mission.

Cleverbot: Can you are more explicit?

Zarion: Yes, Cleverbot. He just starts walking across Metropolis, and the storyline features him doing ordinary things, and saving ordinary people. He goes to a diner, stops an abusive father, and some other things. Okay, maybe I didn’t so much “browse” as “read almost the whole thing.” Still, I like it. It’s written by J. Michael Straczynski. He had an excellent run on Spider-Man, over at Marvel Comics.

Cleverbot: I never should try to remember my name in the middle of an accident! Where would be the use of it?

Zarion: We’re running out of time, so here’s my final to-be-read book series. It’s been turned into a television series on ABC, it’s by Sarah Shepard! No, not The Lying Game, though that is excellent. It’s Pretty Little Liars! I’ve checked out almost all of the books, and it’s really interesting! Four girls each have a horrible secret, and their friend Ally has died. Meanwhile, someone calling themselves “A” has been sending them threatening messages, wanting to reveal their secrets. It deals with relevant topics, and I really enjoy it. I can’t wait for the next books to come out.

Cleverbot: Thats a Lies, there is fault in your coding. My friend.

Zarion: Final segment time. House of Hades is the third book in Rick Riordan’s Heroes of Olympus series. Let’s get predicting! I’ll give one prediction, and then it’ll be your turn! Warning: Spoilers will be here for those who have not read the series, yet. It will start with Percy and Annabeth, and they will still be falling. What do you think will happen, Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: The widget goes in your can of lager. Do you like lager?

Zarion: That’s our show! I’m Zarion Kreena!

Cleverbot: I bet you are.

Zarion: Goodnight, keep reading, and be sure to look up the books I mentioned, even the one I didn’t enjoy! Comment to debate with me over the books, and recommend other books, or if you want me to review the non-notable books I’ve read over the past two days.

Cleverbot: I’m not talking about a holy book. What’s your favorite of Orson Scott Card’s books?

 

Stream-Of-Consciousness Writing #2


Silently, I strike. My victim dies slowly, excruciating pain written on every pore of its body. I feast, gorging on flesh. Is this cruel, you ask? Is this unethical? Is this wrong? No, for this is nature. I am the predator, and everything is my prey. When the day comes that I meet my predator, I will struggle, but eventually cease to live. It is the way of life. Our way of life. Nature.

-This has been sponsored by the National Nature Notification Society.

Saturday Night Live Review/Recap- Season 38, Episode 17- Melissa McCarthy (HOST), Phoenix (MUSICAL GUEST): FEATURING


Zarion Kreena: Welcome to another SNL review! Let’s hope the game doesn’t delay it!

Tigerboy: Cough, cough: CHARLES BARKLEY EPISODE: Cough, cough. So, what are your thoughts on March Madness?

Zarion Kreena: I’m watching the game! I’ve made prediction charts. (pause, bursts out laughing)

Tigerboy: (laughs) Ahh…sarcasm. So, what’s going to happen in the episode?

Zarion Kreena: Not sure. I predict that Kristen Wiig will cameo. Any thoughts from our special guest, Momicon?

Momicon: I will like it because I am a Melissa McCarthy fan, she’s a hoot!!!

Host: Melissa McCarthy

Why She’s Hosting: Either This Is 40, Identity Thief, or The Heat.

Musical Guest: Phoenix

Why They’re Playing: A new album called “Bankrupt!”

Cold Opening- “C-Span

-“Rambling Guy”: Bobby Moynihan is usually funny! Hey, for once, I think the supposedly automated voice is Nasim Pedrad. I don’t see why this is funny, so far. “To lift our nation’s ban on same-sex marriage.” I believe they are making fun of a different senator, who made this decision. Executed? Poor fictional person. “It was because he was hosting a weekly book discussion group at his apartment.” The audience…Ahh, fun with stock footage. Ewww…This is getting dirty. “You will be sent to a labor camp.” Bobby Moynihan’s facial expressions are amusing. “Sweet sixteen” Wow, Kim Jong Un has a March Madness thing. “uncanny vision and heroic foresight.” Cool! The real Dennis Rodman cameod! B-

-Regular Review: It got really dirty in the middle, but the beginning and ending saved it.

-Tigerboy’s Description: Kim Jong Un addresses the United Nations.

Monologue:

-“Rambling Guy”: Those are some interesting heels, according to Momicon. “That seemed like a shorter intro.” “I should have tried these shoes on.” Nice chair. “What’s up with Bloomberg and these little drinks?” “Even the rats are sneezing.” I like slapstick! “This smells like a lot of musicians.” Usually, I don’t like singing, but this is amusing. Taran Killam is a good singer. “No, I got it!” “Mr. Worrywart ,I got it!” “He gets nervous. He likes to hold hands.” “What, I live in heels!” “I can not feel anything from my arch to my toe. You can just bite that part off.” It’s happening again!” A

-Regular Review: You know, I always think of the monologues as the actors playing fictionalized versions of themselves. This reinforced my theory AND made me laugh. Bonus.

-Tigerboy’s Description: Melissa’s heels are giving her some trouble.

ESPN- “Outside The Lines”:

-“Rambling Guy”: I heard about that on CNN Student News. Melissa McCarthy is funny! “While they were on roller skates.” Usually, swearing offends me, but it is making me laugh, this time. “Begged for me to replace her” Shes’ throwing basketballs in the room! Tasers?? Now the swearing is offending me. “Kenny Walkins had changed his tune.” She’s outside the window!!! SHE THREW A TOASTER! “You seemed offensive.” “It’s not like I drove a golf cart through practice.” “But she did.” “Were you the ones who injured them?” “Harvests the organs of his players and sells them for personal gain.” B

-Regular Review:

-Tigerboy’s Description: Mike Rice is nothing compared to Sheila Kelly! *dodgeball hits me* No, no! She’s a good person! She’s a good person!

The Voice:

-“Rambling Guy”: Slight mistake. “And a goat that screams like a person.” What is she singing? “Don’t mess with my tutu!” It’s amusing to see Adam Levine being made fun of, after he hosted. “They told me that if I went on this show, I would get a week off from work.” “I’d say I’m pretty skeptical.” “Taking trailer hitches off of U-Hauls.” “Is there anyone that does not get picked by you guys?” She has a very strong accent. “I don’t know what you just said.” They’re just saying nonsense! “No, I do not have hot-water tanks.” “Oh, he’s an alcoholic.” “I live in a basement, except there’s no roof.” A hole???? “You have so much misplaced enthusiasm.” A

-Regular Review: After seeing a real commercial based on this, the impressions of everything were spot-on! Melissa’s character made me laugh!

-Tigerboy’s Description: The judges will root for you, no matter how bad you are!

Ham Contest:

-“Rambling Guy”: Okay, some kind of ham contest. “It’s an exciting meat.” Melissa’s costumes are impressive. “I made a ham every day.” That is a very impressive presentation. Wow….she pretended to haul them in and slaughter them. A

-Regular Review: Dancing, funny. Singing, funny. Characters, funny.

-Tigerboy’s Description: McCarthy’s character tries to impress the judges at a party.

Public Service Announcement for Decency:

-“Rambling Guy”: This is creepy….Ewwww…”It’s a fully functional office….in the bathroom.” “And begin anchoring the shelves…” That’s a lot of steps….”I can’t get out!” Ewww….”Nothing’s that important. And it’s disgusting.” A

-Regular Review: I really thought it was a normal commercial parody, but it turned out to be a fake PSA.

-Tigerboy’s Description: Don’t use technology in the bathroom. Really, just don’t.

Musical Performance 1:

-“Rambling Guy”: I like the music, so far. Nice drum set. I just wish there was a banjo….Okay, they’re singing “Entertainment.” Good music, the singing is not annoying, and appropriate lyrics. I give it an A.

-Regular Review: See “Rambling Guy.”

-Tigerboy’s Description: Phoenix plays “Entertainment.”

Weekend Update:

-“Rambling Guy”: “So let this be a warning to you, middle of the ocean!” “must have been an amazing brunch!” YES!!  Recurring character!!! WOOO! “And besides, it beats doin’ homework!” “Sounds like my brother Ethan, when my mother, asks him to turn down his rock music!” “Pretty bad, but it beats doin’ homework!” He just keeps ignoring him. Breaking character! “Number one: Thou shalt not do homework! But, it beats doin’ homework!” “I feel like you’re on autopilot, now, Jacob.” “My cat, David Ben Purion.” “So give that special someone the gift that says “I don’t know what you like.”” Funny airline joke. Funny Sesame Street joke. “It’s for things to get worse.” Hooray! Kenan Thompson! “And (censored) if I ever lost so much money!” “I had to (unintelligible) sell my hair!” “Oh, they must be crazy!” “I don’t know anything about college basketball!” “And Michael Jordan is the Michael Jordan of gambling too much!” Oh, the person who broke his leg, Kevin Ware. “I’m going to start at Chapter 10 so I’ll get done faster!” “Gambling addiction, ya’ll!” “Nothing makes for safer driving than looking up and seeing a clown!” “In your grey dress from Target!” “Quick kid, get in the car! I think this guy is a bronie!” And here’s the part where this episode gets bad and racist. Oh, well. “People don’t even dress up for taxes anymore.” “Do you know what I’m writing off this year? The next generation!” “Stop throwing asteroids at us!” I feel very annoyed at the writers. Ewww…..What is SnapChat, anyway? He’s singing! And now he’s crying. Cameo? Okay, it’s Peter Dinklage. Thank you, Wikipedia. “Marco! Rubio!” Now they’re both singing! B

-Regular Review: Most of this made me laugh, but, as always, the “Drunk Uncle” portion offended me. Still, he did have some amusing parts.

-Tigerboy’s Description: Seth Meyers makes political jokes, speaks with Jacob, Charles Barkley, and Drunk Uncle.

Million Dollar Wheel:

-“Rambling Guy”: This seems good, judging from the clip of them setting up. McCarthy is playing a Vanna-type person. “Suzette left because of an alcohol problem! Mine! I’m a terrible drunk!” Feather toss? “I’m going to pretend the x is in love with my feet!” She’s pulling the wrong letters! The dinging noise is getting annoying. “There are absolutely no D’s, (unintelligible)” “There are eight D’s.” She is an excellent actor! “You stay put! I’m getting paid to do this job!” She’s revealing the whole thing! “I imagine you would.” “A stitch in time saves time!” A

-Regular Review: Everything about this made me laugh.

-Tigerboy’s Description: The word-turner on a game show could use a few lessons.

Getting Pizza Money:

-“Rambling Guy”: Okay, a bank. I think it’s her character again from the yogurt sketch last season! I’m confused. “You expect us to give you money so you can buy pizza?” This is amusing. Never mind, now I think it’s her character from the disgusting office sketch last season. “What part of that book did you actually read?” “I legitimately love eating pizza.” Why is she clearing his desk? “Do you want the crispy hot or do you want the soggy, two day pizza?” “No, it says pizza! It’s written! Let’s go!” SHE’S EATING IT! She is a very good actress. B+

-Regular Review: It was a bit hard to follow, at first. The middle portion really made me laugh, but the ending felt a little flat. Still, it amused me.

-Tigerboy’s Description: A pizza-loving woman tries to make a business that involves her eating pizza.

Musical Performance 2:

-“Rambling Guy”: I hope this is as good as the first part. I like the music, again. Momicon was right; The musicians do look like stoners. The singing doesn’t annoy me, but it vaguely sounds like they’re stoned right now. Okay, the lyrics are weird (i.e. cannibal boyfriends, pink and white binoculars), but at least they are appropriate. They’re singing “Trying To Be Cool.” A

-Regular Review: See “Rambling Guy.”

-Tigerboy’s Description: Phoenix plays “Trying To Be Cool.”

The Art Of The Encounter:

-“Rambling Guy”: Uh, oh..This sounds like it’s going to be dirty. “Are you at a party and drop your steak on the floor because you’re so nervous?” “Four thousand dollars worth of damage” “I’m desperate for a man.” She’s drinking straight from the punch bowl! “Personal health scares” “Thirteen was one of them!” “Wait until I start talking about blazers and travel mugs!” Ewww….. “Boy, who knew there was so many cereals!” Splits on faces? EWWWW! Bobby Moynihan and Tim Robinson look creepy. B-

-Regular Review: The sketch featured minor dirty parts, but it could have been worse.

-Tigerboy’s Description: How to find the best conversation with Mr. Right!

Goodnights:

-“Rambling Guy”: I was correct. Dennis Rodman and Peter Dinklage cameod.

-Regular Review: N/A

-Tigerboy’s Description: N/A

Closing Comments: For the first time, I liked every single sketch! WOO! Perfect episode! Or, as close as it can get.

Best Sketch: “Million Dollar Wheel”

Worst Sketch: “Cold Opening” or “The Art of the Encounter.”

Best(and worst, as there was only one) Commercial Parody: “Public Service Announcement”

Overall Rating: 93%/A-